Today’s Box Score: 39 Years Old, 23 Weeks Pregnant, 31 Pounds Up
In honor of my birthday, I bring you: my current pregnancy stat sheet.
Just remember, not everything is in the numbers. This pregnancy has big upside potential. Lots of hustle. Maybe I’ll get scouted to deliver in the minors.
Strasser’s Rookie Season on the Baby Brewers
2 hemorrhoids
2 bladder infections
3.6 emotional breakdowns
5 missed work meetings and therapy appointments due to pregnancy confusion
1 instance of locking myself out of the house in my pajamas
2 bra cup size increases
67 times I’ve Googled the word “Miscarriage” in combination with various behavior or symptoms
4 sonograms
1 first trimester screening
1 CVS test
2 genetic disorders found in my DNA
3 full bottles Cherry Mylanta consumed
1 bottle of Zantac prescribed (useless)
1 bottle Zofran prescribed (useless)
5 baby names still in the running
3 baby names squarely rejected after being roundly criticized (sorry, Shane)
1 shaming yoga teacher who said “this should be your last class” Namaste, m-fer.
1 extreme full body acne outbreak
12 containers Fage Yogurt consumed between hours of 12-3 a.m.
9 cups frozen grapes consumed between hours of 12-3 a.m.
16 hours of “This American Life” downloaded for listening pleasure in the bathtub during the dark, scary wee hours
4 tubs powdered organic bubble bath used
27 spins of the Talking Heads song “Stay Up Late.” Little feet-feet, little toes.
17 proclamations about my future boy, including, “He is going to love reading. And hate binge drinking.”
2 moments I stopped cold walking on the sidewalk. Paused. Had to stand still to really consider: What have I gotten myself into?
4 Ambiens taken (only when the doctor doles them out. Generally after a light waterboarding and a memo from John Yoo, he’s in a generous mood.)
T your 39 years old!! I can’t belive it! From all the other comments they seemed shocket 2. Good 4 u, u can pass for 30 easly. I’m 23 years old and I been in love with you sence u were on TLC and I miss u and adam in the mornings. Hey u r old a nuff to be my mother…and that’s hot!
TERESA!
ok, first of all.
big fan.
HUGE.
no pregnit huge.
but VERY LARGE!
AND was finally checking out yo’ blog
and i love.
love your fo’ rEALNESS!
and i just must tell you,
i just became a BIGGER fan
in learning you are 39.
seriously.
i was always a big
fan of yours and adams and bb’s
but there was always
TINY bit of “huh?”
involved in my fandom
just b/c i DID think you were 29
and i would hear you talk about
things like will i ever get married
and how you were getting old
and wanted a babe soon
and time was running out
(ok – that may not be verbatim,
but u git it…)
and it just kind of bummed me out.
i mean…its LA, not idaho?
and you just never seemed like
one of those grrrrrrrLS…
not that i am judging.
but being in my thirties (cRAZY!)
i was all…
“this 29 year old is freakin’ me out!
a. she is NOT getting old!
(not that 39 is old either)
if SHE is getting old, i am ancient
and if she is worried about
having the babes…
i should be terrified!”
and
and its so funny…hearing you
are actually 39 – its like a cloud lifted…
and just makes me
RELATE and likey you
that much more?
makes no sense, maybe.
but anyhoo….big fan.
HUGE : )
and so excited for you!
39???!?!!? no stinkin way! i knew you were kidding about the whole 29 thing, but i figured you to be around 31 or 32.. you look great, t. and now i kind of want to call you a cunt for being beautiful and young-looking, witty and charming and thinking your fat and ugly… jesus, woman! you’re pregnant and you look beautiful.. don’t give in to self deprecating thoughts.. good luck, t!!
Dear Theresa,
Thank you so much for posting this blog. I just wanted to share how important your story has been for my fiance and I.
Just before your announced your pregnancy toward the end of AC radio show, Glen had just started listening. Shortly after, we had just found out I, at 39 too, was pregnant with my first. Sadly, the pregnancy ended one week later at 6 weeks. Your announcement came on and you started talking during the show about how nervous you were and stuff you experienced those first weeks. Believe it or not, Glen felt listening to you really helped him deal with not only the pain of our situation, but to realize that we weren’t again to go for the joy of it and try again.
So, here it is June 2009 and I am pregnant again. The first time we told our immediate circle, but this time we will wait till I am little further out of the major danger zone. I am now back to experiencing your journey with mine, and I thankful to have a honest, not Pollyannish, point of view of this crazy ride we are all on. I look forward to hearing every moment you share with us readers and listeners and I just sent Glen your video post on vimeo, so he can see what’s down the road for us (I mean him-I felt watching it was exactly how I’m gonna be). Thank you again for choosing to share your story and giving this couple something to share together. In gratitude (and to hating a body free from acne too), Tara
B’sha’ah tovah!
noooooo Shane don’t go, don’t go Shane!
