At least I didn't take one of these.
I was full of pronouncements before I had this baby.
While new moms seemed to whine incessantly about not having time to shower, in a triumph of will and excellent planning, I was going to be the impeccably groomed mother of a newborn. I would make time for blow-outs and pedicures and basic hygiene, because I’m vain, own 17 tubes of lip gloss, refuse to wear too-tight Juicy Couture sweat pants and be all sacrifice-y and bland.
Cut to me sitting around in my own filth with breast milk stains on my husband’s giant plaid shirt, spit-up on my jeans and hair so dirty that when I finally went to the salon, the hairdresser asked me, with more genuine curiosity than disdain, “How long has it been since you’ve washed your hair?”
“Maybe four days?” I lied, before playing the new mom card. And there I was, in that second, manifesting the cliché and flying right in the puffy face of my own naïve declaration. On top of which, I had to ask the hairdresser to hurry it up, the sitter was waiting. The sitter was waiting. This is my life now. I’m this person.
It’s not unusual for me to take a hooker shower in front of the bathroom sink with a couple of baby wipes and almost no shame.
Like I said, I made a lot of pronouncements.
I also proclaimed I would never be one of those moms who has entire conversations about my child’s poop. So, last night I Googled “green poop” on my iPhone while nursing and have now had lengthy conversations with several moms about the causes and potential dangers of green poop. (Just so you know, poop is only concerning if it’s white, black or red, according to Babycenter.com.)
Now, I get it, I get the poop talk. As a new mom, I’m just trying to do right by Buster and he is very limited in his modes of communication. At ten weeks old, he has to let his poop do the talking. We have even photographed the green poop, lest our idea of green and our pediatrician’s differ. Mint green? Forest green? Mossy green? Let’s break out or camera and show you the exact hue. On my camera, there is more than one picture of my child’s poop. This is my life now. I’m this person.
To anyone who would listen, I announced that you would never catch me in any kind of Mommy and Me bullshit, or one of these New Moms support groups at the Pump Station. Now, I’m desperate to fit one into my schedule. If you have been a mother for even one day longer than I have, you know things I don’t and you have things to teach me. Whereas I used to assume I would never fit in with women who would populate these classes, that I would never be one of the stroller lugging mom masses who give a shit about the tensile strength of swaddle cloths or the most effective diaper cream, now I just want some more mom friends. These days, it’s not unusual for me to practically molest moms I see on the street, at restaurants, anywhere, peppering them with questions: Do you like that baby carrier? Does it hurt your back? How long did you breast feed? How long does your baby sleep? When did she start sleeping through the night? What exactly is a Sleep Sheep? Did your baby ever get a rash on her cheeks? What pediatrician do you go to?
I start feverishly taking notes about whatever sleep schedule DVD or book she says was the magical sleep maker. I buy it all.
When I get a mom in my clutches that seems to have her shit together, I don’t stop at the easy questions, I pry her for information about vaccines and anything else she seems open enough to reveal.
Just like the new kid in school who is trying to fit in, I’m starting to inch up to the mom crowd, to figure out what they wear and how they act and think. The clerk at the Pump Station told me that the Monday afternoon support group is empty, because all the moms go the Mommy and Me movie over at the Grove that day. Get there early on Tuesdays, she added, because it’s standing room only. And I realize, the moms travel in a flock, and maybe I’d be better off getting in formation than flying solo.
If I go where they go, maybe I can learn what they know. Part of me is still wary of joining, because I want to do everything my own way, but I’m starting to think my own way sucks and that there is an inherent wisdom to the flock. Besides, in every social situation I’ve ever been in, I always find the one other girl who feels like a complete outsider and we become friends, even if that bond is at least in part based on judging everyone else who seems happier and better adjusted.
What I’m saying is this: yes, I am sitting here in public (very public, at the Public Library, in fact, where a girl can look homeless and stink a little without bothering any of the registered sex offenders) wearing what is really kind of a nightgown with ankle socks and sneakers. This is my life now. I don’t even care. I’d rather not run into any ex-boyfriends, but essentially I don’t care.
I said a lot of things before.
