Are Breast Feeding Classes For Boobs?
No worse than drinking formula.
Here’s what you need to know about exclusively breast fed babies: they can levitate.
That’s what I learned last night during a three-hour breast-feeding class.
They also have x-ray vision, are immune to disease, are more likely to win Nobel Prizes, recycle, live meaningful lives, understand James Joyce, love fully, donate to NPR pledge drives, stop to help distressed motorists, appreciate Rachmaninoff, have high credit scores and get appointed to important government posts. Oh, and breastfed babies live forever. The science on that isn’t totally in yet, but better safe than sorry.
Moreover, if you breast feed, the baby weight will melt off of you. You will evade reproductive cancers. The release of feel-good hormone oxytocin when your baby is “at your breast” will saturate your system with “delicious” feelings of attachment and contentment such as you have never experienced before. Mothers who miss out on this mommy morphine are likely to leave their babies in the middle of the road to be pecked at by turkey vultures.
Okay, that’s not totally true. Some mothers who skip this crucial biological bonding experience will simply leave their child at a fire station with $5, a bottle of formula and half a pack of Benson & Hedges Menthol Ultra Lights in a box.
A room full of us pregnant women, shifting around in uncomfortable plastic chairs and gnawing on free cookies with our husbands, were also given a stern warning: Never ever let the baby out of your sight at the hospital once it is born.
Some sleepy, overworked, well-meaning but ultimately evil nurse is going to hear it cry and give it … well, what might as well be a cocktail of lead paint, asbestos juice and Southern Comfort: FORMULA. That’s right, your precious baby’s ability to be exclusively fed at your breast, the way god and Mother Nature intended, will be forever compromised if you don’t step up with some major vagina power and tell the nurses they are NOT taking your baby out of your sight for one single second at the hospital. Once that baby gets away from you and into the hospital nursery, it’s a free for all and you can kiss your dreams of attending your child’s inauguration goodbye. Once it gets a taste of that plastic nipple and guzzles away at that easy access plastic bottle filled with borderline lethal formula, forget that child loving you, crafting you handmade cards or even sitting in your lap. If you didn’t see the movie “Nell,” you are about to live it with your jacked up, detached, sickly child.
We also learned some of the subtle differences between bottle and breast fed babies.
For one thing, babies who are bottle fed stink. They smell foul. As for breastfed tykes, their shit literally doesn’t stink, though it may be an alarming shade of black for a few days before it goes Mustard yellow.
That’s what I learned in my breast-feeding class.
On the other hand, outside of the minty green and pastel pink confines of the breast-feeding store, tucked away in an urban strip mall in East Los Angeles, in the real mom world, some of my girlfriends just didn’t take to breastfeeding. Their kids seem fine. From my unscientific sampling of moms I know who chose to bottle feed, I see no asthma, no allergies and no bonding problems with the babies. The moms lost the baby weight. I’m not sure if the kids are a ticking time bomb or if the moms are just enjoying a few years until the uterine cancer kicks in, but it seems unlikely.
So, how do you get a straight answer when everyone seems to have a horse in the breast-feeding race? Both sides seem to have massive agendas and neither appears all that interested in actual data, which makes it hard for us pregnant girls to truly understand our options. Women who chose not to breast feed need to believe they did the right thing; breast feeding advocates are unswervingly formula-intolerant.
Last night, our statuesque, red-haired, 50-something lactation consultant and teacher, impressed me with her massive knowledge of boobies and extreme comfort in discussing latching and leaking. However, when she told us about her own kids and mentioned how healthy the now-grown offspring are, she also added that one of them has a little bit of asthma, only when he runs. Wait a second, you mean this panacea doesn’t work for someone who was breastfed for two years?
“The doctors told us it would have been way, way worse if I hadn’t breast fed,” she explained.
Really?
Now that is some backward, bias data analysis if I’ve ever heard it. Look, the kid has respiratory problems and his mom is a lactation lady who did nothing but breastfeed him the “right” way for two years straight. That means one of her three children has asthma. How can these facts fit into the hypothesis that breast milk staves off breathing problems? Get our your logic shoehorn and let’s see what we can do.
I understand there was a time when women were essentially forced to bottle feed and shamed out of caring for their babies in a way that seems both natural and righteous.
There was a time when the hospital just told you what to do, yanked your baby away from you after birth and generally dismissed what we now understand to be the importance of skin-to-skin contact, etc. From where I sit, however, it seems the pendulum may have swung too far in the other direction, so that women for whom breastfeeding just doesn’t make sense or feel right are vilified as selfish, lazy, impatient baby haters. Somewhere between Little Ricky and Ricky Lake there is a more easy-going place.
Look, I’m going to give it a try, but if it doesn’t work out, or if perhaps I’m not the two-years of breast feeding kind of girl, I hope the milk of human kindness is also available in formula.
I just have to comment on this one. I am currently breastfeeding my second child, he is two months old. With my first I never took a bf class. I thought, what can be so hard about it? Boy, was I taken by surprise when my daughter didn’t latch right and I ended up with bleeding nipples. The thing that pissed me off is that the lactation nurses will tell you “it shouldn’t hurt to breastfeed.” That is simply not true!! For me the first few days were painful with both of my children. After that the nipples toughen up and it gets better. But then…there’s clogged ducts, mastitis, engorgement. What they don’t tell you is that breastfeeding takes a lot of patience and hard work, at first. After the first month or so it gets a lot easier. I breastfed my daughter for almost two years and it was wonderful. I won’t bother telling you how brilliant she is, I do think formula fed children can be brilliant as well! I guess I just want to convey that if you hang in there past the first month, you will be amazed at how nice it can be to bond with your baby in such a natural way. I highly recommend Lansinoh brand Lanolin, put it on after each feeding, it saved my life!
