Getting all self-reflective and shit.
Hey other pregnant ladies, quit avoiding my gaze.
All I want to do is chat you up, and find out how many weeks pregnant you are and maybe talk some shop – you know, where you’re delivering, what you take for heartburn, what you think of cord blood banking and the new iPhone app that times contractions. I just want to be friends, pregnant strangers.
I’ve never done this baby thing before, and I’m always hoping we’re going to see each other and do a secret handshake, and have a moment.
However, it seems you gestational types aren’t that into me. For a while, I tried to smile at you when I saw you in line at the movies, or feeding your meter, or buying groceries. I tried to look welcoming, but you looked right past me, and off I went with my tail between my crampy legs.
It’s not like you don’t see me. Yeah, I’m the one that looks like a physics problem, like I shouldn’t be able to stand upright without toppling over. At first, I wanted to assure you that I wasn’t just carrying my weight in a very unfortunate manner, make sure you knew I was really pregnant, so I would rub my stomach in that ginger way only pregnant women do, but no dice. You and your fetus snub my fetus and me. The truth is, I’ve been a social disaster most of my life, so I’m not unfamiliar with the sensation, I just can’t figure out why this dismissal is so pronounced.
Honestly, if we ran into each other wearing the same shoes or handbag, we would probably at least look at each other and chuckle and maybe say, “Nice purse,” or “You have great taste.” A richly hued and hilarious interaction it would not be, but a human connection, yes.
If I were walking a mini-schnauzer and so were you, we would stop and have a chat about our doggies, compare schnauzer notes. Arguably, an entire friendship could spring forth from this one, shared characteristic. If we were both wearing Phillies hats, or driving Mini-Coopers, or reading “Eat, Pray, Love” at The Coffee Bean, there would be a warm interaction, but both heading into child birth (big deal) and motherhood (biggest deal ever) and nada. Nada?
Important point: this pregnant girl snubbing only pertains to complete strangers.
I have now made three new friends, simply because we are all pregnant at the same time and mutual acquaintances hooked us up. I love these moms-to-be and seeing them feels so right and comfortable that even when we don’t get together, we end up texting and emailing all day. I’m more pregnant than two of the girls, giving me a few extra weeks of wisdom, which is a luxury in a situation that is so new I mainly feel like a bloated dunce who is constantly faced with decisions she can’t understand. That’s right, I’m 33 weeks pregnant and have yet to choose a hospital, a name for the baby boy or even a brand of nipple pads. I’m lost, and sometimes euphoric, and 40 pounds heavier and three cup sizes bigger and 20 degrees hotter than I ever was.
Pregnant ladies who walk right by me on the sidewalk and turn away like I’m about to make you sign a petition about saving marine life, I know you can relate.
So I can only imagine there is some sort of animal kingdom thing at play here.
When I see you out and about, I sense you getting protective about your personal space and your baby. Maybe this is insane, but it’s almost like I represent a threat, another mother bear that might somehow compromise your safety or shrink your available resources. Is there something evolutionary going on, as in, that lady better not get more shelter, berries, attention or protection from strong males in the tribe?
Alternatively, this could be endemic to the Hollywood, Los Feliz, Hancock Park areas where I live and write in various coffee shops and drop off dry cleaning and wander. Last week, I was in the Valley and struck up a conversation with a lady who was nine days overdue and she was perfectly genial. The Valley could be a less competitive and more family-friendly place. Maybe it’s just more relaxed in the 818.
Or, both of these theories could be bogus. In the classic horror movie, “When a Stranger Calls,” the most chilling moment is when cops tell the terrorized babysitter, “The call is coming from inside the house.” There is a decent chance that this call is coming from inside the house, the house being my own haunted mind. Either I am unknowingly giving off a cold vibe that freaks out the women I’m trying to befriend, or I’m reading into this parade of pregnant girls some animosity that doesn’t exist.
Like I said, my social skills have never been great.
