Can’t breathe at night. Normal pregnancy symptom, I’m told. Still, it feels so torturous I keep expecting John Yoo to write me a memo.
The good news is that this middle-of-the-night meltdown was captured by the Mr. If I’m going to exploit my baby, why not start now by exploiting my baby-related meltdowns?
If you are pregnant and panicking ’cause you can’t breathe, know you are not alone. If you are not, please enjoy a private but satisfying sense of superiority. That’s what I would do.
Oh, and this is NSFW. Sorry, I’m short of breath, but long on swears.
Enjoy another offering from Sonny and Overshare.
Preggisode: Week 25, Suffocation from Teresa Strasser on Vimeo.
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Tags: Craziness, Pregnancy, Pregnancy products
hahahah im so used to hearing u on the radio is great hearing u drop the f bomb
so funny
By the end of my pregnancy there were 12 pillows on the bed and no pregnant person. I would often have to get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch sitting up (which did help btw). My husband would console me with snores and mumbles about how everything would be ok. God I hated him when he said that… towards the end I hated him about 7 -135 times a day. Im told its normal.
Id love to say chin up and that its all gonna get better but the truth of the matter is – that for me – it all got a whole lot worse before it got better.
I – like you – became overwhelmed with the thought of what labor was going to do to my ‘personal space’ reading as much as I could about recovery. If I hear the word Kegel one more time I might strangle someone with my very tone vaginal wall. I ended up having to have a c-section so now instead of worring about infection & squirting warm water on my whooha I have a large dark scar underlining and highlighting my brand new set of custom stretch marks.
Long story, longer. It aint easy being cheesy. But it does… eventually get better. YOu seem like a tough chick and Im sure you’ll do just fine.
SHOUTS to http://www.theyoungturks.com I saw your guest spot and Im an official fan.
Good Luck
Hi T,
I hate to say this because I feel so bad for you while watching your videos but they are so funny! What a great video diary you’ll have for buster when he’s older!:-) Keep them coming! BTW – I love the almost live news podcasts you’ve been doing with Ace!
You’ll be just fine. Seriously. Take a shallow breath, sit up straight, and try to meditate or get a prenatal massage. Don’t get all up in your head or you can do real damage to your heart.
I had my last child at 38 and was totally worn out by the time she was born. I went through that but had a 14 and 2 year old calling for attention and no patience for mom’s ‘needs’. I hear your pain. But I also know you’ll be just fine.
You need a mommy to tell you it’s all going to be okay, so it WILL all be okay.
Teresa, I am not pregnant, do not plan on becoming pregnant and want to thank you for confirming that this is a correct and sane decision! I do have LOTS of pregnant friends and they swear that the only way to sleep and breathe at the same time is to go to the beach, dig a hole in the sand and lay the belly into it. Bring an umbrella and happy napping!
Only you would have a Magic 8 Ball on your nightstand. hehe
Love you, Miss Teresa!
[...] MELT DOWN – Poor Teresa’s Still Pregnant Folks And Still Having Meltdowns [...]
I really like your 8 ball lamp!
Oh just wait until the anxiety / panic kicks in that you only have 10 weeks left….thats what happen to me….WHY OH WHY IS XANAX A CLASS D DRUG!!!!!
Oh and the insomnia is a blast but its all worth it in the end!!! Hang in there T, were all in the same boat.
It was FANTASTIC to hear you on the ACP today !!! But man-o-man it just makes all of us who had the joy of having all of you on our morning drive time jones for you all the more. Like giving a guy on his belly in the Sahara a single drop of ice cold water. Anyway – really, really nice to hear all of you together again. I was very glad that you and Adam went out of the way to underscore that Bryan’s worse sounding symptoms are actually a “good sign” – it freeeeaked me out totally how scary different he sounded. All prayers and energy go out to the universe for BB. As for the meltdown – well done Mrs Batman – take a bow – excellent …thousands of third trimester Mom’s in the future will find this and laugh and feel SO much better.
I know this part of the process makes time feel sort of sundial-ish rather than digital you really are getting close to the home stretch now tick tock tick tock.
T is on Adam Carolla Podcast July 16, 2009
Oh man, did I hate pregnancy. Just imagine going through all this PLUS having a baby or toddler to also take care of! I can’t understand why some women want to do that. After I had my son (whom I do love dearly!) I vowed never to endure all that torture again. I just wanted to focus on enjoying mommyhood!
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…. Your kind comment has made my entire week.
Hey T,
Miss you on the Adam Carolla Show and absolutely adore your writing style. The blog is fantastic. Wrote a little something I hope you might like. I tried channeling your fabulous sense of humor. Grab some chili fries and a comfy chair and enjoy (if you get a sec):
http://www.straight.com/article-240185/summers-gone-right-down-tubes
Your wonderful wit remains a constant inspiration. Best of luck with the pregnancy and keep up the great work.
