My Baby is All Ass-Backward

Who is this dude, Frank Breech?

Well, it looks like my baby is what they call frank breech. Like three to four percent of all babies, he is bottom down, head up. A C-section is already on the books for eight days from today.

However, experts say one way to coax the baby’s head down so he can safely dive out vaginally is to place headphones inside mom’s pants toward her pubic bone and play music for ten minutes, 6-8 times a day. That’s right, the right song played near my girl parts can save me a major surgery and an unsightly scar.

This begs the obvious question, what music would lure a baby’s head down so he can be born the old-fashioned way?

Here are some suggestions I’ve gotten via Twitter, which I think are pretty genius:

“Into the Great Wide Open” by Tom Petty

“Down in the Hole” by the Rolling Stones

“Jump Around” by House of Pain

“Follow You Down” by The Gin Blossoms

“Hold On, I’m Coming” by Sam and Dave

“Head On” by the Pixies

“Heading Out to the Highway” by Judas Priest

“Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

“Upside Down” by Diana Ross

“We Gotta Get Out of this Place” by the Animals

“Turn! Turn! Turn!” by The Byrds

In short, my V needs a DJ ‘cause the baby needs to spin. Whaddya got?

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81 Responses to “My Baby is All Ass-Backward”

  1. Carly Burt
    December 14, 2009 at 11:03 am #

    I’ll probably go see one just to see if I should avoid working out. I don’t trust them to fix me up, but I can definitely trust them to let me know what I need to avoid.

  2. shiduri
    October 22, 2009 at 1:16 am #

    I love this post. (and your blog in general.)

    Little Homie is breech, and I referenced your idea (and your blog) in my recent blog entry…

    Feel free to read it :)

    My Va-Jay-Jay Needs a DJ!

    s.

  3. Ian
    September 24, 2009 at 3:03 pm #

    I have a friend who had this problem and had heard that placing something cold near the baby’s head would make her turn around. With low expectations, she tried it by placing a bag of frozen peas on top of her belly and it worked! The baby turned around.

    Good luck with everything!

  4. Robert
    September 24, 2009 at 12:42 am #

    T, I heard ‘Home On the Range’ when young and have been seeking wide open spaces ever since.

  5. All Torn Up
    September 23, 2009 at 5:46 pm #

    ~T,
    Nothing like a good ol’ fashion turning. My son came out arm first like Superman. The doc decided that he could SHOVE, errr place, my son’s arm back at his side. Thank God for the epidural!

    No matter which delivery method is used for you, I know you’ll be a great mom! I wish you the best!!

    P.S. The doctor was successful and thanks to my sister-in-law I have pictures and one hell of a story about how the doctor was “elbow deep”. Ha!

  6. Kelli
    September 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    How about a children’s song.

    “Down, down, baby! Down, down, the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet, baby. Sweet, sweet, don’t let me go. Shimmy, shimmy cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy ride…”

  7. Brad in Ohio
    September 21, 2009 at 2:06 pm #

    “Livin’ Thing” by Electric Light Orchestra.

    Good luck, T.

  8. Tricia
    September 20, 2009 at 8:00 pm #

    Flip, Flop And Fly – Jerry Lee Lewis

  9. B
    September 20, 2009 at 5:06 pm #

    Ok… I had a c-section (emergency) 2 weeks ago. On the plus side, it all went very fast. Actually I had gone into labor and was 10 cm dilated when they brought me to the operating room , but the baby’s heartrate had dropped and we couldn’t take the chance to go natural. On the downside, don;t let anyone tell you the recovery is fun. The hard part is that you have a hard time getting up and down, especially out of bed to get the baby in the middle of the night every 2 hours. Pain meds helped for sure but after a week, I needed my wits about me so I could take care of the baby :) No regrets on the c-section (I had the choice to go natural once her heart rate stabilized – after the full paralyzation through the Epi but I said no). I was happy to have a quick delivery and no horror stories of a 48 hour labor. Just sucks not being able to get up and not being able to get around or drive for a couple of weeks. Oh .. wait.. one other thing, I had the most freakish swelling in my feet from all of the fluids they gave me.. I had never seen anything like it!!!

  10. Jennifer L.
    September 19, 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    Hi,

    There are medical ways you can get your baby to turn around. My massage therapist who had a home birth was told she needed a c-section. That was out of the question for her so she found a doctor who had experience with turning breech babies around. She said he used a muscle relaxant in order to turn her baby. She delivered at home with a midwife a few days later. It’s called “external cephalic version”.