In the end, this could all be solved with an ice-breaking secret handshake. Or if that’s too intimate, maybe we just throw up a sign, one finger per trimester, sideways, OG style, and know for a sly, passing moment that we’re in the same crew.
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oh yes, i know how you feel.
by the way, mazal tov on your beautiful baby boy.
s.
T! its cuz your hawtttt and famous…
you look stylish and fantastic and they see you as a threat. You make them feel bad about themselves…not on purpose, they just feel crappy.
it sucks but its the worlds best compliment!
Work it girl
That’s one UGLY baby.
I can’t even look at her because she is so fugly.
First off, Teresa, I think you’re wonderful. I’ve thought so since your first Adam show and the longer I listen to you the more I like you. Secondly, I am pregnant too, with a boy. We call him Mr. Burns because all babies are born looking like wrinkly old men. You are due almost one month to the day ahead of me and I and my left hand owe you a huge debt of gratitude. After the ring podcast the other week I immediately took off my rings and I am SO glad I did. Your finger looked like it hurt like hell, I’m so sorry.
The other thing I wanted to tell you, so I guess thirdly, is I hear you on the preggo ladies ignoring preggo ladies thing. WTF?! My husband and I moved from the Bay Area to this very family centric little town outside of Milwaukee about a year and a half ago. At first no one would talk to me because we didn’t have kids. Then two of our nieces came to spend the weekend with us and we had their double stroller parked outside the front door. All of a sudden we were worth talking to. Several people stopped me to say they saw the stroller and were wondering if we had twins. When I said no twins, just nieces, they kind of frowned and walked away. I was no longer worth a friendship I guess. So strange. Anyway, so then I finally do get pregnant and I think this is it, a ticket into the club. Only, not so much. It’s more of what you described. I desperately want to make some mommy friends and no other pregnant ladies will talk to me. Believe me, I tried to make friends in our birthing class, and although there were a few moms to be who I really liked, I didn’t make any friends. Lots of other people go out of their way to talk to me about my germinating child, but a fellow preggo? Nada. Some of your readers seem to think you’re being shunned because you look so good, and this did cross my mind, and you really do look great, but I think it’s something else. I am not such a stunning pregnant lady and they’re still not talking to me. I live in the freaking Midwest where people are supposed to be super nice so I don’t think it’s because the knocked up in your neck of the woods are rude or stand-offish. I think we were both expecting that expecting means admittance into a special circle of womanhood and I think we were wrong. I think the bond is forged post-baby. I think pregnant ladies are too busy thinking about their baby, navel gazing in the strictest sense, to pay attention to another pregnant lady. I think women who have already had a kid or two are the ones who like to talk to pregnant ladies. I love to hear what they have to say, but I wish I had a friend with volcanic heartburn and labor anxiety along for the ride.
In any case, thank you so much for writing this blog. I’ve been meaning to write to you for a very long time to tell you how great I think you are. I thoroughly enjoy reading this blog and listening to you whenever you’re on Adam’s podcast.
I thought I was the only alien pregnant woman that other pregnant women “hated”. I thought we would be a sisterhood…oooohhhh no! I’m glad to see you’re doing well. I have less than a week to go and I am OVER IT! Now on maternity leave, I’ve caught up on the podcast and see you are too. Hang in there!
Ok, when I read: “iPhone app that times contractions” I realized that technology has to stop. They have giant clocks on the wall in every room in every hospital this side of Angola. I’m sure Adam Corolla would have an hour rant about this.
So much of this deserves commenting, but it seems about a million other people have already said what I would have. Can I just suggest– on the nipple pads front? Lily Pads. They’re like, 18 bucks, keep you from leaking altogether (about 95% of the time anyway) and are pretty comfy. They’re basically suction cups that hold your shit in so you don’t leak in the first place and kick regular pads’ asses.
even though I have 2 small kids and are no longer preggers, I’d say hi. as a new mom I want to talk to all other moms and moms to be to compare and commiserate.
and as for the pads, you want lily padz, trust me.
I’m pregnant and wouldn’t ignore you! That ring video almost made me throw up – you poor thing.
