Comments on: Why I’m Finally Psyched to be Having a Boy http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/ Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:10:53 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Re: Gender Disappointment... http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-4909 Re: Gender Disappointment... Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:55:59 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-4909 [...] [...]

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]]> By: Cindy http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2813 Cindy Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:32:55 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2813 I don't think I've ever read in print the feelings I have toward my own daughter & mother. On some level you & I have the same mother & upbringing, & have the same thoughts of our relationships. To see how beautifully you can put this into words make me want to cry. I always wonder that if my son had been born first, maybe I would have been a better mother to my daughter who only brought about so much more anxiety, confusion, hurt & regret than I ever thought imaginable. I'm in no way the mother I had, a dismissive, unloving, absent, indifferent alcoholic, but if you ask my daughter, the faults I have and just as many but with different adjectives. I wish you the best of luck, Teresa, the memories of your childhood will never go away but one day you will look at your child(ren) and know you did a much better job than your mother did. The mere fact that it bothers you so much is proof of that, I know for a fact my mother never once asked herself if she was doing a good job. I don’t think I’ve ever read in print the feelings I have toward my own daughter & mother. On some level you & I have the same mother & upbringing, & have the same thoughts of our relationships. To see how beautifully you can put this into words make me want to cry. I always wonder that if my son had been born first, maybe I would have been a better mother to my daughter who only brought about so much more anxiety, confusion, hurt & regret than I ever thought imaginable. I’m in no way the mother I had, a dismissive, unloving, absent, indifferent alcoholic, but if you ask my daughter, the faults I have and just as many but with different adjectives. I wish you the best of luck, Teresa, the memories of your childhood will never go away but one day you will look at your child(ren) and know you did a much better job than your mother did. The mere fact that it bothers you so much is proof of that, I know for a fact my mother never once asked herself if she was doing a good job.

]]> By: SLD http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2639 SLD Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:05:48 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2639 Hi Teresa, I'm glad to read you've accepted the boy. I have a 2 yr old boy and he is the most awesome thing ever. He is so much more affectionate than my 4yr old girl. He is also more brave, daring, and smarter. I love my daughter dearly, but I can't stand her. My daughter is winey, emotional, pickey, and defiant. I stay home with them full time, so they get lots of attention. I don't know if it's her or me. When I have my son alone, it is a pleasure being a mom. He makes it so much more rewarding. I really with I would have had him first, then I would have not had anymore. Oh, I didn't even get to the difficulty getting her dressed everyday. She has to match everything, and has recently had an advertion to pants and shorts, only dresses and skirts. I can put anything on my boy and her never complains. I too had difficulty buying him clothes and decorating his nursery at first. Fortunatly a lot of stores have surfer/skater clothes for little guys now. I did his room all surfer dude and it was very cute. I did not like the teddy bear and sport themed appearal and decorations. Please excuse my grammer and spelling as I have had a terrible morning with my daughter and have resorted to bong hits in the garage, drinking makes my too sleepy. ; ) Hi Teresa, I’m glad to read you’ve accepted the boy. I have a 2 yr old boy and he is the most awesome thing ever. He is so much more affectionate than my 4yr old girl. He is also more brave, daring, and smarter. I love my daughter dearly, but I can’t stand her. My daughter is winey, emotional, pickey, and defiant. I stay home with them full time, so they get lots of attention. I don’t know if it’s her or me. When I have my son alone, it is a pleasure being a mom. He makes it so much more rewarding. I really with I would have had him first, then I would have not had anymore. Oh, I didn’t even get to the difficulty getting her dressed everyday. She has to match everything, and has recently had an advertion to pants and shorts, only dresses and skirts. I can put anything on my boy and her never complains.
I too had difficulty buying him clothes and decorating his nursery at first. Fortunatly a lot of stores have surfer/skater clothes for little guys now. I did his room all surfer dude and it was very cute. I did not like the teddy bear and sport themed appearal and decorations. Please excuse my grammer and spelling as I have had a terrible morning with my daughter and have resorted to bong hits in the garage, drinking makes my too sleepy. ; )

]]> By: Susan In L.A. http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2638 Susan In L.A. Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:10:31 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2638 T, I'm so glad you came to this realization on your own. I think Natalia Carolla made you see the light, although I tend to believe that Olga's Latina influence may be making her even more girly in a negative telenovela stereotype way. I find the marketing to young girls to be offesnive, and I think you do, too. My brother has three boys who are devoted to their mother in a non-creepy way. Susan P.S. Keith, Marty (Martin), Steven, John, all solid, currently underused boy names. T, I’m so glad you came to this realization on your own. I think Natalia Carolla made you see the light, although I tend to believe that Olga’s Latina influence may be making her even more girly in a negative telenovela stereotype way. I find the marketing to young girls to be offesnive, and I think you do, too. My brother has three boys who are devoted to their mother in a non-creepy way.
Susan
P.S. Keith, Marty (Martin), Steven, John, all solid, currently underused boy names.