I also want to second the person who wrote about the Miracle Blanket. Swaddling is probably a whole different debate but I am telling you you must buy this. My son is 2 months old and he sleeps for six hours at night because he can’t get out of his swaddle.
IT’S FREE!!!
I decided to “try” it and it worked for both of my kids. I nursed for a year with both. I worked part time, so I pumped. I also wanted to make sure they would take a bottle so we could go out every so often. My daughter, healthy as a horse. My son got RSV at 2 months and has had multiple ear infections. So, whatever with the health stuff. Good luck and may the best nipple win!
Nothing specific to say, T, just wanted to give some love. Really enjoy reading your posts and hearing you on the podcast. Cheers to a super healthy fetus!
Don’t let the Boob Nazi’s bring you down!
Even though you feel the breastfeeiding class was totally funky, once that kid pops out, you may find some of the info helpful…
I was glad that I took the breastfeeding class…it helped me. I nursed both of my kids for 8 months each, but also gave them formula (Oh God NOOOOOOOOO….Not that Evil Concoction!) They both grew horns, but it looks good on them!
Good Luck T! You’ll do great!
I’m on Kristen’s team – I thnk my spawn look darling in their horns and little cloven feet – bejeebus who’d have EVER imagined so many people would feel perfectly fine telling you what to do with your own tits or anything that spewed forth from them. As for the kids themselves ??? by the time they get to be 15 they have so many things they could hate you for that what you fed them for a few months won’t even make the hit parade. Since I think it’s inappropriate and unhelpful to “advise” you what to do with your boobs (nice though they are …) I won’t hint about the ways in which I fed my kids other than to say that I did feed them everyday and apparently in a manner that sustained human growth without allowing them to be a childhood obesity statistic or a tragic teenage female eating disorder psycho-drama.
I think your approach to dismissing this as something you have fare more interesting neurotic concerns to burn your calories over. Hopefully Batman will figure out when to encourage you and when to just slam the bottle in Busters mouth and point you to a nearby spa for a full body massage and a class of Chardonnay.
or glass of Chardonnay – but a class full of Chardonnay has its own attraction. Perhaps it could be a whole academy – a Merlot seminar, a Jameson’s study hall, a Tequila lecture …
OK .. I clearly need to get back to work.
Hi Mommy-to-be,
Just an FYI – some babies have intolerances to formula, and some have intolerances to what you eat and then transmit through your breastmilk. What may look like unexplained “colic” could actually be an intolerant (or allergic) reaction to ingredients in the formula/breastmilk. The baby will scream and cry intermittently all day, esp in the evening. It’s not necessarily just nerves, or a biological need to cry, or whatever. Colic always has a reason behind it. Sometimes you can do something about it and IMHO, when you can do something, you should.
For whatever you choose to do in the breastmilk vs formula debate, just be aware of this possibility. My first daughter dealt with this and I was unaware, I just listened to her scream the first 3.5 months, and cried along with her. It caused me to go into postpartum depression.
For my second child, I read up and hoped she wouldn’t have the same problem. But she did, so I maintained a total elimination diet to avoid giving her tummy an upset. No dairy, no soy, no eggs, many others too; Dr Sears has a good link on this. It worked like a charm. But it took a lot of research and careful eating to do it.
Best of luck to you!
From the sounds of it, there is a few themes running through the comments.
Trust you own instincts and there is no right way to do it. I breast fed for 6 weeks, stopped knowing I had two weeks to dry up before I had to return to work. Now they have nursing or breast pumping rooms at work sites, not when I had my baby. It would have been in the woman’s rest room on the toilet. Ick! I used cloth diapers all day long, then put pampers on at night, so once she was sleeping through the night, a wet diaper was not waking her up. You do what is best for you & your baby, not what everyone says is best, and all of you will survive just fine.
My baby was born with a cleft palate and is unable to breastfeed. The lactation nurses were so intent on keeping my son from getting attached to a bottle nipple, that his cleft (which is internal and only of the soft palate) went unnoticed for five days, while the nurses tried tactic after crazy tactic to prevent the use of a bottle. Turns out he can ONLY feed from a specialized bottle made for babies with clefts! I pumped for weeks (but my milk dried up from stress), feeling that if I didn’t feed my baby breastmilk, all of the horrors listed above would happen to him! I still get looks of disapproval from doctors and other moms until I explain that I CAN’T breastfeed. Thank you so much for this post! Btw, here’s an article in The Atlantic that discusses from medical standpoint (in an entertaining manner) the fact that many breastfeeding claims are unfounded: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxmKRyLdBho
Really this whole breastfeeding thing is up to you. There shouldn’t be any shame in giving your straving baby formula or whipping your boob out in public to give to your straving baby(not a girls gone wild momment).