I definitely don’t think it’s in your head. It IS a certain-parts-of-LA thing and also, you are looking good prego. Just sayin’.
Love your blog. As a mom of two small boys, I can’t wait for the follow up blog, after-birth.
I wonder if it has anything to with not wanting to hear griping. Even if it is a shared annoyance, unexpected things or such. I’m planning a wedding and as much as people are excited for me, I REALLY dont want to hear about your bad experiences or what YOU wouldnt do if u had to do it again. THO I do get some good advice… I just… it takes away from something hearing other people warning meh. BUT… I would think it would b different for having a baby. I agree with an earlier poster… It’s becuz ur still a hottie… even 45lbs heavier.
T – I hope you’re going to put these in book form and publish. All the blogs are terrific.
I just heard on the latest Carolla podcast that you are still looking for names. I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but the Baby Name Wizard is fantastic. http://www.babynamewizard.com/blog
What I like about it is that it charts the popularity of names over the last 100 years, so you can see trends. Just a great site, and book. We used it to help name our two kids.
This is so true!!! My husband calls it battle of the bellies. The worst was last week when we went on the “hospital tour” with 8 other pregnant couples. My husband and I laughed and made jokes and tried to talk to the other couples – no dice. We even got in an elevator – all 8 of us in close quarters – not a peep from anyone. No eye contact, nothing! The battles continue for another 7 weeks. My question is – does this become battle of the babies?
I truly enjoy your posts! Thank you!
Yvonne
T- You will be a wonderful Mom, I can just tell! Here are some things for you to read if you can’t sleep at 3am and you’re tired of eating frozen grapes:
“Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin. Yeah… its a little hippy dippy in spots, but the basic theme is inspiring and comforting to read in the last weeks of pregnancy.
Dooce.com… probably you’ve already heard of her but just in case you haven’t I thought I’d mention her. She just gave birth to her second daughter and has documented the experience in a very realistic way on her blog.
“The Mother Trip” by Ariel Gore
“Operating Instructions” by Anne Lamott
I’d like to hear if you actually read any of these, and what you think of them… I don’t know if you even check the comments on this blog.
Congrats to you both on the impending birth of your son! I’ll be looking forward to reading your blog entry about the birth.
Krista -
Thanks for these suggestions. I haven’t read any of these books, though I have checked out Dooce. She is the queen of all mom bloggers and does not not need my endorsement, but I like her style. In fact, I’m kind of jealous of her wildly successful, high-earning, Oprah-appearing ways. It would almost be nice if she sucked, but she doesn’t. That being said, I don’t read that blog much.
Been reading a book about irrational decision-making called “Sway.” It’s not a baby book, but it does describe the current state of my lower back.
t
Just read your Tweet about the car seat… doesn’t it make it all super-freaky real now? Getting v. excited for you and “Dad”!
I commiserate my pregnant friend. I have a pregnant co-worker who is also pregnant with baby #2 (as am I), and although we were never great friends before, it is certainly comforting to have someone who can relate to your current pelvic predicament. We enjoy grossing out non-pregnant co-workers with mere allusions to anatomical changes in the undercarriage, the realities of post-birth (ask a recent mother about the benefits of hospital mesh panties and make sure to take as many as you can before you are released….) and exactly what movements cause ligaments to pop audibly. Congrats!
I am SO GLAD I didn’t end up buying the Rachel Pally dresses. I loved them @ Nordstrom…but what I didn’t see was how fat they make your back look! Whew! Crisis averted.
Maybe other women just hate you. Lucky you’re having a son. It’ll be years until his girlfriends hate you!
Love listening to you on the podcast btw.
Your video blogs are too awesome. You’re even funny when you’re upset.
Oh, i definitely agree with the gal who said your preggo hotness could turn other women off. You’re a gorgeous mom-to-be…
I’m straight, but I totally appreciate a pretty gal
Oh I feel your pain Teresa. I’m 32 weeks and live in WeHo and get the no eye contact snub constantly… especially when I’m at Trader Joe’s.. weird. You’re gorgeous, you’re going to make an awesome mom. I promise if I see you out and about I will say hello
I am 4 weeks ahead of you, saw you out, tried to smile at you, and got ignored. I felt like a stalker. But I kind of feel like more of one now.
