Archive | June, 2011

My Family is Crazier Than Your Family. No, Really.

When people talk about their “crazy” families, it really brings out my competitive nature. Unless one uncle shot himself in the head and one aunt suffocated herself with a plastic bag per the instructions in a paperback version of “Final Exit,” your people just aren’t that crazy. Oh, and don’t forget my great aunt Rose, [...]

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Sharing the Shame

Parental shame is a two-way street, and my kid is already pedaling down it — in the pink tricycle he insisted we buy him. Will I embarrass my son? Sure. That’s a given. But that dude is going to shame me, too. Enough worrying about all I have done and will do to make him [...]

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Stop and Smell the Acetone

It doesn’t matter if the brick red polish on my fingernails is so chipped I look like Courtney Love coming off a bender. No, I mean, it deeply, truly does not matter. And I really believed it mattered. The sight of my jacked up hands on the steering wheel made me slightly tempted to veer [...]

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