I said I would never use a picture of my child as my profile photo anywhere, because I would rather lose my identity in more subtle ways. While I’ve resisted, my cell phone wallpaper photo is just Buster, no me, no dad, just the boy. That is a gateway baby photo, which can only lead to more serious use of the baby’s picture to stand in for my own. It’s happening.
Only stone cold bores and anti-intellectual twats spoke for their infants, imbuing them with all kinds of adult thoughts and feelings they could never, ever possess, the way a spinster announces that Mr. Fluffy loves “Friday Night Lights” but doesn’t care for the sound of the mailman’s voice. That would never be me, I said.
That was before my soul took a dip in maternal hormones and dried off only to find it appropriate to say, “Buster has a crush on you” or “Buster is flirting with you” or “Buster loves Jimmy Page guitar solos” or “Buster just can’t wait to see grandpa” or “Buster feels so dapper in his cardigan” or “Buster just loves his bath.” Like I know what the fuck that guy thinks or feels.
The fact is: I don’t show shit. I literally don’t know shit about shit.
I don’t know why poop is green or if it matters, I don’t know what goes on in my child’s mind, if anything, or how best to plan his nap and feeding schedule so he sleeps through the night, or when to stop swaddling him or what causes a baby rash or if I should really stop eating milk or nuts or soy or whether he really needs all of his vaccines on one day or if he’s fussier than other babies or cries more or sleeps less or if, in fact, he is totally average. Do I hold him too much or not enough? I just don’t know.
It’s like I met a guy, fell in love at first sight, flew to Vegas to get married that day, and woke up a couple of months later to find I was madly in love with a stranger.
I know I love the child, because when I listen to John Denver songs and look down at him I cry right onto his onesie with a feeling of euphoria I can only call narcotic (later I cry because my stomach still hurts from the C-section and I just want to put him down, but he needs to be rocked all the livelong day).
Yeah, I’m certain I love him, I just don’t know him, or if there is much to know. I’m not totally sure how to make him happy yet, or how best to care for him, so until I get that down, which may be never, all of my pronouncements are out the window.
When he smiles up at me in the morning, squirming on his changing table, it’s like a shot of morphine right to my heart. I spend the rest of the day chasing the dragon.
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Tags: Craziness, motherhood
Teresa,
I’ve listened to you for several years on Adam’s show and podcast. I always really liked your honesty. I’m so glad to read your honest blog about how you went back on a lot of your pronouncments before you had a baby because I honestly stopped listening to you and reading your site when I saw what it was all about. I think it’s becuause I had recently had a baby and I had terrible post partum depression and a lot of problems breastfeeding, and guilt when I started the hybrid breast-formula situation. I was in a horrible place even though I had this wonderful new baby! My life was what you were pronouncing yours would not be like and it made me feel even worse about myself. Like, look what I have become!!! I have become what others don’t want to be and what others make fun of!!! I lost friends over it. Heartless friends that I’m glad to be rid of. But, still hurts non-the-less. So, I’m glad to see that you have gone back on some of your pronouncements because I can now listen to you and read your blog again!! I just finished listening to your and Lynette’s first podcast and I love it! I went through all the stupid breast feeding guilt and torture when my daughter was your sons age. It was terrible. But, my daughter is now 15 months old, walking, starting to talk, eating regular food and milk. I honestly have to say that it gets SO much easier and I have forgotten almost all about the breast feeing guilt. Also, if I have another I will not put myself through that again. Just wanting you to know that it’s common and it does get better!!!
I’m 8 wks away from adding a baby into the world… and I must just say… I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
Girl, I’ve been eating crow since my oldest was born 6 years ago. I too made lots of pronouncements. I carry around a fracking bottle of A-1 now because of all the crow I must force down my gullet.
Enjoyed your post.
Cheers on the new podcast, the Parent Experiment. Well done!
Teresa! When will you be back on the Adam Carolla Podcast??
I miss the news!
Teresa,
I just got to know you from watching my TiVo’d Dr. Phil shows while I lay in bed sick as a dog. You appeared for (what I believe to be) the first time since Buster was born. You asked about “Baby Brain”. A few episodes before, you were on the streets asking people about names and on this episode, he never mentions his name!! I had to look you up to find out and … WaLA!! A WONDERFUL forum that has me spewing snot all over my laptop in hysterics! Thank you for making me feel better!!