I did both ways of feeding with both of my kids. I found out with my first baby,my milk supply would drop down to nothing for the last feed of the night. So I got the formula out and guess what? My son slept through the night! Then 3 years later when I had my daughter the very first thing I did in the hospital was tell the nurse I would be doing both breast and formula feeds. Because I told them what I was going to do, there was no argument or BF Nazism! I breastfed (99% boob, 1% formula) both kids until they were 10 1/2 months and then I wanted my boobs back(and so did my hubbie)
You’ll be fine with either (or both) decisions you make. Trust your self because you are the baby’s Mother, not anyone else. Love your work.
Do what feels right, I love your insight! I was breast fed and I got Diabetes when I was three and now I am 27 with terrible thyroid problems! Just don’t be one of those parents that gives your kid soda in their baby bottle, that makes me sick!!
I was watching the finale of “17 and Pregnant” and Dr. Drew was talking about breast feeding but all he said was, “There are a lot of misconceptions about breast feeding,” and didn’t elaborate. I have been incredibly curious what his opinion is because Dr. Drew knows everything. Maybe he could offer some insight. I’m sure he isn’t too busy to enlighten your fans a bit Teresa
T, This made me laugh so hard..well as hard as i could laugh without waking the babies. I have 3 month old twins. I’ve done both methods. my friend who exclusively breastfeeds actually believes her kids poop doesn’t stink. i have first hand knowledge that she is wrong! it took me weeks to get over feeling guilty when i stopped breastfeeding. but to my amazement, everyone is still alive! take care!
Wow…the class you went to sounds seriously scary! First off, these breastfeeding people are all PSYCHOS….all of them. None of what they told you is even remotely truthful. I have a 4 year old daughter (and I am due with my second, a boy, any day now) and I can tell you that breastfeeding is the most painful, horrifying experience for new mothers. Seriously…IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It can be excrutiating for the mother and really scary for the baby if you are not happy. My daughter would NOT latch on and I kept trying because these BF NAZIS were trying to brainwash me. So finally after months of pumping and all that bullshit, I went to formula and MY GOD it was wonderful!!!!
My daughter at 4 years old is reading and writing at a first grade level. She is in the 90% for height and 50% for weight. She is so smart and beautiful. I have plenty of friends who breastfed for a year and their kids are not even close to my daughter in intelligence. In fact, most of them are brats that are uncomfortable to be around.
Listen, give it a try, and if it feels right and the baby is happy then go for it. But do NOT let anyone force you into it!! Your baby will be miserable and so will you…it is a serious PPD trigger.
Oh and PS…with the bottle, your friggin husband can get off his butt and help with the billions of 2-4AM feedings!!!!!
A mother’s bragging is worth two cents.
Yikes…
Yes, breastfeeding did hurt for the first 2-3 weeks. IMHO that’s normal. My nipples bled and scabbed up and eventually were ready to actually do their job. Meantime we just dealt with it. Actually leaving some breastmilk on the nipple was the fastest way to heal them.
My goal was to try to breastfeed exclusively for 3 months or so. By the time we got there with our first, it was so easy (and free, and without need to lug supplies), I never once thought about formula after that, except that it seemed inferior. It is a substitute, after all. I wanted to give my little ones what they were built to have.
No, a mother’s bragging is NOT worth two cents.
It’s boring. zzz zzzz
I zone out when people brag about their kids or tak about their labor.
Franki – probably because you are a man and don’t have to give birth.
No probably because I’ve always felt so bored by the birthing subject all my life.
And I get sick and tired of people bragging about their kids.
No man here!
LOL asthma. My kid breastfed for 18 months, never had any shots except for BCG, and STILL got asthma! It’s genetic. Breastfeeding is tough but it’s free and it’s the best thing you can do for your baby. Oh you’ve heard of Boob Nazis. Wait till you read the online discussion about breastfeeding in public
Even without the crazy eyes, that baby is still UGLY
Love the blog Teresa! I have been a fan since While You Were Out. I love Adams podcast, especially when you are on it. As far as breastfeeding goes, it’s a personal choice. Mommy and baby are the only ones who get to input on what to do. I have 3 beautiful children. My first I tried to breastfeed and just didn’t produce enough milk, so I stopped after 2 months and went to formula, which she did great on as soon as I found the right one. She turned out to be lactose intolerant, so soy formula it was. My second, I tried, but he threw everything up for the first 6 months of his life. He also turned out to be lactose intolerant. By the time I had my third child, I was fed up with the attempts at breastfeeding, so I decided not to even try. My oldest is 9, she is supposed to be in 4th grade, but is too advanced, so she is in the 5th grade class along with a few other 4th graders her age. My son is 7, he is supposed to be in 2nd grade, but is also too advanced, so he is in the 3rd grade class. My youngest is 5, she is in Kindergarten. She has not done any testing, but I am sure she will do better than expected. She picks things up so quickly she is in a dual immersion program. So half her day is in Spanish and the other half is in English. She is 5 and can carry on a conversation in Spanish, which will be her second language. Whatever you and the baby decide, will be the right decision for y’all. Keep on keepin on, you’ll do great!
Wow, don’t be so worried about doing somthing that the women on this planet have been doing for millions of years. I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around, the whole creating life thing. .. But, the best advice or most calming thing any one ever told me when I was pregnant is that you will be better at being that childs mom then you’ve ever been at anything in your whole life. . . And it’s totally true…
Hi, Teresa….This isn’t really about breastfeeding, which is great if you want to do it but not the most important thing you will do for your child. I wanted you to know about a product called The Miracle Blanket which is a fantastic swaddle blanket that worked like a charm on my daughter’s baby (you can call her — she lives in Mar Vista). You can buy it online at miracleblanket.com. Believe me…you won’t have enough of these. You look fantastic. I have been a fan since While You Were Out. I enjoy you so much on Adam’s podcasts. I wish your baby a safe and easy landing. It will be the best day of you life. P.S. I have no connection to The Miracle Blanket other than being a very satisfied customer.
