If one more mom tells me, “Go to the movies now, because after you have the baby, you’ll never get to go to the movies again,” or “Go on a trip now, because once you have the baby, you’ll never leave town again,” or “Have a date night now, because you will never see your husband again,” I am going to punch her right in her tired, defeated face.
Hey, how about you shut your rude, projecting, bitter soup coolers and let me be? [...]
I don’t want to say I got the hard sell on having a CVS test, but when I went to my mandatory pre-test genetic counseling session, it felt a little like being on a used car lot on the last day of the month taking a recession test drive with a salesman one vehicle short of his quota.
In essence, he was asking, “What’s it going to take to get you into these stirrups?”
Why Exploiting My Baby Seems Like a Good Idea
Like it’s so special having a baby. Britney Spears did it twice, so there you go.
Yet, we’ve all seen these spooky, lost smother mothers with their sippy cups full of self-absorption and their non-stop, mind-numbing prattle about the relative merits of organic baby food. These are the souls who update their Facebook status to reflect little Jackson’s latest bowel movement. This is not okay. This is haunting[...]
Author’s Note: I had no idea when I was writing this piece that I was already pregnant, probably just a few weeks. Because ultrasounds have gotten so precise, it now seems that I got pregnant on New Year’s Eve. It was a romantic evening as I recall; my husband and I rented a documentary on [...]
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