To let you know, my firstborn was breech too. I ended up with a c-section despite 3+ attempts at a “version”. Very painful, if you didn’t try it. My next attempt at giving birth wound up to be waaayy too long for my taste, so I finally said “Let’s just do this” and the third time around, I just pulled out my calendar and asked “How’s June 3rd?”.
I, like you, want to know ALL!! Take it from a woman a little further down the road than you… despite the TON of books out there, you have to feel your way around being a Mom. I have discovered a few gems that I’d like to share with you. “On Becoming Babywise” – helps you to schedule your baby to sleep through the night very early (claims 6 weeks, but my experience was 7 weeks). “1-2-3 Magic” – helps you to discipline in a way that you won’t lose your mind and “The Explosive Child”. I have a son with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, but it’s valid for ANY child! One other wonderful book I have yet to master “Siblings Without Rivalry”. I’m still trying this one on, but the basis is one that MUST be tried!
I hope you got to read this because I truly enjoyed reading your blog and I hope that I can be a Mom that can help you along the Maze of Motherhood.
Congratulations on Nathaniel James!! xoxoxo
Wait until he’s three inches taller than you and tells you to go to hell. Then the only time you’ll love him is when he’s asleep. Or at school.
Hey T,
Just a note to tell say love you and BB on with Adam. Hope you will continue to push through the piles of crap constantly thrown at you in hopes you will quit.
I wont go through the list of all the reasons most of us enjoy what you bring to the table, pretty sure you remember my top ten list from way back. Still applies. BUT would like to add one more. Now you are a Mommy, have even more respect for you now. My first child was born at 32 and its been …well interesting being an older parent. Will say that, I continue to feel the Lord had a plan and I probably wouldn’t have been a very good parent 20yrs ago. Don’t feel like the lone ranger in the old and brittle dept.
Look forward to your next post. Not to worry. We will wait patiently (and not so patiently for those who follow more).
One more to the list that might help is a cool air humidifier. Have used it for all three and it works.
Take care
Lake
Your list spoke to me, I was the same girl. I have done (and I am sure will do) so many things that I said I would never! One thing I never thought I would see was my husband sucking our daughter’s spit out of his i-phone because her drool had caused it to stop producing sound. I bet he never thought he would do that either!
Hey T,
I was on the treadmill the other day and I looked up and saw your beautiful face on Dr. Phil. Normally I wouldn’t watch Dr. Phil, but enjoyed tuning in to see you. Keep up the good work!
Hey T. I just wanted to drop a line to you. I heard you on the Adam Coralla podcast the other day, I bet u never heard that b4, anyway…U were commenting on how upsetting it is to hear lil buster struggling with his cold and stuffy nose. Now I myself find it upsetting, but for a different reason as the stuffy nose keeps my baby up and therefore keeps me up, no good. Lol. But what I find works, and this was reccomended by the hospital my son was born in and by my pediatrician, is to drop a few drops of saline down the nostrils. By few I mean 1 or 2 drops per nostril. It may make him fuss initially but I guarantee that his nose will dry up and be flowing free and clear for him to get a good nights sleep. U can get saline from any drug store…cvs/walgreens/rite aid…even walmart is probably gonna have it. Or you can make your own. I use hot water so that it mixes well and the ingredients tend to lower the temp to a point that it wont burn the baby’s nose. 1 cup (8 oz) hot water, 1 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp baking soda. It works great. We have used it on all my kids, with no adverse effects, other then the initial fuss of “What the hell are u putting up my nose?!” but 10 secs later they are fine and then once they fall asleep they stay asleep because they can breathe. Hope that helps. Keep up the good work, love ur stuff.
Howdy T,
It was so, so great to hear you and BB on the ACP podcast this week (I’ll be brutally honest and say that I have periodically opted not to download Adam if I don’t care for the guest/s – but seeing the two-parter with you and dear Bryan was uber-groovy. So sorry to hear that Buster has suffered his first cold. No matter when they get sick for the first time it sucks – but a newborn with a stuffy nose is one of the most pathetic sounds/sights in human experience. I will chime in that I too check pretty much every three days or so to see if you’ve blessed the blog-o-sphere with your unique wit and perspective.
Ciao
Sheila
miss u loves. i check often to hear more about buster & batman, & the trials of your new mommydom.