You women are so messed up. You know what, I love you T, but it IS all in your head. You think that other pregnant women are avoiding you when you see them on the street? You know, people do have lives. If every pregnant woman stopped and ‘talked shop’ with every single other pregnant woman she saw, you would just see packs of you in heards cluttering the street. I kid, but its true; people just have lives and don’t necessarily walk the streets looking to make friends. You have some issues there, sweetie.
BTW: Love you on Carolla’s podcast.
ew.
Ugh. It’s the area…i lived in LF and people are all about themselves. I moved to Glendale and women chat me up all the time at Target, post office, cvs…
Strange
Dealt with the snubbing up here in Oregon as well. It was almost 17 years ago that I had my daughter but still remember the glares I got when I was pregnant. Not only by the other Preg’s but also by those who were not. I gained a lot as well and went up 2 cups. SO I feel for you T! As for that stupid dress comment that was really RUDE! REALLY! I really thing Sookie is just jealous! Your gorgeous, and hearing you talk about your pregness I actually miss it. Good luck to the two, I mean three, of you!
You’re too pretty, T, they’re jealous.
On Mad Men, after Betty’s friend gives birth during an early fall heatwave, she says something like, “ugh, the milk stains are about to meet my sweat stains.”
T – don’t know where else to put this… just read this in the Times (and of course that would mean the NY Times). This guy’s blog is also really good.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/20/when-cancer-changes-your-appearance/
My youngest is six so while I can’t have a tummy to tummy hello with you, I’ll be the lady who gives you a “brava!” when I see you nursing at the mall. I might even remind you to cherish the moments, as if you weren’t already, just before pinching the fatty part of my six year old’s arm for whatever sass she just pulled.
Teresa, I love the blog. I am tickled each time I see a Teresa/BB podcast downloading. You are saying and writing what so many of us wished we could say during our pregnancies. An early BRAVA to you!
YEAH you’re 20 degrees hotter than you’ve ever been!!!!!
LOVE hearing you weekly on CarollaCast! Keep it up!
I’m 38 weeks along, and if I saw you on the street, I’d take you home, park you on the couch and leave you there so I could heave my enormous stomach in your direction on the other couch and wail, “Remind me about 33 weeks, Teresa! Remind me about the salad days when I could still move! When the exertion of emptying the dishwasher wasn’t the equivalent of an hour at the gym! When sex with my husband didn’t remind me of trying to solve a Rubik’s cube!”
So be careful what you wish for. I’m sure I would get on your nerves.
It makes me all proud when the people who leave comments at EMB can turn a phrase. I don’t know why that is, but I kvell. Love reading these notes. Thank you.
OMG I feel like such an asshole…
. I averted my eyes for no other reason than you are wonderful and talented and I am a nervous nerd. I would love to be your friend, pregnant or not 
I saw you last night in Los Feliz…just walking down the street. I was hauling my prego ass out of Panty Raid (not buying, just seeking refuge as I waited for my husband to pick me up for the Elvis/Lucinda concert). I stepped out of the store, walked RIGHT by you, opened the car door and said, “Oh my god oh my god oh my god that is TERESA STRASSER!!” Hubby said, “Go say something!” knowing how much I love you and would LOVE to meet you. But I got all nervous and said “No, I don’t want to bother her..” I felt like such a tool.
So now I check in on my favorite blog and read this post and wish I could go back in time, stop you, say hi, and ask you when you’re due
XO
c
Wow. Big bellies, small world. My husband went to the Elvis/Lucinda show last night, too.
Sorry we didn’t meet here in the neighborhood.