Teresa… while you’re trying that out go ahead and stop shaving your legs and armpits too. You should also consider moving into a tent during the period, but if and only once you decide to stop, don’t feel guilty! B-}
I breastfed my daughter for the first 4 months before i had to go back to work. my advice that worked for me after my lactation speacialist gave it to me are USE THE BREAST SHIELDS. you still get to breastfeed without the pain, sores, bleeding, etc. It is not reccomended but hell with it, its better than nothing if your determined, or a last ditch attempt. Its like a bottle nipple on your boob, so there is no direct contact but also no latching issues. Best invention ever. I also read, (as you probably did too) that you should introduce a bottle if you pump so that if you ahve to bottle feed for some reason the boy will be fine and used to both, som babies reject one or the other if both are not introduced. My daughter has been on formula since then and is now 10 months old, and trust me shes going to be just fine…hope this helps and good luck!
Another option that rarely gets mentioned is exclusively pumping. Several factors resulted in a bad latch for my son, and as a result, I ended up pumping milk exclusively for 6 months. The con is that it is a little harder at first because you feed the baby, you pump, *then* you get to sleep if he or she is still sleeping. The pros are that the baby gets all the benefits of milk, but you aren’t solely responsible for the feeding. You can actually take one feeding off to catch up on your sleep and let daddy have a bonding moment. You are still producing milk, and therefore are still burning more calories per day.
It’s not for everyone, but it is a third option.
I tried and tried and tried until I was cyring every day to breastfeed by little girl. She just wouldn’t do it! I went to four breastfeeding “consultants” and the last one finally told me that my child was the most defiant one she had ever seen! When it came down to it, I decided that enjoying my time with my child was more important than trying to shove my boob in her mouth all the time, only to end up pumping and crying after hours of trying. I started the formula game and never looked back. However, I live in a town in which, apparently, you can be hanged if you don’t breastfeed and complete strangers feel obligated to lecture you about the evils of formula versus the wonders of breastmilk. So you know what I did? I lied! I had to tell complete strangers LIES so that they would leave me alone and stop making me feel like a failure. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Some kids just don’t want to take the boob and that is that!
P.S. My kid is absolutely perfect, breastmilk be damned.
When I gave birth to my son I was convinced that breast feeding would be easy, simple, and fun. After 2 weeks of bleeding nipples, blisters, crying at every feeding (by the way I was the one crying), and my son loosing almost 1 1/2 pounds, I came down with a nasty breast infection. I continued to nurse for two months and finally gave in to the evil formula. My son is 7 years old happy and healthy.
When I had my daughter I went for the breast feeding again. Second time around was a lot easier! No problems at all! I ended up breast feeding for 15 months.
Both my kids are great bottle or breast it’s up to you T. And sometimes it’s not up to you, some babies cannot tolerate breast milk. Parenting is a lot easier when you relax and don’t commit yourself to big ideas.
My wife & I have 2 kids (5 & 3). 1st was exclusively breast fed for 6-months mostly because of fear of “nipple confusion.” 2nd was a mix of breast/bottle because on day 2 of his little life the hospital pediatrician said he wasn’t getting enough milk from mom & said to supplement with formula.
both are happy/healthy kids.
Do what works for you.
Good Luck!!!
Andy
At least your breast feeding class didn’t suggest that you grind up the placenta and make it into a vitamin pill.
I don’t want to say where we went in Los Angeles and they suggested this, but the hospital is named after a Saint and another word for a toilet.
BTW, I don’t know the protocol re: blogrolls and letting fellow bloggers know — but I added you ExploitingMyBaby to my blogroll for my new blog I’m launching today.
Love your writing.
My wife breastfed our son as best she could, but he was “failure to thrive” (the lactation consultant’s term, not ours) so we had to supplement his diet with formula and he turned out just fine. He’s not quite two, and he’s already reciting the alphabet and his numbers from 1-to-10. Don’t let the lactation, Le Leche League, breastfeeding-at-all-costs-or-you’re-a-horrible-mother-and-you-deserve-to-be-treated-like-a-war-criminal crazies get to you. Your boy will be fine, whether you’re able to sucessfully breastfeed or not.
I used to work for the company that, in the late ’90s, published the various books written, or sponsored, by the Le Leche League’s minions. They are NOT looking out for your or your child’s best interests; They only have their agenda at heart (see above).
Hey Teresa aka sweetie pea, baby doll, I love when Adam refers to you that way. I am a nurse in a labor and delivery unit. I get to see all kinds of moms, those who want to breastfeed, are excited about it and its benefits and those who have ABSOLUTELY NO intention of breastfeeding and are horrified by the idea. Personally speaking, breastfeeding is wonderful, loved it so much I nursed my daughter for 20 months. Little baby boy will get all he needs from you and once you get the hang of it you may find that it is a truly gratifying experience. That sweet little body up against yours is such a powerful feeling, for you and your babe. It is very empowering knowing that you have all Buster needs right at your nipple tips. Profesionally speaking, breast milk is the perfect food. Colostrum will initially provide so much good stuff, antibodies, nutrients, we call it liquid gold. Even if you decide that bf is not for you long term, giving him colostrum will go a long way. Bottomline, its up to you and whatever you choose has to work for you and your new family. You will figure it out as you need to.