I just came upon this blog and read it at just the right time. I have a 13 month old daughter and a bad attitude about mommy & me groups. I joined a very trendy one, but just couldn’t muster the energy to make friends with the other moms. I have my friends who I adore. Why acquire more? I don’t know why there has to be a whole dating atmosphere to being a mother. So here we are months later and the poor girl has no friends ’cause I didn’t want to suck it up and put myself out there. I have zero mommy mojo and am now trying to find the perfect pick up line in hopes that one of these women I encounter will want to be my friend…so that my daughter can be their kid’s friend. Err.
T,
I am impatiently waiting for your next post! Though with a 2-month old baby sleeping on my chest as I am typing this, I understand that everything becomes peripheral. I, too, said many things before she was born. Though I never had a baby myself, I almost looked down on people who co-slept with their infants. Fast forward to me today, and I will reluctantly admit that my little daughter has taken over my bed.
I am behind on my podcasts, but listened to the November The Adam Carolla Podcast with you and Bryan. I am also amazed that postpartum depression did not come prepackaged with my baby. Perhaps some of us paid our dues before and can enjoy this euphoria interrupted only by slight neuroses.
Congratulations on your baby, first of all.
Yes, it is getting difficult to find the time to post, although I hope to do so more often as Buster gets into a routine. Thanks for bearing with me.
One dream I had about motherhood is that it would make me less of a perfectionist, and that has happened, so hopefully soon I won’t mind slapping together some highly imperfect, poorly edited copy and posting it here.
So grateful to you and others who read and post. I’ve learned more from comments on my blog than from my doctor and a dozen baby books combined. Moms and dads just know shit.
Love your blog, I totally relate, especially on this topic. Before I would get so peeved at people putting their kids’ pictures as profile pictures and swore I would never do that, and then out of the blue, while I was taking a picture of the little one, I thought “wow, that would be a great profile picture!”. I’ve stopped resisting, its easier to just go with the flow..
Hi T
More blog please.
Thank you
btw, I forgot to mention. I had her on Thanksgiving Day. I was in labor FOREVER! Thank God for drugs. I literally had a turkey, (9lbs, 7oz). And yes, I pushed her out, but wouldn’t have been able to do it alone without out the help of what my husband likes to call bbq tongs.
Teresa, I totally feel you. I have over 17 tubes of lipsticks and glosses. Almost never have time for a nap and look like crap most days. I swore I would never talk about baby poop and now I talk about poop all the freakin’ time. Did she poop today? Why is her poop turning green? Why is her poop getting thicker? Is her poop normal? Blah, blah, blah. I have started to talk about baby crap all the time. People used to drive me nuts on myspace and facebook with their kids pictures as their profile picture. I used to think, why the hell do you feel the need to slap up your kids freakin’ picture up there and all over your page? I don’t give a damn about your kids. Well just take a wild guess at what I’ve done…Same thing with the cell phone…..I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve become “one of them” who I always swore I’d never be and I don’t mind it at all. Who knew I could fall in love with such a little thing that’s only mission at this time is to poop, cry, eat, and sleep all day? Today was the first day she smiled big and started to laugh for the first time. She melted my heart and then…………she cried, lol.
From one mom to another check out this site I found. It’s really awesome. I bought the little hershey squirt some CDs from there. Who know you could buy a Metallica CD for a baby? http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com
hello! i’m a new reader to your blog (and by the by, am totally enamored with and amused by your writing!) as a fellow first-time mama, may i please offer a few nuggets of unsolicited advice?:
IT ALL GETS EASIER. i promise! little man will get onto a schedule one way or another; whether you’re driven to the brink of insanity first is another story entirely. yes, your hair will most likely remain more neglected than ever before in your adult life, but that’s what bobby pins and good styling products were made for! and besides, cute babies are SO MUCH better than cute hair anyway…
take it easy on yourself. pamper when you can. don’t be shy about snapping a million photos. record little dude doing nothing but laying there and making sweet little infant noises – those are such precious times, such fleeting times! i sometimes felt silly about chronicling my tiny magoo’s every move, and sometimes i held back, thinking i was going overboard. now i wish i hadn’t hesitated to capture as much as humanly possible. they really do get so big so quickly!
give yourself a LOT of credit! you made a whole, entire, beautiful HUMAN! try not to let yourself have any guilt over things that might end up different than what you had so thoughtfully planned – crossing over that great big ‘motherhood’ line in the sand means surrendering yourself into a world of unknowns. breathe. laugh. play and love that little one – that’s what truly matters.
hope you’re enjoying a wonderful beginning to this new year! glad to have found ya on the big wide web. take care, lady! cheers!
