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Stop and Smell the Acetone

It doesn’t matter if the brick red polish on my fingernails is so chipped I look like Courtney Love coming off a bender. No, I mean, it deeply, truly does not matter. And I really believed it mattered. The sight of my jacked up hands on the steering wheel made me slightly tempted to veer [...]

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On Second Thought

Even after 19 months as a mother, it’s not unusual for me to notice the car seat in my rearview mirror and for just a second think what is that doing there and whose car am I driving? The gauzy vision of giving birth and instantaneously becoming a heavenly, patient, luminescent creature who instinctively knows [...]

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Want to Feel Isolated? Try Social Networking

On Facebook, “ladies night out” never ends with you getting cornered by a former Arizona State sorority girl who is two mojitos past dullard. On Facebook, the valet doesn’t lose your dirty Honda for twenty minutes while you calculate how much sleep you’ll get if there’s no traffic on the way home. On Facebook, it’s [...]

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The World’s Fattest Toddler: I’m Not Worried

Not making fun. Bless his heart.   Step aside, infamous Indonesian smoking baby, there’s a new gross-you-out and get-you-incensed Internet sensation in town. It’s the obese Chinese toddler! Perhaps you have seen photos of Lu Hao, a 132-pound 3-year-old who eats three bowls of rice at a time and refuses to walk to school. It’s [...]

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