I loved your name choice
m
Ter-E-sa,
Thank you for your blog and updates on Adam’s show. I am also an over-achieving 30-somethingl who is convinced that it cannot be that easy to have a baby. I have a successful Asian husband and a well paying job as an archival librarian. We have just married and purchased our first home. I read your blog in anticipation of the road ahead (while googling Asian adoption websites). You look fabulous and your hair looks better than ever. I wonder, did you or batman quit drinking while trying to conceive? I have blamed my inability to procreate on my love of the Kettle One and my husbands penchant for the Belgian beer so far….
-Rachel
one of the biggest barriers to getting pregnant is caffeine consumption – take a peek at the book “the fastest way to get pregnant naturally” – great tips. enjoy the kettle one without fear!
teresa you are a sexy biatch
You look better pregnant than I do as a non-carrier! I really like you as a person, but I am feeling a little twinge of what you described as your reaction to Nancy O’Dell’s book! Listened to Corolla podcast last night and I must say…you are the person that I would want as my Mom! Your kid is going to be so lucky. You should actually be a little resentful of how fortunate he is! I agree with Adam that you are lucky not to have the stress of a little girl as your first no matter how much you yearn…we girls are a pain AND we are better emotional vampires early on. Having a boy first is like learning to ride with those training wheels on! We jokingly (and never within his earshot) refer to my 3 year-old nephew as BTK because he is so thrilled when he inflicts an injury on his older sister, but I kind of think he has to use brute force because she is such an amazing manipulator. Seriously, she would have been great in the early days of the papacy or the Inquisition, guiding them through their initial implementation. What would my nephew have been like if allowed to be the older brother? What a nice Mommy you are!
I truly don’t believe you are 39 T, I mean I knew you were joking about 29 and holding…but I wouldn’t have if you never mentioned it. As a 26 yr. old who could easily pass for over 30 (quit the vodka and American Spirits a tad too late) I am in awe of how well time is treating you. Also…happy to have more proof for my husband that I have at least a decade before I have to start popping out the babies. It’s been a hard sell.
Is your birthday June 9th too? My daughter Marlena (5) and I share June 9th birthdays as well. We went to Disneyland to celebrate and would have invited you along had we known – birthday admissions are free.
I’ve tried to explained to Marlena that since we share a birthday we’re twins, and since we’re twins we’re both turning 5. She’s not exactly buying it, but it’s a fun to argue the point with her. You’re welcome to be 5 too as an Honorary Birthday Triplet.
Pop me an email and I’ll send you links to our Birthday Twins pictures.
Happy Birthday to Us,
David and Marlena
Happy Birthday!!!
Wow, you went from 29 to 39 all in a single twelve month period? It must have been one hell of a year. Anyway, I wish you a (belated) happy birthday.
Happy B-day T!!!
This post made me laugh my ass off…..because i am right there with ya. I am now 27 weeks and had the acne, meltdowns, weight gain, you name it. OH googleing “miscarraige” got out of hand for me too. T be carefull with the name Sawyer… my cousin just put her baby in daycare and there are 4 (YES 4) kids named Sawyer! I think its going to be one fo the top 10 for 2009. Sucks because that is a CUTE name.
This blog is totally freaking me out. Do I really want to experience the “joy” that is childbirth?
I should know better than to expect sugar coating from you! But honestly I love it… F those women who make it seem like the greatest experience of your life. It is hard work and women who go through with it should be applauded with champagne and diamonds, not baby throw up and over zealous family members!
Happy Birthday, Teresa!
Happy Birthday!
“organic” bubble bath….sorry…uhm what the hell is that? free range soap crystals? LOL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are spectacular.
Hey T, which names are being considered? I really like the name Silas, there is my baby name suggestion for ya
jewish chicks are hot
Nice Cans T-Bone!
you’ve made it to the major league, baby. happy bday (I remember your 16th, by the way – the egg mcmuffins?) xo sugar
oh boy. i feel your pain. i’m 27 weeks pregnant and up 36 pounds. same shit happened with my first pregnancy. i eventually gained 55 pounds at the end of that one. but you know what? it all came off. pretty much by itself. i just had to say ‘hold the sour cream’ on my chipotle burritos, which almost killed me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
mmmm 2 bra cup sizes:) and i am not a boob man!
39?!?!
Happy birthday!!!
Don’t you mean *twenty* nine. Seriously T, you aren’t 39… gotta be a typo.
In any event thanks for sharin. -t
So i’m curious how hubby is takin’ all this… How does he feel about the impending arrival of new life?
And which names are still in the running?!
Loved you on the podcast the pther day- you’re always great, T.
A