Ps What did RBG do? There is your guiding light.
Best to you, Batman and Buster!
Allison
To BF or not to BF; it’s a personal choice, and I don’t care what other women feed their babies; my only concern is what I feed MY baby. I love breastfeeding my baby! It does take a few days for the milk to come in, but in the meantime baby gets colostrum. Baby will lose weight, so you’ll most likely have to supplement with formula before your milk comes in. I did, and I cried over it because I thought I was failing my kid. I had the LC telling me he’s eating cheesecake and doesn’t need formula, but then I had the pediatrician telling me that baby was losing too much weight and I needed to supplement. In my mind, I’m thinking, don’t you people talk to each other and TRY to come to some kind of consensus that’s not confusing to the emotional mom who just popped a kid out??
T, you will make the right choice for you, and nothing anyone else thinks matters. Keep in mind, though, that the breastfeeding class is wrong about one thing … BFing DOES hurt in the beginning even when baby is latched on correctly!!! If you can stick it out for 5-6 weeks, it will feel like a breeze after that! And you will feel like a human pacifier, too … again if you can stick it out, everything will even out. You’ll be a pro in no time. ALSO, master the side-lying position early – it will save you! You’ll be able to rest while baby eats. I waited too long to get that one down, and while I enjoy it now, I really could have used it in the beginning of maternity leave!
PS. My lactation consultants were not nipple nazis at all. They were kind and willing to help me and answer any questions I had. If you get one like the one Ian P describes, request another one.
When my wife gave birth to our first 3 years ago, we were visited by what the other nurses called the “nipple nazi” or ‘breast nazi”. Basically, its a nurse who belittled my wife for the 3 days she attempted to get my wife to breast feed. So, after the 3 days, we decided to stop because the baby was losing weight and not getting anything out. And when my wife was belittled almost to the point of assault, I escorted the nurse out of the room and told her not to come back. We abandoned the nursing and went with formula, which turned out just fine. Unfortunately, my wife developed a clogged duct as well as an infection in her breast that required surgery. I know its their job, but these nipple nazis need to back the f*ck off sometimes. If she had come back, I would have forcibly removed the b*tch. Lesson is, don’t make my wife cry, or I will make you cry.
i’ve never really understood the whole lactivist movement. maybe i’m too young (31 w/3 kids), or maybe my wang gets in the way of hearing or caring about it.
the way some people go on, you would think there is an anti-nursing league out there trying to convince people to not breast feed. if breast feeding works well for you, then great, have at it. if not, don’t hesitate to bottle feed. and other than your own kids, who cares?
My wife breastfed our first for 18 months and is currently breastfeeding our second, an 8 month old.
Pro-breastfeeding folks can be a little fascist, but don’t let that discourage you. My wife had difficulty at first with it, but between the advice of our lactation consultant and our Bradley Method teacher, she worked it out and is having no problems with the second.
Regardless of the health benefits, which do exist, it is a lot cheaper. Formula is so expensive and there’s no trash generated from using the boob. so there’s an environmental argument as well.
I guess the most compelling argument for me is that it’s the way humans have fed their kids for hundreds of thousands of years (or 6 thousand, if you’re Biblically inclined). That, and the fact that I was bottle fed and we don’t want to do anything to repeat what that wrought!
T,
I love your blog! First off, thanks for being so candid and funny. I love reading here.
My baby boy is five months old and the first month of his life was a breastfeeding disaster. My boy wasn’t gaining weight, so I started feeding him every hour. My nipples were so raw that he was drinking blood and I didn’t realize it till he spit it up all over my midwife. (I thought the terribly painful nipples were normal!) I desperately wanted to stop and would have if it weren’t for my incredibly helpful and knowledgeable midwife.
All this, combined with hormones and exhaustion, made one of the hardest beginnings I could have imagined, and sometimes I want to cry when I think about it now. But I stuck with the breastfeeding, God knows why.
And now that my boy is older, I am so thankful I did, simply because at least twice a day I DO have one of those bliss moments during breastfeeding. I think my husband would be jealous if he knew how sweet it is to breastfeed now. So I think it’s worth it if you can do it simply because of the intimacy. Not to mention it’s practical.
But screw the fanatics propagating in any possible way — I don’t think they are helping women who really have problems and questions. Most women have the information on the benefits of breastfeeding anyway.
I think more women would breastfeed if they had good help when it becomes difficult. Also coming in the way of breasfeeding, I’m sure, are many women’s professional situations.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
Yes, I completely agree with you, T! However you feed your child they will turn out just fine. I don’t know why the zealots aren’t satisfied just to worry about their OWN kids. Why MUST they insist on pushing the “breast is best” agenda on everyone else? Why do they care SO MUCH what other people do with THEIR KIDS????
Anyhow: my own anecdotal experience: plenty of the breastfed kids I’ve known have had everything from allergies, ear infections, autism, you name it. And conversely, I know plenty of bottlefed kids who don’t. I’m sure the reverse is true as well. Kids are who they are.