Teresa – it’s April Dawn! (Well, formerlyAprilDawn now.) Hopefully, you remember from when we did Fiddler together a long…long time ago. My mom saw you were going to be on Dr. Phil today so I’m watching it now. You look great, and congrats on the baby!
Saw you on Dr Phil today while I was trying to find some peace from my 2 kids. You look great and are still just as funny as I remember on ACS. Glad to see someone blogging honestly about motherhood. I’ve been through it twice now but sitll admit I know know shit. Keep it up!
Oh, and by the way – we stopped swaddling when she “got” the back to tummy thing mastered. She slept in her swing for the first 3 weeks then in our bed, swaddled & in a sleep positioner until about 4 months (still in the swing for naps). We moved her into her own crib at 4 months without a swaddle but she would only take 30 minute naps on her back. Once she could roll to her tummy, her naps got longer and we stopped swaddling her at night. We haven’t looked back – it’s great! I thought I’d be swaddling a 2-year-old! I could go on… I feel like I’ve learned a lifetime worth of stuff (and you will, too!). The important thing is to do what you think is best for you and your baby and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s wrong.
Hey T!
Love your blog. I’m a first-time mom to a beautiful baby girl named Amelia. She’s 6 months old now. She gets the red rash on her cheeks all of the time. For her, it was because her drool would get on her cheeks and eat away at her skin. Yummy, huh? The ped said Vaseline and it has worked great.
The green poop could be because your sweet little boy isn’t getting enough hind milk. If you make sure that when he nurses he drains your breast completely then that should help! I didn’t have a flippin’ clue what hind milk even was until I became a mom. It’s the fatty milk that comes from behind the foremilk. If you want to see it, just pump for 10-15 minutes until your breast is drained then stick the milk in the fridge. The hind milk turns white and rises to the top. Pretty sweet science experiment.
You can’t hold your baby too much during the first few months! Cuddle him like crazy! Support is important. I’m on a fertility forum because I used the Fertility Awareness Method to get pregnant and the support on the site I use is amazing. I don’t want to promote or anything but if you want to know the site, I’m happy to share it or the link is on my blog site.
Have you heard of the Itzbeen timer? Look it up – it’s so great for the first few months when you have “Mommy Brain” and can’t remember when you last fed and changed your baby! We LOVE ours.
Best of luck!! Isn’t being a mom amazing?
Sincerely,
Jamie
t.
what’s up girl. keep up your great work. been listening to you and aceman for years and it is always good. i’ve enjoyed your blog too, i have a 20 month old boy. i will say the fun doesn’t start til about 18 months.
just wanted to say thanks.
ben
Hey Teresa,
As one of the few guys to post here, I must say that I love your writing and am always delighted to hear you on Adam’s podcast. I swore I would not be a parent who gives advice to other new parents – all kids are different, after all. I can hear the strain and effort in you voice since Buster came along, and it’s SO familiar, because my wife had the same tone of voice.
So, I humbly offer two pieces of advice:
1. May not seem like it now, but it goes by so fast. My boys are 8 and 6 and it seems like just yesterday they popped out. Be in the moment and realize you will look back wistfully someday (soon).
2. Hold on to your sense of humour – you’re one of the funniest chicks I know so you already have a head start. Hope that husband of yours makes you laugh!
Affectionately,
Jim
OMG
That picture on the left is SO gay.
T is way too cool for that. Geesh.
Love hearing from you Teresa. I’m glad you decided to keep writing post baby. You are a terrific writer and love you on the air. This truely is one of the most enjoyable baby blogs out there. I will share this with my fellow mom community. Keep up the great work.
