Exploiting My Baby : A Blog by Teresa Strasser

I wanted to be Coco. Until the Porno.

Coco is approached in a diner by a filmmaker who tells her he is casting a film he plans to shoot in the south of France.

She goes to his apartment for a screen test, but there is no crew. And if you saw the movie “Fame,” this scene is as seared in your memory as it is in mine. Poor Coco Hernandez, thinking she was one cold reading away from stardom and instead walking into the poorly decorated maw of a small time pornographer.

This is the scene I picture when I’m having a terrible audition.

So it was Coco I thought about recently when I auditioned for a pilot based on the popular website, Jezebel.com.

(more…)

As a mom looking for shit to do with a toddler, I’ve kissed some frogs, and not just the kind at the zoo’s house of amphibians.

I try stuff. You never know what your kid might go for. And that’s how I came to visit the private home of a woman offering a bread baking class for kids. I made a reservation for the class online, paid via PayPal, and received an email with the super secret location of this teacher’s home up in the hills somewhere above Hollywood. I would be enlarging my son’s brain by exposing him to measuring cups, sensory experiences, dough, flour and the majesty of baking. After class, we would pack up our delicious handmade bread and I would drop him off at daycare — his frontal cortex enriched — just in time for his lunch and nap.

This is the stuff working mom fantasies are made of: the scent of bread baking, being with your kid on a weekday, maybe a gingham apron, maybe make it all up to him, a child rolling out dough, beaming up at you.

Like I said, I try stuff.

(more…)

A few months ago, I recorded an episode of “The Mental Illness Happy Hour” with host Paul Gilmartin.

I’ve gotten so much lovely feedback from those who have heard it, I thought I would post a link here. Also, I understand from social media experts it’s good to update one’s blog quarterly.

I must admit, I do own the Fear-Off. I have finally found a sport at which I can excel.

Personally, I enjoy hearing about other people’s emotional problems. So, help yourself to some of mine on Paul’s podcast and take a listen.

My Childhood With Andre

I ask this question during my fourth go-round with the song, “Ghostbusters.” It’s playing in the industrial parking lot of a quaint Pennsylvania suburb where a group of elementary school children are having a Halloween parade. An amplifier is perched on a chair, an orange extension cord leading to a cute schoolhouse, complete with glimmering swing set.

Sure, it’s an industrial complex, but filled with holistic chiropractors and fancy personalized gyms. The children dutifully march in an oval, all being feverishly photographed by their parents. Siblings too young to be in school are clinging to their moms’ legs wearing ladybug costumes or puffy princess dresses.

(more…)