OH — P.S. I agree with some of the posts that wonder if you are a little anti-breastfeeding already? Let me just say that it can be SO easy. I never had any problems or almost any pain. I definitely feel tied to my kid but that’s much more a post about sleep training (which I can’t wait to hear in a few months) than nursing.
So it’s great that you’re going to try it, STATISTICALLY it has benefits — so good for you. Just try and keep an open mind, it’s kind of weird at first, but it can be really easy and convenient once you get the hang of it.
GOOD LUCK! And if it doesn’t work out and you HAVE to poison your kid with formula, no one will judge you TOO much.
JUST KIDDING!!!
I did not breastfeed due to compilations. My daughter is 3 years old and has had one ear infection in her lifetime. She has no allergies or asthma and is rarely sick. On the other hand, my friend, who has a daughter the same age, was breastfeed from day one to 18 months has many allergies and asthma. I think this is a very personal choice and no one has the right to apply guilt or pressure to on that choice. Like most parenting issues, the this one is not black or white, pros and cons on both sides and a large gray area. Best of luck.
I’m. So. Thirsty….. T you are sooo funny. Buster = Lucky Baby!!
T,
I have been breastfeeding my son for 3 months now. He is thriving. He weighed 6 lbs 13 oz at birth and now weighs about 18 pounds. He is a big, bouncing, happy boy and we love him to death.
I enjoy breastfeeding because its easy and I’m too lazy and cheap to formula feed. My milk is in the right quantity and temperature 24/7. I don’t have to waste time mixing and washing bottles. In the middle of the night we have some nice snuggles, he eats and we go back to bed.
I like the closeness I feel towards him when we breastfeed. I like that as he gains weight, I lose weight. I lost 30 lbs in the first 3 weeks of his life.
I would suggest breastfeeding as it gives you and your baby the best start.
Good luck and do what is right for you.
Kim
I breastfeed my son and I can’t say I have had much of a problem after the first few weeks (we did have a latch on problem because of his size), but I do think that by making breastfeeding the gold of golden options, you do a disservice to children who are unable to breastfeed. Moreover, it is a slap in the face for adopted children.
My brother is adopted. Because he was adopted so young, he was exclusively formula fed throughout his babyhood. If one were to listen to the breastfeeding zealots out there, he wouldn’t have had a chance. He would have been confined to a life of misery and disease.
But, he has no allergies, he is rarely sick, and he is, on top of being a thoughtful, intelligent young man, also a super athlete. He is among the top in his desired profession, and I expect it mostly had to do with him, not with how he was fed as a baby.
I definitely support breastfeeding. I have been very grateful that it has come to me and my son so naturally. It is, from a practical point of view, cheap and convenient, and I encourage anyone who can try it to do so. Emotionally, it is a rewarding and bonding experience for mom and baby, but by no means the only one. My brother is very attached to both my parents because of good parenting, not because of boobs.
T,
No matter what you do your child will be fine. I’ve been breastfeeding my daughter for 11 months and to be honest even though I do enjoy the bonding time sometimes I feel like a slave to the boob. I dont think she would of been worse off if I formula fed her.
Also at first I was in so much pain that I was about to quit, a friend said to push through it and at the 4 week mark the pain just stopped or maybe my nipple went numb.
Dont let the nipple nazis get to you. Do what works best for you and good for you for at least giving it a try. Good luck!
Yes, the La Leche Leagers are quite zealous.
I tend to agree with them though. Formula-fed babies houses stink really bad. Their spit up stinks. The kids are fine, they get sick at an earlier age.
I breastfed because it’s the easiest thing in the whole wide world to do, once the kid latches on. First few days are painful for about 60 seconds every few hours.. Totally worth it. And I lost a pound a day once I got home from hospital until those 40 pounds melted off.
Have a former FF baby here – my son actually never had spit-up issues in his life. Even as an older kid he’s just never the type that throws up or anything! I’ve had BF pals who had babies that were always having those “reflux” issues. I used to even work in an infant care center and the BF babies’ poop was always icky and mushy…I preferred a nice solid (even tho perhaps stinker!) poop that I didn’t have to clean out of every crevice. LOL!
And guess what. I also lost my 40 pounds of baby weight within one month after leaving the hospital.
For every story there’s always a story where the opposite path was just as true.
My son is primarily formula fed because I simply didn’t produce enough milk to sustain him (I was basically starving him for the first few weeks of life and didn’t know it). The stink doesn’t come from formula feeding, the stink comes from disposable diapers. Anyone who thinks that their nursery isn’t going to stink with a container full of poopy diapers is in denial. Our nursery doesn’t smell at all, but that has a lot to do with the fact that we use cloth diapers and flush all the “solids” with the help of flushable liners and wash every other day.
I am truly envious of Suzi. I wish breastfeeding came as easily to us as it did to her, but unfortunately it didn’t. We worked and worked at it. Went to multiple lactation consultants. Even tried medication to help me produce more milk and nothing worked. That doesn’t mean I’m any less attached to my son or love him any less. I’ve had plenty of close bonding time with him while bottle feeding him and just cuddling during all hours.
It seems like you’re entering the discussion with a slightly negative view of nursing, is that fair to say? So I guess my question is, why might that be?
And I should also say that I appreciate youre willingness to share your opinions publicly with honesty and humor. Thank you!