Oh how misery loves company!!!! I love that you are not posting regularly!!! I am a mom of 3. they are 16, 13, and 9. I have had babies during the entire blogging age and I always thought “what a luxury to have time to sit and write and ponder”. T, now you are in my club!!! Welcome!!! No more going out on a whim, by yourself, feeling clean or looking good!!!! The rewards are so worth it but we had babies, not lobotomies!!! We still miss the simple, easy life.
xoxo, L
I hope these posts will be the basis for a book, which I’m sure, many new parents would find funny, informative and reassuring. I love your appearances on Adam’s podcasts and miss the show – it was so good. I’m glad your so happy.
T,
Loved this post the best to date. I started reading it when I first heard you on Ace Mans Podcast & everything from the hair to the worry about face rash, I love about you and your experience with the new baby boy. I have two, one who is 3, Adam, and William who is 18 months. We are expecting number 3, Thomas, in one more month.
This post is the best of a new mom! Just like my wife, you are beautiful no matter what, congrats to the mom and dad. You are awesome for sharing all of this with us. It makes me remember the time we brought my oldest home from the hospital. Just awesome!
I hope someone makes you an offer to turn your blog into a book, it’d be a best-seller!!!
L
Do what my friend did: shower with them until they’re old enough to ask, “Mommy, what’s that?”
All sounds normal to me (and made me chuckle numerous times) except for the green poop. I remember not so long ago being just as obsessed with poop color- my son is now two-and-a-half, number two is in the oven- and staring at it for months and months. Just know that it can signify a dairy and/or soy allergy which, once solved, alleviates a tremendous amount of mommy anxiety. Only bummer is giving it up for yourself if you are breastfeeding. But it’s a great way to lose the baby fat. Oh, what our mothers never could have told us…
Beautiful post. The only advice I can give is 1) do what you can live with (ie. how much to hold or not hold, breast feed etc.) because at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with it 2) the face rash is completely normal and so is the green poop 3) find Moms who understand your sense of humor. Nothing is worse than making a joke to another mom and having her be horrified at your remark. Plus anyone who can help you laugh when all you want to do is cry is priceless.
Teresa, i love this entry. I have three children of my own and I don’t know the words to describe how much i love and adore them. it is obvious that your son means the world to you. i am very happy for you and i wish you, your son, and your husuband (and any siblings that happen to join buster in the future) all the health and happiness in the world. take care.
Sincerely,
Courtney
You are doing awesome, T. This is the learning curve about having kids, and you’re doing everything right. My new one is 4 months old, and it gets much easier as time goes along, and they adjust to life, and you adjust to them. And then you start to trust that you’re making the right decisions – not 100% of the time, but enough of the time that buster’s becoming well adjusted and happy. I can also confirm that this is much easier the second time around.
One note about meeting other moms… I didn’t really find my “mom-group” until my daughter was almost 2. And i met a few moms in a “mini-muscles” class, and after a few months, they invited me out to lunch, and then I just became part of the group (which includes 8 of us). It takes time, but it’s worth finding where you belong and which women are really your style. You’ll figure it out. If you just take Buster to the park, look for other strollers and just park and make conversation. It works – we’re all looking for the right “fit” with other moms, too.
Trust yourself. Do what feels right. You can’t break him – he’ll be fine.
I hope you and your family are having a great “first” Hanukkah together.
ohhhh gurl your posts warm the cockles of my heart. i love this blog, i truly do.
Hello T, luv your blog and luv you and Blad Brian on Adam’s podcast. I just wanted to tell you I saw your Chanukah special on PBS. Fran Dresher hosted it and you were on the segment about crafts. I was wondering when that was filmed? Also I knew all the words to the Chanukah song even though I’m a gentile. They taught it in the school I went to as a child(I’m 48 now).
It is like the nightgown thing with the socks and tennis shoes is a required uniform – I died laughing when my sister read that part aloud to me. (We read your blog off her iphone in the parking lot of BIG LOTS after I snuck out, leaving my baby with my husband) So funny, you do speak for many of us and there are probably tons of us out there who relate, empathize and think “you said it girl!!!”
Happy 1st Hanukkah T and Boy! This is my daughters second, and we are already teaching her the prayer with lighting the menorah each night. I think she could live off bagels and latkies if she had it her way…lots of love!!
xox
have you gotten a sling? the baby pouch at The Pump Station saved the day for me. I couldn’t put my baby down for a second for the first two months! Not sure if you can wear a sling after a c-section but maybe when you totally heal.
