Comments on: Inner Child, Meet New Baby, Please Don’t Smother It

By: Joseph

Joseph — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:38:29 +0000

I applaud the valuable information you provide in your post. I will bookmark your website and have my baby check up here recurrently. I am rather sure they will study lots of new stuff here than anybody else!

By: Azizeh

Azizeh — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:59:47 +0000

My mom wasn’t cut out for motherhood either. She wasn’t a hugger or a sweet-talker. For years, she stared at the computer screen, scouring the internet for a new husband while ignoring her kids. But, she cooked dinner every night and I could easily manipulate her by calling myself ugly. She took that personally, as if I were implying that SHE could have ugly children. She cared, she just claimed she was “all mommied out.”

About 7 years ago, she nearly died. After that, she was positive and loving. My best friend. She died 2 years ago, unexpectedly. No warning at all. I’m very grateful for those last 5 years of really having my mom. Even though she didn’t know she was saying goodbye forever, the last thing she ever said to me was “I love you.”

Not having a “real” mommy for the majority of my life made me really yearn for that. I know that if I am ever lucky enough to have my own kids, I’ll be the best mom around. I think you will be, too. You know what it’s like to not have it, you can’t take it for granted. You’ll absolutely love the shit out of your son. He’ll always feel safe because you’re around. He’s going to be the lucky kid that people like us were jealous of.

By: Marcia

Marcia — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:57:08 +0000

You can also take Fishoil pills to help prevent PPD.

By: Garrett Moffitt

Garrett Moffitt — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:40:31 +0000

After reading this, and the post about your step mom, I can only say you are really too nice.

My wife had postpartum, what helped her was joining a couple online mom groups to just talk to someone in a reasonably anonymous way. They said all the things I said, but coming from moms helped her. I suspect she was afraid to tell me she was having doubts and didn’t know exactly how to be a mom instinctively.
No one told her, or me, that a baby needs to be taught to nurse. When she had difficulties she took it as a failure.

Which reminds my, your husband will try to fix it, be kind to him. He’s a man, it’s all he knows to do.

By: nutmeg

nutmeg — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:57:41 +0000

No one knows if they are ready to be a mom. Ever. You might suck, but it’s okay. Give yourself a break. So you might get postpartum. A lot of us got that. Thank goodness there are medications that you can take even before he’s born to get your body ready for it. You’ll get through it.

Really, you’ll be fine. If you aren’t that’s okay. Batman is there and no one is or was a perfect mother. Just do the best you can. You mom did the best she could too. If she could have done better she would have. Perhaps she was too much up in her head — having two children in two years can seriously screw you up.

By: rcgawker.com

rcgawker.com — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:20:22 +0000

Hey love you on the adam carolla show.. Hope you’re on there more. I think your very funny

By: Leesa

Leesa — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:05:13 +0000

Dearest Teresa,

Take the anti-depressant now! I was freaked out about continuing to take them while pregnant, but it’s perfectly safe and you’ll cry less about carseats! Also, you are good at self-reflection, you will be a fine parent.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:13:03 +0000

Theresa,
I am joining in with the choir here. I was 32 when I had my first child. I know I waited so long because my parents were 20 and 19 when they had me. I can now attribute a lot of my not-so-great growing up experiences to that. I was worried that I might hit my kids, hate them for waking me, etc. And while there are definitely days that I have to put myself in a time-out, I am glad that I get to share my days with these two sweet souls that I have been entrusted to help navigate through life. It is the hardest and best thing I have ever done. I guess nothing worthwhile is less than that. So, even if you have a bit of post-partum depression, as I did with my first, you have wonderful support, and you are NOT your mother. Your therapist is right (and sounds a lot like my therapist…hmmm) And she will help see you through it, as will your husband. Hang on girl. It’s quite a ride and you are about to meet the most wonderful person in the world!

By the way, keep writing. You entertain and keep us sane. Thanks for saying what many of us think. It’s a godsend some days!

By: JJ

JJ — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:29:56 +0000

Wow. Very compelling essay here. About that postpartum depression thing. Yay. It’s a doozie. I’ve self-diagnosed myself as having OCD which is a form of it that is quite dangerous and unsettling. I’ve had it with all my three children. Never got any meds for it. Just a heads up to look out for it. You should pen a book. Later. Thanks for the linky love on today’s post too!

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:14:26 +0000

As someone with a completely different childhood than your own, meaning a mostly happy one with competent, in love (at the time) parents, I can still say that I was scared with my first child. Scared I wouldn’t live up to my mom… and super aware of the things she did that I wouldn’t want to repeat. I still say every day, “my daughter will never hear me say that I look fat or ugly” no matter how fat or ugly I may feel.

Even big as a whale with baby #2, and not a gorgeous as I’d like to be, my daughter has never heard me utter the word “fat”… and this is paranoia from someone with a good childhood!

As long as you’re determined not to repeat history, you won’t. Parenthood isn’t all that bad or hard – while i don’t ADORE other people’s kids, i’m more tolerant of them… and I’m still judgmental of other parents’ discipline techniques or rules. BUT I love and adore my own kid, more than life itself. You will too – i guarantee it as much as your shrink.