]]> By: Brandie http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2631 Brandie Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:17:19 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2631 T- I have boy/girl twins that just turned four. While I have the best of both worlds, I can speak from experience: you will have a "mamma's boy". My son cries in the morning if I don't wake him up to say goodbye before I leave for work. For the first part of this third year, he would say, "Vince is mom's boy!" He wants hugs and kisses more than my girl (she is just starting to come around) and he LOVES pink! You will be a great mom. I can't wait to see pictures, and read the "mom blog". Oh...I almost forgot; I had the twins at 29 weeks, and other than being a little small for their age, they are perfect. So don't worry too much about what can happen with the delivery/timing/birth, etc; you will have a perfect baby boy. As far as your original concerns about being able to love, I would bet money that the moment you see him/hold him, you will cry. It was like a switch had been turned on for me, and I loved my children immediately; so much, I thought my heart might burst. Congratulations! Enjoy your boy! Brandie T-

I have boy/girl twins that just turned four. While I have the best of both worlds, I can speak from experience: you will have a “mamma’s boy”. My son cries in the morning if I don’t wake him up to say goodbye before I leave for work. For the first part of this third year, he would say, “Vince is mom’s boy!” He wants hugs and kisses more than my girl (she is just starting to come around) and he LOVES pink!

You will be a great mom. I can’t wait to see pictures, and read the “mom blog”.

Oh…I almost forgot; I had the twins at 29 weeks, and other than being a little small for their age, they are perfect. So don’t worry too much about what can happen with the delivery/timing/birth, etc; you will have a perfect baby boy. As far as your original concerns about being able to love, I would bet money that the moment you see him/hold him, you will cry. It was like a switch had been turned on for me, and I loved my children immediately; so much, I thought my heart might burst.

Congratulations! Enjoy your boy!
Brandie

]]> By: Stephanie http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2605 Stephanie Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:36:59 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2605 Great post. I didn't know you weren't speaking to your Mom. What happened? Great post. I didn’t know you weren’t speaking to your Mom. What happened?

]]> By: Kathleen http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2590 Kathleen Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:46:01 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2590 I went through the same grief after my OB announced "I see a scrotum!" when I gave birth. I looked around the room of new mothers being coached in the art of breast feeding and was jealous that half of them had girls and I would be a much better mother to one of their girls than they were. I now spend time playing trains with my two year old and watch him as his eyes grow big at the site of wheel loaders, cattipillar wheels, and construction workers. He thinks dolls are for wrestling and lives for riding the miniature railroad (remember Tilden Park in the East Bay?). Now I couldn't be happier that he will never be a 15 year old girl. Maybe your little boy will be gay, in which case, you could have the best of both worlds! He'll always love his mom. I went through the same grief after my OB announced “I see a scrotum!” when I gave birth. I looked around the room of new mothers being coached in the art of breast feeding and was jealous that half of them had girls and I would be a much better mother to one of their girls than they were. I now spend time playing trains with my two year old and watch him as his eyes grow big at the site of wheel loaders, cattipillar wheels, and construction workers. He thinks dolls are for wrestling and lives for riding the miniature railroad (remember Tilden Park in the East Bay?). Now I couldn’t be happier that he will never be a 15 year old girl.
Maybe your little boy will be gay, in which case, you could have the best of both worlds!
He’ll always love his mom.

]]> By: Seattle Kevinq http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2579 Seattle Kevinq Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:54:53 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2579 Funny how this post came a few days after you visted "bossy" Natalia at Adam's house! Funny how this post came a few days after you visted “bossy” Natalia at Adam’s house!

]]> By: Eric in Chicago http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2576 Eric in Chicago Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:10:06 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2576 Hi Teresa! I'm embarrassed to say this is the first time I've visited your blog. I've been listening to your old radio show for 2 years via the net and podcasting. I've always liked your banter with Adam and Bryan. Now I see how funny you are on your own. Best wishes to you and your family. You are going to be a great mom! Best, Eric Hi Teresa!
I’m embarrassed to say this is the first time I’ve visited your blog.
I’ve been listening to your old radio show for 2 years via the net and podcasting.
I’ve always liked your banter with Adam and Bryan.
Now I see how funny you are on your own.
Best wishes to you and your family.
You are going to be a great mom!
Best,
Eric

]]> By: amanda http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2571 amanda Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:02:24 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2571 AGREED! AGREED!