Got an Ergo at the Pump Station because it would be easier for me to get an interview with Tiger Woods than to figure out that damn Moby wrap. Ergo works well. He cries for the first minute or so before he remembers he likes it in there. I just want to know at what age babies can amuse themselves? All of this holding and rocking is taking a toll. This is one problem with having kids in your 30s. I’m too old and brittle.
Love the latest blog…you speak for so many of us. Of course, you are much funnier than we are.
Had my first baby last November at age 37…I feel your pain. Now that he’s playing with toys more, I find my back sore from sitting on the floor with him. Still, it’s the best part of my day.
As for amusing themselves, it started to happen (in small doses) for our little guy around 12 weeks. Do you have one of those activity mats where he can swat at brightly colored crap? Brightly colored crap that lights up and plays music was even better. We bought a lot of batteries for the light up musical star that went with ours, but he loved it. Also, if you don’t have one, I loved the Bumbo Baby Seat. It was like having an extra pair of hands. Anderson would sit on the counter in his seat (which the box says not to do, but seriously, where was he going to go?) while I washed bottles or cooked…or ate cookie dough straight from the fridge.
Enjoy your little guy. We celebrated our baby’s first birthday a few weeks ago and I burst into tears (in a good way). Those beginning months seem endless when you are in the trenches, but it really does go quickly.
I listened to you on the show through your pregnancy and I just knew that once you had that baby your opinions would change. You just can’t help it. I have 3 kids, you feel the same about all of them and trust me, time flies. Just enjoy your time with the little guy. And just follow your own instincts. Don’t worry about what anyone else says. You are smart and you love your baby. He will turn out just fine.
I told myself after 1yr I would refer to my child as a 1yr old. NOPE he is 17mos. Now I know why. I hope I can stop this at 2yrs old.
I think it’s time for your second. That’s when all the preconceived thoughts really go out the door. It’s great.
I had my little Buster on October 9, and I feel that you are speaking for me in this post. I do alll those things I found so damn annoying before the boy. Including giving his age in weeks. My profile picture is him and we have a blog set up in his honor in which he writes the posts. So sue me. I love the little buggar, and you are 100% correct. It changes absolutely everything about you. (I never thought that I would be sleeping with a bra on…) Anyway, I probably wear one or two outfits a week, and am usually covered in spit-up. In fact, my husband came up to me recently because I was holding the boy. He looked at me and said, “you stink! Take a shower.” My, how things have changed. And, as you said, I just don’t care.
I am trying SO hard not to say “I’ll never” because I think we ALL do this, and this happens to all of us. I think, when the baby come out of your body, your brain is injected with some sort of personality sucking alien, that changes everything about you. Not that it’s bad, just that it happens
There is a fine line between becoming your child’s mother and being his mother. Learn him, get the help, but retain yourself along the way. Nightgowns at the library and all
Yeah. I make fun of the people who use their kids photos as their Facebook profile pic. Its great that these people love their kids (as do I), but I know you aren’t your kid. If I wanted to look at your kid, I would look through your pics – FB friend.
too true, too funny. pre-baby i watched in horror as friends of mine turned into zombie moms. and then I became one.
although at my santa monica mommy group there were some new moms that seemed to be very put together right away..i would stare at them in awe the whole class and not even pay attention to what the group leader was talking about!
worth waiting for your blog entry!
T, I love your posts, and I love hearing your podcasts with Adam.
This post is a great description of how crazy and immediate the change is when you go from being a your own person to being someone’s mom.
The new momness eventually fades, though, and one day you might have a cool smile for some other new mommy. You’ll know the secrets, and she’ll be a clueless mess.
I have no doubt that you will find your groove and get the balance that is so important to parenthood. For the first months and even years, it is all about the baby, the baby, the baby. But then your breasts become your own and your nights are finally uninterrupted (at least most of the time), and you become your own person again. That is a good place to be in.
Yes, kids change your existence and your foundation and you can never go back to the prechild T, but what I am trying to say is that I see lots of parents who have no lives outside of their children. Don’t be one of them because they are freaking annoying!
Sleep Sheep is the name of my band.