Isn’t Panty Raid depressing? So many exquisite lace panties, so few in extra large.
that place IS depressing. a few months back (when they were still at their old location in silver lake) i wandered in and thought, “i’m going to get some sexy undies and bra and embrace this round belly. i’m still hot…or at least my sweet liar of a husband says so…” spent WAY too much money on an elle macphearson get-up and never wore it. no matter how pretty, it couldn’t detract from the big ol baby growing inside of my belly.
what did you think of the show?
I hope both of you enjoy the big ol’ baby growing inside. I’ve had three, but wanted more. Sadly, my husband pasted away from cancer and I doubt that I’ll ever have another big ol’ baby belly again. I miss what the both of you are going through and how in-love both of you will be with your babies and hubbies/partners.
Cherish your time and give your bellies a rub for me.
Teresa, since you don’t have a baby name for your son yet, Luke is a pretty strong name for a boy. My Luke was awesome!
I’m a real dork! It was way too late last night. I meant to say that my husband passed away from cancer…
I say “hi” to every pregnant woman I see. Not really.
Anyway, listening to the podcast and I wanted to let you in on this. In Japan they have tiny squeeze bottles with caps, shaped like fish, that holds soy sauce (for your supermarket bought sushi). You can buy them empty for cheaps. Need me to send some to your local Trader Joes? And mark the box, “FOR SEXY PREGNANT LADY WITH SOY SAUCE STAINS”?
teresa – you are just wonderful and human and so perfectly, pregnantly neurotic! i’m sorry to bash your area code, but in the interest of calming your fears, i must tell you that after a lifetime on the east coast, i moved to montana, and then oregon, specifically to get away from the snubbing, competitive attitude i so frequently encountered among women, in order to be around people who are open, friendly, and unpretentious. if i saw you, all cute and preggo, anywhere in my daily routine, i would stop you instantly and beg to know all of your gestational details. california just blows ;o)
Hey T girl –
I reallly, really hate to be reverse snobbish – but I truly think you hit on a little something with your zip code. In the land of the terminally hip, tan, rich and thin it is considered beyond gauche to comment on the fact that the person standing in front of you is either knocked up or has had a very unfortunate accident involving a beach ball or perhaps a scarier image a la Sigorney Weaver in an famous movie scene… here in the flat-lands of Valley Suburbia as long as you keep driving north of Ventura Blvd, you’ll find LOTS of women who really love to encounter “someone else in the club” – when I was pregnant I had “how many weeks”, “what symptoms”, “whatcha gonna call it”, “do you know what your having” conversations in every check out line I stood in from the moment it looked like I might be pregnant. In fact, it was one of the things which truly made me think “hey, I can do this … look at all these woman who’ve done it and are so happy for someone else”. I came from a very (very) large Irish Catholic family and my entire childhood was spent listening to my many, many (continually) pregnant Aunts talk about the joys and bummers of pregnancy – it was an amazing thing to see a room full of woman, some pregnant, some with baby at the boob, some glad to have 15 minutes away from the toddlers (who were happily playing with their dozens of cousins). My family all lives on the East Coast, so I imagined having to go it alone .. but luckily I happened to make close friendships with a bunch of girls who were about to start their breeding seasons and we were all pregnant at various times together which was so cool. But even more meaningful to me were the Von’s checkout line conversations in which I learned how to say how pregnant I was and what gender I was hoping for and how happy I was in Spanish or Armenian – or accepted the warm well wishes of an elderly stranger who insisted I go first in line because “she remembered how hard it was to stand on her feet at 30 weeks pregnant – even if it was 40 years ago”. I agree with your earlier poster that some parts of the country really embrace the “Mommy zone” …
Well, I’ve been preggies and I will never avoid your gaze.. Love the blog. Make it into a book that I can pay for with American dollars.
Love you T
I’m 22 weeks pregnant and recently went to a prenatal yoga class for the first time. Being surrounded by all of those pregnant women, most further along than me, made me feel really strange. It occurred to me…I’m not the most fascinating person in the room! In most situations, I’m the only pregnant woman and therefore SPECIAL. So I probably would ignore you, too, because I like to live in a fantasy world where I’m the most unique and special woman on the planet because I’m gestating.