]]> By: Jen http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2565 Jen Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:16:28 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2565 I just had my second boy 3 weeks ago. In realizing I would never have a girl having assumed all babies were girls, as most baby stores seem to have as well, I realized there are many upsides. Not reliving my relationship with my Mom.. awesome. Being brought as a date to the Oscars.. incredible. Besides I think you just end up with what is right for you and while my incredible ability to do a french braid is mostly wasted on two boys with curly curly hair I am relieved there will be no teenage girl I am responsible for. We didn't find out with our first and when I saw the huge baby balls first thing it almost didn't sink in and then it hit me after holding him.. I just wanted THIS baby My focus for now is just not turning into my Mother in Law :) I just had my second boy 3 weeks ago. In realizing I would never have a girl having assumed all babies were girls, as most baby stores seem to have as well, I realized there are many upsides. Not reliving my relationship with my Mom.. awesome. Being brought as a date to the Oscars.. incredible. Besides I think you just end up with what is right for you and while my incredible ability to do a french braid is mostly wasted on two boys with curly curly hair I am relieved there will be no teenage girl I am responsible for.

We didn’t find out with our first and when I saw the huge baby balls first thing it almost didn’t sink in and then it hit me after holding him.. I just wanted THIS baby

My focus for now is just not turning into my Mother in Law :)

]]> By: Helen http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2563 Helen Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:23:42 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2563 T - As someone due with a boy in 6 weeks or so, but already the mom of a 3 1/2 year old girl, I completely relate to your initial feelings about questioning how much I wanted a boy to begin with. I love having my little girl, and feel I pretty much "mastered" her quirks (as much as that's possible)... but I've come to be excited about a house not filled again with pink and ruffles. Thankfully I'm not making up for lost childhood memories or a dysfunctional relationship with my mom (since I feel like she did a pretty good job, and we're really close)... But just knowing your personality a little, I'd say you're going to do great with a boy (I'm less sure of myself) - and with uncles like Ace and Brian, he'll learn all the important stuff about being a macho shithead, but still love his mama. T – As someone due with a boy in 6 weeks or so, but already the mom of a 3 1/2 year old girl, I completely relate to your initial feelings about questioning how much I wanted a boy to begin with. I love having my little girl, and feel I pretty much “mastered” her quirks (as much as that’s possible)… but I’ve come to be excited about a house not filled again with pink and ruffles. Thankfully I’m not making up for lost childhood memories or a dysfunctional relationship with my mom (since I feel like she did a pretty good job, and we’re really close)… But just knowing your personality a little, I’d say you’re going to do great with a boy (I’m less sure of myself) – and with uncles like Ace and Brian, he’ll learn all the important stuff about being a macho shithead, but still love his mama.

]]> By: abdpbt http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2542 abdpbt Sun, 21 Jun 2009 04:42:28 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2542 love, love, LOVE having a boy. No pink, no girly crap, no worries about having to be a good (gender) role model, no eating disorders, no jealousy over daddy, and man do boys love their mommies! It's like having a little boyfriend, except not in a creepy way, if that even sounds possible to you at this point. You will see! love, love, LOVE having a boy. No pink, no girly crap, no worries about having to be a good (gender) role model, no eating disorders, no jealousy over daddy, and man do boys love their mommies! It’s like having a little boyfriend, except not in a creepy way, if that even sounds possible to you at this point. You will see!