So here’s my story. I was bound and determined not to “destroy” my child by ever ever letting the horrible substance that is formula ever touch his lips. Well, I tried…and tried and tried!! He was born weighing 8lbs 3ozs. He has dropped to 7lbs 11oz when we left the hospital and down to 7lbs 3oz by his first checkup 3 days later. We went back 2 weeks later for a weight check and he was still at 7lbs 3oz. Something was wrong. I went to back to the lactation consultant and she said he wasn’t latching right. So we tried reteaching him how to latch. That didn’t work. Then she said he was a lazy sucker…great. We tried to fix that problem. It didn’t work. Then finally we found out he was NOT the problem. I was the problem.. For some reason my body was simply not producing enough milk for him. I was making enough milk for him to barely survive. Basically I was starving my child for the first month of life. My poor baby boy was still swimming in his newborn sized clothes that everyone said he would never wear. Finally we started supplementing with the evil formula and what do you know, it didn’t kill him! Not only that but he turned in to a happy baby! He wasn’t constantly crying and miserably hungry. I continued breast feeding and supplementing until he decided he was done with the boob and just wanted the bottle. He is now a very happy smiley little boy and is no worse off even though I felt like I had failed him at first. You can’t listen to everything other people say because you will never do everything “right”. The right thing is whatever is best for you and your baby. Who knows, if I had listened to the people saying not to give him formula I could have starved the poor child to death.
I had a friend in the same boat, who tried to give her baby breast milk and was basically looked down on when she couldn’t. She had to resort to formula. I get so mad when people criticize those that choose to feed formula.
I want to yell at them to mind their own damn business.
Them and old ladies that chastise young mothers in shopping complexes for “babies having babies.” I got yelled at one day for carrying around my younger sibling – I’ve never had kids….
I was basically in the same boat as well (my son never latched well–even with repeated visits from a lactation consultant, he lost over a pound in his first week of life, he was cranky and irritable all the time) except that my son was mildly tongue-tied and even after having his frenulum clipped (which wasn’t traumatic for him at all, by the way–he barely even woke up) he still couldn’t figure out how to latch. For three months both my husband and I had to get up each time he needed to be fed with my husband feeding him a bottle while I pumped (although I could only produce about half of what he needed). I spent many months and lots of energy on guilt and second-guessing (not to mention insane sleep deprivation for both my husband and me) because of the pressure on me to breast-feed. Fast forward to now: I have a happy, healthy, brilliant (and I’m completely unbiased on that one) 20 month-old. He’s only had the sniffles once and has had absolute no other health problems. He was never exclusively breast-fed. I can’t tell you the amount of relief that came with making the decision to stop pumping. It was what was best for our family and I was much more relaxed (and therefore a much more patient parent). When we have our next one I will give breast-feeding a fair shake, but if we have the same experience I won’t hesitate to go to formula and skip the guilt, this time. All that was to say that you should never let anyone else determine what’s best for you and your family. You are the parents and you get to decide. Mothers who breast-feed and mothers who feed formula are all mothers, just the same: it doesn’t mean that either mom loves their child any more or less than the next.
Teresa,
I’m glad to hear that you’re at least going to give it a try. You just might find you have less poopy diapers to change. My allergist just had her third and she’s told me babies almost completely digest breast milk, so not much comes out the other end. Formula isn’t as easily digested and creates more and stinkier diapers. The Mr. can still help feed Buster if you pump, which would give you a break.
I’ve heard that all the benefits of breast-feeding are attained by 6 months. 2 years seems a bit ambitious! I’m a research lab tech in a reproductive endocrinology lab, and I’ve seen data regarding breast-feeding and having a lower incidence of some cancers.
Good luck with the baby, and I love the blog!
I pumped for 9 months at work. I was a disorganized mess of a new Mom and I still did it. I realllly didn’t want to smell formula fed baby diapers.
My baby is breastfed and pooped a lot in the beginning. Now he’s down to 1-2 BMs a day. And BF baby poo does smell…It’s poo, after all!
My baby is primarily formula fed and has 1 BM every 4 days. Every baby is different!
T,
While it’s true that there are crazies out there who will condemn your decision if it doesn’t coincide with their view, it’s also true that you need to be true to yourself and not let those zealots turn you away from what is, frankly, easier for most moms, better for the kid, and cheaper in the long run.
I’m the eldest of 4 and my mom breast fed all of us until we were completely weened onto “people food.” None of us has asthma or any other respiratory problems. It does create more of a bond between mother and baby sooner than formula tends to, although there are exceptions to that, and every other, rule.
Breast milk is also good for the occasional rash your baby might get, including diaper rash, Roseola, and even chicken pox. My mom was breast feeding my younger brother when I got chicken pox and it soothed the itch better than Calamine lotion. You simply rub it onto the affected area of the skin that has the rash. Sounds sticky, and it is, but it really does work. So there are many benefits to breast feeding your baby, as long as you remember to switch sides to avoid mastitis.
However, I understand that some women simply don’t produce enough milk to exclusively breast feed. Why this is true is anyone’s guess, as this wasn’t a problem in the thousands of years before formula was invented. Perhaps it’s because there were no other options and wet nurses were more abundant then.
But why not give it a go? If it doesn’t work for you, your baby will not burst into flames and neither will you. Whether you breast feed or use formula, you will be a terrific mom to little Buster.
Good luck!
“It wasn’t a problem in the thousands of years before formula was invented”???? Really? Oh yes it was a problem. Those babies simply withered away and died. Or were given straight cow’s milk and either survived or didn’t. Face it, infant mortality was a HUGE problem for those thousands of years before formula came along.
so funny teresa,
welcome to the world of guilt driven issues for moms. don’t let it get to you. breastfeeding is great for some, but not for everyone. the fanatics give me the creeps.