I have no idea how to make pregnant friends. I’ve reached out to two pregnant acquaintances and they have been awesome and welcoming but don’t live near me, etc. I would totally talk to you if you smiled at me in the street!
Especially when one is very obviously pregnant, I think a lot of women fell self-conscious, and nervous. They want to look inward and not really socialize. Other women want to say hello to every pregnant person they see (I was the latter)! Although, it may be a little of the looking-at-famous-people-phobia… I’d probably be intimidated!
Once the baby is born, you just want to make sure you’re in the same boat as everyone else (which you will undoubtably be). I have to admit, though, I still want to say hi to every pregnant person I see (my son is five months now), and get to know them, and their future baby! I think it’s a good conversation starter.
On the subject of naming the baby, we didn’t name our son until the day he arrived. I went in the hospital a little early for medical reasons and was being induced, so we chose the name from the list we had been talking about most recently, and then, the next morning, just a few hours before he was born (via c-section), we chose something that hadn’t even been on our list. And believe me, it was the right choice for him:-)
It’s got to be the area thing. My wife & I live in the 818 (Valley Village) and all the pregnant women always say hello to my pregnant wife and vice versa (we’re 35 weeks pregnant). Maybe we’re all just more laid back in the valley. Congrats to you!
I know that when I see a pregnant woman I try not to stare (even if I am pregnant too!). Some women can get down right hostile if you are caught looking at them. Its like they assume you are judging them on some insecurity they have (like weight gain or fat ankles).
I do my best to smile when someone else smiles at me, but I also am very careful not to be too interested in someone elses business.
As an additional note. If I were out and saw someone I recognized from TV but didn’t know them personally, I would definitely mind my own business. As much as I would like to talk babies etc.. I would fear the shun from them.
Maybe this all means my assumptions have been wrong and I should make the attempt to be more friendly too.
I am totally that way now that you bring it up. I think for me, it is something deep down inside that is saying “Hey, what is she doing here…. I am supposed to be the center of attention pregnant lady, she is totally taking my attention” …. even though I hate the attention when I actually get it. Thanks for bringing that up, I will work on being friendlier.
It’s just that you’re so breathtakingly beautiful pregnant, you make other women self-conscious. These women have gained 7.5 pounds and feel like cows. You’ve gained 40 you’re radiant. If you could manage to casually show them one of your freaking out videos, they might come around. I’m just saying…
Ugh, I thought it was just me! What is it with these ladies? I tried to strike up a conversation with a pregnant woman at the fabric store today who also happened to be working on the same project (flannel swaddling blankets) that I am and she acted like I was a Larouchie! And forget about a friendly nod on the street. But I do live in Seattle where people are pretty cold to begin with.
I don’t know where you ladies live, but I’m in the midwest, and people…preggo and not….are always talking to me about my pregnancy. When are you due? What are you having? So I proceed to tell them the whole story about how this baby was a surprise….blah, blah, blah.
I personally always like to ask when people are due and what they’re having and feel more comfortable doing it when I’m pregnant too. Of course, I also like to ask the completely boorish questions like, “Was this baby planned?” and “How many more do you plan to have?”
Yeah, I know, these people in LA are weird about this apparently. I am from Montana and live now in Oregon and was asked about my pregnant belly constantly. I had a whole group of people tell me I shouldn’t be THAT BIG ALREADY when I was 5 months pregnant while visiting my parents in Montana.
Exactly! It’s all the worse because other people lump you together. The cashier looks at you, and then at the pregnant woman walking by, and then back at you like “Aren’t you going to say hi? You rude bi-otch.” And I shrug, as if to say “I already tried, she doesn’t like me. She must already have friends.” But then I notice she’s carrying a Winnie the Pooh purse and I realize I probably didn’t want to be her friend anyway.
Alright heres the deal.
It’s because you are still hot. The other pregnant women feel threatened by your gestational good looks and so they SHUN you. Now, if you had gained like 100 pounds and you had a moon face and really bad acne, those preggos might give you some more time.