]]> By: Kelli http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2526 Kelli Sat, 20 Jun 2009 23:38:32 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2526 T, this post has hit home with me. I was also deeply disappointed when I found out I was having boys twice. Then later I also realized that I wanted a girl to sort of redo the type of girlie childhood fantasy I wanted. I would've pigeon holed my daughter into a Disney movie with a touch of Hello Kitty and girlie-stuff. Now I am grateful I have boys. I don't have to worry about lost barrettes, doing hair, navigating through the whore/madonna clothes shopping spree, and a ton of other things. I am madly in love with my boys and am glad that they are here. T, this post has hit home with me. I was also deeply disappointed when I found out I was having boys twice. Then later I also realized that I wanted a girl to sort of redo the type of girlie childhood fantasy I wanted. I would’ve pigeon holed my daughter into a Disney movie with a touch of Hello Kitty and girlie-stuff. Now I am grateful I have boys. I don’t have to worry about lost barrettes, doing hair, navigating through the whore/madonna clothes shopping spree, and a ton of other things. I am madly in love with my boys and am glad that they are here.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2492 Elizabeth Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:09:09 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2492 this is the SECOND time I have truly gotten comfort from one of your posts. First the weight gain issue, and now the "gender disappointment" issue. I also am having a boy, and have shed horribly guilty tears about it. I just do not click with that gangly boy energy, boys just seem so loud and smelly and...male!!! I had all those dumb dreams of girly hairstyles, and doing art and cooking together (yes, I know a boy may like those things, but chances are he'd rather wrestle with the dog) of pink stuff, and decorating, etc. The worst part about it is feeling so incredibly guilty and stupid. We're having a healthy kid, it is so UN-pc to feel this way, and I can't talk to anyone about it. We're not having another baby because of my age. I know I need to "get over it" and I'm trying, but everyone keeps saying how happy I SHOULD be. That just makes it worse. Adding to all this, I am just depressed in general, due to the hormones, I guess, and feeling fat and ugly. As did you, I have gained more weight than I "should" in my first trimester, and people have been free to tell me all about how I'm showing already! Wow!! That's so early! Are you having twins? At which point I want to kill them. I really hope things start getting better but am glad to see that you seem to be perking up in your second trimester, that really gives me hope things will get better for me, too. this is the SECOND time I have truly gotten comfort from one of your posts. First the weight gain issue, and now the “gender disappointment” issue. I also am having a boy, and have shed horribly guilty tears about it. I just do not click with that gangly boy energy, boys just seem so loud and smelly and…male!!! I had all those dumb dreams of girly hairstyles, and doing art and cooking together (yes, I know a boy may like those things, but chances are he’d rather wrestle with the dog) of pink stuff, and decorating, etc.

The worst part about it is feeling so incredibly guilty and stupid. We’re having a healthy kid, it is so UN-pc to feel this way, and I can’t talk to anyone about it. We’re not having another baby because of my age. I know I need to “get over it” and I’m trying, but everyone keeps saying how happy I SHOULD be. That just makes it worse.

Adding to all this, I am just depressed in general, due to the hormones, I guess, and feeling fat and ugly. As did you, I have gained more weight than I “should” in my first trimester, and people have been free to tell me all about how I’m showing already! Wow!! That’s so early! Are you having twins? At which point I want to kill them.

I really hope things start getting better but am glad to see that you seem to be perking up in your second trimester, that really gives me hope things will get better for me, too.

]]> By: Phoenix http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2486 Phoenix Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:41:25 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2486 Well, you'll also not have to clean poo out of a hoo-ha. Bonus! Well, you’ll also not have to clean poo out of a hoo-ha. Bonus!

]]> By: louisasmom http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2481 louisasmom Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:42:53 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2481 One more thing: who needs princess shit when you can go to plasticashop.com and buy the "Pony With an Apple Onesie"? So bloody cute! One more thing: who needs princess shit when you can go to plasticashop.com and buy the “Pony With an Apple Onesie”? So bloody cute!

]]> By: Jeanette http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2474 Jeanette Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:14:12 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2474 Love this post (well, I enjoy the whole blog); it was so honest and specific and real. As a non-parent, I have nothing to add except maybe my choice not to have children so as not to repeat my parents' many mistakes wasn't the way to go. (Excuse me while I go home and try to teach my cat to call me Mama!) Jeanette Love this post (well, I enjoy the whole blog); it was so honest and specific and real. As a non-parent, I have nothing to add except maybe my choice not to have children so as not to repeat my parents’ many mistakes wasn’t the way to go. (Excuse me while I go home and try to teach my cat to call me Mama!)

Jeanette

]]> By: louisasmom http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2472 louisasmom Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:51:15 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2472 Your boy will be perfection. Your boy will be perfection.

]]> By: Gillian http://teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/06/why-i%e2%80%99m-finally-psyched-to-be-having-a-boy/comment-page-1/#comment-2468 Gillian Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:30:24 +0000 http://teresastrasser.com/blog/?p=508#comment-2468 I love this! I don't know what I am having (I'm due July 17), but I think there is a part of me that wants a girl and is worried I will be bummed if this little thing pops out with a penis and my disappointment will imprint on his tiny brain kind of like how the scientologists believe. But after reading this, I feel super excited about the prospect of having "boys" to bring groceries home to and having a "that's my boy!" moment. yay for boys. the world needs more cool boys. I love this! I don’t know what I am having (I’m due July 17), but I think there is a part of me that wants a girl and is worried I will be bummed if this little thing pops out with a penis and my disappointment will imprint on his tiny brain kind of like how the scientologists believe. But after reading this, I feel super excited about the prospect of having “boys” to bring groceries home to and having a “that’s my boy!” moment. yay for boys. the world needs more cool boys.

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