Kindest regards,
Chris in Vancouver
P.S. – Follow me on twitter!
I just sent this to my husband so that he’ll understand I’m not sighing at him, I’m just trying to breath! He keeps asking me why I’m mad, what he did wrong and it’s simply me trying to get some air. Also, you are SO right about the positions, they last for minutes. Screw that lady w/the smile on the package. She must have a pillow under her top and not be pregnant.
I think that one of the things that nature does to pregnant women is to make it miserable to have a baby inside you right before it comes out.
That way you’re really ready to do whatever it takes to get that stupid baby the hell out of there.
It’s kind of crazy really. Every new pregnant mom-to-be is all happy and excited when they’re early in their pregnancy. Then right before the end the hormones or whatever change, the baby pushes on things it’s not supposed to push on and even the super-mommys are ready to punch the thing out of there if that’s what it takes.
This being my 29th week, I have trouble breathing pretty much all the time. I take a lot of deep breaths that are most commonly interpreted as sighs of discontent. My husband asks, “Are you ok?” I don’t know if he’s concerned so much about my breathing, or if he’s just wondering what’s currently ticking me off.
As an aside, this being my 2nd pregnancy, I STILL have yet to find a comfortable/bearable sleeping position. It wasn’t until I was in the hospital about to have my first son that a kind, generous, caring nurse propped several pillows around me that I felt actual comfort. I have tried in vain to replicate this protective pillow fortress. Will keep you updated if I actually find unlock the secrets that this wonderful woman knew. Hang in there, T!
OMG I’ve been feeling the same exact way! I just posted this on my Facebook wall. My husband just does not get it! I do love my snoogle but half way thru the night there is just no comfortable position! I hate the lady in the picture too! I wake up with a killing back every morning. And I’m 25 weeks so who know how the next 15 will go….
Yep; the suffocation feeling. I’m there, too. Your Snoogle is useless. You need about 5 pillows behind you to keep you at an angle, one between your knees and one to clutch up near your face so you can rest your chin on it.
As for the congestion, may I recommend the neti pot? – strange, disgusting and torturous looking device that has blissful results? I do it in the morning when I get up and at night before I go to bed. My husband is appalled, but it’s sincerely the best thing since pantyliners.
I keep thinking how bizarre and gross it is every time I do it, but yet how strangely and instantly addictive it is. It reminds me of the last line in 1984: “But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. She had won the victory over herself. She loved Big Brother Neti Pot.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_irrigation
Please be prepared to laugh hysterically at all photos of people doing this.
Please accept my gratitude for being the first on this blog to quote Orwell. I think I love you.
Hang in there Teresa. Picture yourself with a glass of wine and a Xanax.
Oy, even in your misery you’re hilarious and gorgeous!
Being pregnant blows. But once you’ll have the babe in your arms, you’ll probably think you could do it all over again in a heartbeat.
xo
Hey Teresa, I’m six weeks pregnant and you’ve really given me some great stuff to look forward to. Ha!
I’ve heard people getting relief from some of these symptoms through chiropractic or even acupuncture. Do either of those hold any appeal? Maybe not the needles, but then again, if you’re desperate…
I love it when you’re on Adam’s podcast, by the way. I miss the morning show. Lynette’s idea of a show with you, Adam and Dr. Drew is fantastic. I would be addicted to that show.
in the vid your man suggested something and you reacted confused and dismissive. both good reactions but i find the most irreverent shit works when in crisis mode.
Have you tried sleeping upright, in a reclining chair? That can really help with breathing, and it probably ain’t bad for the bowling ball presently torquing your back, either.
You are 2 weeks ahead of me and while I’m not suffocating yet, I can no longer yawn or breathe in a full deep breath and it annoys the *shit* out of me. It would never have occurred to me that my stupid Snoogie might help.
By the way, I gave up on the Snoogie helping do ANYTHING for the top half of me after 2 days. Now it lives on the lower half of the bed, having become the cushion I use between my legs. And I use a Wedge pillow to support my belly.
Please post any findings regarding breathing.
And thank you for admitting that hunting for a babyseat made you wail. I used your blog to prove to my fiancee that I’m “normal” in my random crying fits. I have rarely gone through this much kleenex in my life.
You rock.
I had luck with an osteopath but really Teresa you can take something. A unisom which is safe and used for morning sickness or I was offered Ambien by every medical person I saw in my last month.
I am sorry you are uncomfortable. I thought of you today, Im exhausted and just had my second son 6 weeks ago and my first is 3 and a half. I thought to myself no matter how tired I am or how little I sleep I am SO glad I am not still pregnant so it gets better I promise. Although, I never believed that my pregnancies would end like somehow Id be the one who got their own TLC hour “24 months pregnant”
I have one suggestion: an osteopath. I’ve seen women with this very problem experience instant relief after seeing an osteopath. Good luck!