Exploiting My Baby : A Blog by Teresa Strasser

I wake up every night with esophagus-searing heartburn and the sensation that I’m suffocating. I cry, smearing the mascara I was too lazy to remove on my pregnancy pillow. My husband tells me it will be okay, which he can now do without even waking up. I take a bath, eat a peach, listen to [...]

On the way to Vegas, things start to go wrong, as they so often do, at the Mad Greek. Within a couple of hours, I will be trying to locate the nearest hospital, but now I’m just waiting for the beefy, sunburned guy in front of me to stop yelling at the clerk about his [...]

Let me throw these two words at you: fecal incontinence. Now that I’m seven months pregnant, I have finally gotten around to taking a break from worrying about what kind of mother I’m going to be in order to get to the urgent business of stone cold panicking about how this kid is getting out [...]

Can’t breathe at night. Normal pregnancy symptom, I’m told. Still, it feels so torturous I keep expecting John Yoo to write me a memo. The good news is that this middle-of-the-night meltdown was captured by the Mr. If I’m going to exploit my baby, why not start now by exploiting my baby-related meltdowns? If you [...]