Hey Teresa!
My two cents…my son was a month early and very small and had a difficult time for the first week. He had a hard time with breastfeeding and even though I stayed in the hospital with him and fed every two hours (or woke up and pumped) breastfeeding was still a nightmare. The more formula they gave him to supplant my meager milk made my milk all the more more meager. I was using this plastic nipple thing to help him drink and it made it even more difficult when it came time to stop using it.
I pumped and fed through a bottle for two horrible months and then gave up for just breastfeeding and supplementing with some formula for a while (he got very fat!), then was turned on to fenugreek and suddenly my milk came in. We had a couple of “normal” months and at nine months he suddenly didn’t want it anymore and it was a relief.
All in all I’m glad I breastfed but I wish it had been a less stressful exercise. I think if it works for you, great, but don’t kill yourself (a friend pumped in the bathroom at work for over a year…yikes) over it. There are plenty of ways you can make sure your baby grows up healthy!
Very well put! I wish this post had existed five months ago!
Breastfeeding did not work out for us. In fact, my milk never came in. Believe it or not, there are those lactivists out there who want formula to be available by prescription only. I would have qualified since my hormones shit themselves and my endocrine system went on strike, but it always made my ass twitch that there were people out there who wanted to take away that CHOICE. I damn near drove myself (and my husband) crazy trying to make my milk come in for eight weeks — that meant pumping twelve times a day and going on medication that made me a little loony. It was not worth it for three ounces a day.
Once I switched entirely to formula and threw out the pump, I was happier and healthier which made my son happier. He’s almost six months old and doing just fine, and although it took a very long time, I’m over the guilt and no longer walk into Target expecting to kick some ass whenever someone gives me and my cans of formula a funny look.
So, it boils down to this: Be flexible with and forgiving of yourself. That’s the only advice I have for any mother. I do hope breast feeding works out for you, but if it doesn’t or if you just don’t like it, that’s okay, too. Take good care.
Lee Anne said a bunch of what I wanted to say — be flexible and remember that a happy mom is so much better than a miserable one.
I really think MOST people are pretty understanding. TONS of people had trouble nursing and even those who didn’t know someone who did. To each his own. We all do the best we can for our kids and ourselves.
I will say, however, the whole “my kid was fed a bottle and is fine” or “I know a kid who was breast-fed and has horns” is ridiculous. A sample of one or a few is meaningless. A lot of us didn’t have carseats and yeah, we’re fine, but statistically — on average — kids are safer if they ride in carseats. Just ’cause you didn’t and you’re o.k. is totally irrelevant.
Statistically, there are benefits to breastfeeding. So sure, it’s great to try it and it was undoubtedly a mistake when breastfeeding was actively DIScouraged. But it doesn’t work for everyone and that’s just life. Heck, living in a city is probably statistically less healthy, too, but we can’t all move, now can we?
Just please don’t post that you live in a city and you’re just fine but your friend lives in the country and is a mess. Take a statistics class, people..
I have taken a statistics class and a sample size of 200 is considered good enough to prove a hypothesis. Seems like with all the parenting boards I’ve visited of people who’ve said their bottle-fed children are just as healthy and smart as their neighbor’s breastfed kids has to mean something.
Dang, you are funny. I have never been pregnant, don’t ever plan on becoming pregnant, don’t really care about all the pregnancy stuff and yet I read your blog just because it is just plain good and awesome. Thank you. And good luck.
If there are known, measured, published benefits to breastfeeding yet there are no benefits other than convenience to bottle feeding, why not give it a try. It’s like blood doping in cycling only without side effects and laws prohibiting it. Why let your disgust at the preachers get in the way of the good it will do.
You can’t overcome nature and solve every problem hidden in your genealogy, but what if you could help with just a few? Is your disgust with breastfeeding zealots that strong. I’m assuming that some of what you write is for effect and not true to your feelings.
And what’s it to you what she does with her baby?
I have been interested in what your take on the nursing business would be. When I was having trouble this time (2nd lil dude who is 3 months old) only one dr of that many that I saw (for thrush or the physical therapist I saw because he was sucking a super funny way) let me off the nursing hook which felt really great. He said look these babies end up exactly the same maybe the nursing kid gets a few less ear infections. I was able to keep nursing which I wanted to do out of some crazy need to be fair to both kids cause I nursed the first. Spazzy!!
Also I was formula fed like every other 70s kid and Im fine. I mean with all the stress they put on you regarding what to eat and be around you’d think your baby would have zero chance for survival… my 17 year old Mother ate hot dogs and I was never in a car seat, drank from plastic bottles that had weird stuff in them AND was given solids at 4 weeks per my pediatrician. Not that all that stuff is awesome but Im way fine and have the requisite number of appendages and a normal shaped head albeit large-ish
The one thing that Ive learned is that I am the best Mom for my kids and you are the best Mom for Buster. Whichever works type of feeding works out, whether or not you lose the weight by your 8 week playboy shoot or VS runway show (I just zipped pants for the first time since last year THIS week and they are my FAT pants and Im on WW) Buster will look at you like you are the best thing that ever happened to him and he will be right.
ps I think you are the awesome middle between Lil Ricky and Ricki Lake