    LOVE your blog, by the way. I’m 7 weeks pregnant and it gives me a lot of comfort to read your blog. I have been a fan of yours for a long time now and am so thrilled for you! I’m sending good thoughts your way and can’t wait to hear more updates!

  11. Donna from Seattle
    September 19, 2009 at 9:24 pm #

    Hi T, Just wanted to let you know I had a breech baby and went into labor before my scheduled C section. The scar was no big deal because it was low and the healing time was pretty quick. Not real painful. I would definitely have another without a second thought. I had really thought the baby was going to be a girl but turned out I had a boy. I can say that I am sooo happy to have a boy- especially since all my friends have girls and he has been so much easier. Motherhood has been the best experience of my life (not always easy but so rewarding). Best wishes to you and your new family.

  12. Erica
    September 19, 2009 at 12:33 am #

    “Here comes the sun” by George Harrison
    “Hot child in the city” by Nick Gilder
    “Hold your head up” by Argent
    “Hello it’s me” by Todd Rudgren

  13. Craig
    September 18, 2009 at 11:15 pm #

    As you are now unfortunately out of work, Teresa, I would like to say we, your readers, should all be so generous as to chip in to send to you Six Flags for a day to see if we can shake that baby like a British nanny until it turns upside down; however, I’m sure at this point there’s no chance in hell you’d be able to sneak past the “you must be under this wide” sign to get on any of the good rides. Therefore, I can only wish the best of luck to you, your husband, and the bundle of genes currently awaiting delivery in your womb. Perhaps by the time you’re ready to spit out that second baby you want so badly, Ace will have developed some type of human paint shaker machine that can turn an unruly seed on its head in the event that this happens again.

    All the best!

  14. April
    September 18, 2009 at 8:58 pm #

    Hi Teresa,

    My midwife recently had a client whose baby was breech-vertex-breech-vertex, up to and including the day of her delivery. He eventually turned vertex and she birthed naturally.

    Is it possible for you to wait for your labor to start on its own, and then use the C-section option if he remains breech during labor?

    • Teresa Strasser
      September 18, 2009 at 10:01 pm #

      Yep. That is pretty much what we’re going as of now. I’m having a couple of contractions, nothing major, and trying to hold out until my scheduled C-Section next Thursday. However, if I don’t make it and real labor kicks in, that just means I call in my OB and ruin her weekend or evening with my dilated cervix.

      • Rory
        September 18, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

        Just out of curiosity, why are they scheduling it a week early? (Maybe you answered this earlier…)

        I think someone might have said it already, but in the end, it doesn’t matter how the baby arrives, only that he did.

        It’s funny, everyone tells you about how they forgot the pain afterward (labor or c-section). I have to say, I remember the whole event clearly (labor and c-section). I remember not being particularly happy, I remember how I felt, but despite that I don’t particularly have unpleasant memories of the whole thing. Weird.

  15. Johanna
    September 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm #

    How about “Round Round Baby Right Round,” or “You’ve Got Me Spinning”?

  16. Mike I
    September 18, 2009 at 2:34 pm #

    T, Don’t worry about the scar!! My wife had a C-section and the scar is completely covered by the natural fold of your skin and your pubic hair. I never noticed it once!

    • Emily
      September 19, 2009 at 12:42 pm #

      I agree with you Mike I,

      T, I just had an emergency C-section on sept 6th after contracting for 2 days straight (first baby) and the scar is soooo not that bad. I’m actually kind of proud of it :) Good Luck!!!!

      • Vic_T
        September 21, 2009 at 11:41 pm #

        I also agree! The C-Section scar is SO tiny – you’re amazed a baby can fit through there! I wore a teeny bikini in Hawaii this past summer and must say I looked great! hehe

  17. Michael
    September 18, 2009 at 10:55 am #

    Same story for my wife a scant three months ago. Now we have a beautiful and healthy little daughter and my wife has a scar that is barely visible now.

    We tried music, we tried handstands, we tried the Ob/Gyn turning the baby. Generally speaking (after talking to some doctor friends of mine) if it’s late in the pregnancy, if it’s this late in the pregnancy it’s normally not going to turn. All of our anxiety turned out to be much ado about nothing and it was a completely amazing experience. Best of luck!

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