I am one of those fat ugly pregnant chicks (34 weeks yeah!) and when I see skinny pregnant girls I secretly want them to have an ugly baby. Is that bad?
Love your posts. xoxo.
Ok, bless you for saying that. I would love to think that’s the reason, like when boys didn’t like me in junior high, it was because “they were intimidated.” Sadly, however, I’m inching up on a 45 weight gain so far, and my feet have swollen out of size tens, so I don’t think I’m being shunned for my beauty, but I so love your theory. And you.
I think Micci’s right. When I was recently preggo, if I had even the energy to put on make-up, I’d have felt semi-attractive. Then I see pics of you looking fabulous in good clothes and at thirty-something weeks, and my pajama-clad self is pretty bummed out.
That being said, when the baby arrives you’ll probably get a lot of attention, or at least your baby will. If you can even get out of the house!
During my first pregnancy I worked at Lowe’s and being the friendly cashier that I was forced to be I would always try to chat with my customers. When I was obviously showing and getting customers who were pregnant also I would always ask them when they were due or what they were expecting. Many of them seemed a little shy and would begrudgingly tell me about their pregnancy.
I don’t know why they were like that. It could be because they are probably pestered all the time by everyone about it. Could just be grumpy from being pregnant. Or they’re just trying to by screws and not play 20 questions.
But even when I go to my doctor’s and I see the other pregnant ladies in there, they all seem unenthusiastic to be there or even to be existing in life in general. Which I can understand to an extend, pregnancy can be VERY miserable. But hell, there are many women out there who would love to be in our position but can’t. So I always try to be as positive and upbeat as I can while pregnant.
I know with my pregnancy now (#2 at 38 weeks and 5 days) I am a little shy to answer questions about this pregnancy because I also have a 9 month old. (you can tell what my boyfriend and I like to do) So I always feel a little ashamed of telling people how quickly I got pregnant again.
That’s called Irish Twins!
I call them Mexican twins! LOL
T,
I totally agree, there are a couple pregnant ladies in my 3-year-old son’s gym class and they have also turned away from my pleasant smile. And surprisingly, at 27 weeks and obviously showing, only two strangers have acknowledged my pregnancy. And the topper, when I was recently on an airplane not one person offered to help me retrieve my bag from the overhead — I ended up really hurting my shoulder when my bag twisted my arm backwards! WTF? Anyway, I would definitely smile back if smiled at and I will totally be your email friend…
Same experience here too! I thought we would all have this sense of community, but no response to my smiles or friendly looks in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I really thought I would get some friendly glances returned from pregnant women in my neighborhood, as our babies could be future playmates, but alas, nothing.
Now I have a two-week old, and am hoping I get better results from direct interaction with my local mom’s group.
T!
WHY does this happen? I’ve experienced the same. For a while, I thought maybe other pregnant ladies (and people in general) were being polite and didn’t want to embarrass me in the off chance that I had just gained a bunch of weight. I understand that; how awful would that be for the poor sucker who says, “Oh! How far along are you?” and has to back-pedal when the not-pregnant woman breaks the news. But I digress.
Now at 34 weeks, there is no denying my pregnancy. Still, I too get the averted eye contact when I attempt the half-smile. What is going on here? Have I offended this woman? How?
Maybe I expect too much. I will say, though, that for the other 35 years of my existence, I’ve been fine with blending in, and now preferring a little special treatment/courtesy from other pregnant ladies or the general public isn’t too much to ask.
True story: A couple weeks ago I was walking towards the elevators in my office building. A guy was waiting for an elevator, the doors opened, and we made eye contact. I quickened my pace, thinking that of course he would hold the doors. Much to my dismay, the doors began to close as I approached the elevator. All I could come up with at the time was, “You’ve GOT to be KIDDING ME!” I’m sure he heard me, and I also wish I would have come up with something better.
Here is my shout out to you my fellow pregnant lady! I completely understand what you are saying!