The Evil Stepmother Dies
Excerpt:
What do you do when you lose someone? Someone you really hated? It’s a little awkward, I’ll tell you that much. Last month, my stepmother of more than 25 years died at age 67 of lung cancer. It was a terrible death, one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, which, incidentally, she was…
Taking a Husband’s Name, for Better or Worse
Excerpt:
Good news and bad news about having the surname Strasser. Maj. Strasser is a character in “Casablanca,” arguably the best movie of all time. On the downside, Maj. Strasser is a major Nazi, which causes major confusion in Hebrew school and thereafter for a Jewish girl like me…
A Baby Story
Excerpt:
Right now, I’m the sidekick on a morning radio program and co-host of a weekly television show on deep, deep cable. Based on my career trajectory thus far, my next job will be a series of non-union Mobisodes…
I’ll Sit This One Out
Excerpt:
I’m at a small house party, lounging on a couch, drinking a beer, flanked by girlfriends, safe. Everything is fine. That is, until some hateful former college DJ feels the need to crank up his party mix and “Staying Alive” fills the air. No matter how hip and alternative people are, they lose their minds when they hear the Bee Gees…
Saying Goodbye to an Angel in Sin City
Excerpt:
Mr. Snead has an artificially orange comb-forward and the type of throaty voice and desiccated face one only acquires after living in the desert for awhile. He is an undertaker.
On his forearm, I make out what are obviously two prison tattoos; one reads “Love” and the other is a name, “Jenna,” maybe. He is filling out forms with a mechanical pencil like a man for whom writing doesn’t come easily…
The ‘L’ Word
Excerpt:
How do you spell crippling inability to connect? L-U-V.
That’s how I spelled it. After months of trying to make myself say the “L word,” I finally managed only three of the letters…
Disaster-proofing Your Habitat For Special Guests
Excerpt:
I might own a book called “Stop Obsessing! How to Overcome Your Compulsions”. There may be some CDs in my collection by Mariah Carey. I own various expired prescription rash medications and a jar of Jolen Cream Bleach. I have the entire series of “Fat Blaster Plus” home workout videos…
