Exploiting My Meltdown

Preggisode: Week 11 from Teresa Strasser on Vimeo.

If I’m going to exploit my baby, why not start now, by exploiting my pregnancy-related emotional problems?

In this video, my husband tapes me freaking out during my first trimester. Someone told us to keep a video diary. Self absorption meets hormone surge and they get along great!

The Mr. is just a regular guy who works for a computer company, which is why he adorably, but unknowingly, shoots right into a mirror. Still, he does a decent job tamping down the tears. I’d like to say we’re kind of Sonny and Cher, but more like Sonny and Overshare.

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75 Responses to “Exploiting My Meltdown”

  1. Nic
    June 9, 2009 at 11:19 pm #

    T — I want you to stay pregnant forever. This is some of your best material! I miss you on Adam’s radio show but this blog is great because we get to witness this amazing emotional roller coaster ride.

    ps: Remember that no one is looking at your chest acne when you overwhelm them with cleavage.

  2. Tonya
    June 9, 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    Teresa, how cute are you? That was so sweet and it did bring back some memories! You look beautiful and you are so funny! What a wonderful husband you have… Thank you for sharing…..

  3. RonnieDobbs
    June 9, 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    This was really hard to masturbate to, then you started to cry and somehow that helped.

  4. Tim
    June 8, 2009 at 11:26 am #

    T –
    First of all – DAMN, you are funny and smart as hell. Your little boy is lucky to have you for a mama.

    Second, I heard you on Adam’s podcast last week, tossing around baby names, and you mentioned Declan, which Adam dismissed as “pretentious.”
    I have two boys – Simon is 3 1/2, and Declan just turned 2.
    I considered firing off an angry email, and then I realized that he’s right.
    :D

    • Sheila
      June 8, 2009 at 3:08 pm #

      Tim is so right – about everything. How funny you are – and also about the subtle point that whatever name you choose it will either be someone’s absolute favorte, the name of an old stalker, or one they want ot attach an unflattering label to. It only matters if you can imagine whispering it sweetly into the ear of your sleeping child as you pour them into their beds after a great day doing fun things.

  5. Tami
    June 8, 2009 at 5:52 am #

    Aww, T! You are so funny and as a fellow neurotic Jew, you remind me so much of myself.
    You DO look beautiful. I’m glad the nausea and rashes, etc. have gone away
    You’re my favorite on Adam’s podcast. I hope he has you and Bryan on very soon.

    Your hubby sounds adorable and sooo sweet.

  6. Rob
    June 8, 2009 at 5:35 am #

    T: Can’t believe one of these morning TV casting hags hasn’t gobbled you up to exploit your pregnancy. You’re about 1,000 times more funny than most of these airheaded makeup dollops, and a looker as well. If Wojciehowicz had the decency to be Hispanic, you could have ridden that last name, your looks, baby and comedy chops to the Today Show by now.

  7. Dave
    June 7, 2009 at 4:10 pm #

    love the blog! i don’t know why you are so insecure though! you’re smart funny and beautiful. youre like every guys dream girl.

  8. ChuckE99
    June 6, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    I love it. More!

  9. Maggie
    June 6, 2009 at 9:40 pm #

    Oh T, you are the absolute best!

  10. Kerry
    June 6, 2009 at 8:30 pm #

    I have been a huge fan for so long, and just had to respond to your video! I just gave birth 5 days ago to a baby boy (9 lbs 14.6oz & 21 inches long!) He is boy #2 and I could not be happier to have 2 boys :) I also believe life does not end, it can be even more fun with kids! I go to Parent Movie Mornings, concerts in the park with Wine, Horse races and baseball games with our son- he has been to see Alice in Chains, Aerosmith and Motley crue with us. Do not listen to people who say your life is over!

    As for the video, I hope it makes you feel better – I developed this lovely condition called Varicose Veins in the Labia- YES! It was like Aliens had deposited large peas and purple grapes down there – NOTHING could be more disgusting than that! I was embarassed to even go to the dr

    Hang in there, you are fantastic and gorgeous!

  11. Eric
    June 6, 2009 at 3:30 pm #

    I’m pretty sure that cheese fries also cure cancer….oh yeah, and mesothelioma….and maybe SIDS, but I could be wrong about that last one…

  12. Scout
    June 6, 2009 at 10:06 am #

    I do this every month – just having PMS…. I can’t imagine what a nightmare I would be if I were ever to have a baby!

    XOXO

    ~Scout

  13. Tricia
    June 6, 2009 at 8:56 am #

    LOL!! Teresa, you somehow made me wish that I were pregnant and be glad that I’m not pregnant in a 4minute, 44 second span. You are beautiful, clever, smart and funny, but it’s the funny that that’s going to get you through.

    My mom loves to laugh. She and my dad had 10 kids together over 19 years. She loves us all, but it was the funny that got her through one day to the next. (My dad drank. His humor was more cerebral and he was harder to please in that department. He should’ve had British children.)

    Thank you so much for allowing us in; you are hilarious.

  14. matt
    June 6, 2009 at 4:36 am #

    Theresa, Just wanted to say I agree with your husband. You do look great. I’m sure your kid will appreciate all the work you’ve put in to this pregnancy also. One more thing, my respect for you has risen considerably now. That posting of Dr. Laura’s vag was beautiful. I do believe you’ve got bigger balls than even Adam now! hahahaha. Here’s hoping for another teaming of you two together someday! Take care.

  15. Kurt
    June 5, 2009 at 11:10 pm #

    Oh Babu…

    Acne goes away, your boobs are rockin, and your boys will always love you more than you will ever know

    That being said…

    T you gotta eat…

    EAT…

    It bothers me to hear a pregnant mom comment on how she is snacking to much, if you were slamming big macs I would also be concerned but I have a feeling that you eat better than 99% of the population.

    You and that boy needs food and lots of it so eat up OK

    • Sheila
      June 8, 2009 at 3:17 pm #

      What’s with all the brilliant men around you T ?? Seriously it’s like brainiac central here ! I know I’ve posted before that during the barf-o-matic stage of my first 2 pregnancies the sweetest ex-hubby ever also had to deal with psycho girl from h*ll too – he used to literally get up every morning and plead in the name of all that is holy “Please just pick a personality and stick with it all day”. The humor was really the thing that kept the small arms fire to a minimum.

  16. Bobbi
    June 5, 2009 at 10:55 pm #

    You crack me up!!! I was the same way. My son is now 8. But I swear the more miserable and upset I get the funnier people think I am. I totally get you.

    Hang in there kido, just wait until you havent showered for 3 days, you feel so gross and you refuse to even wear a shirt over your nursing bra because you boobs are leaking everywhere and , hey, why do more laundry because you never leave the couch anyway. All you will be able to do is feed, feed and more feed. lololol I can laugh now becuase its over and I wouldnt change a thing about it. But dont let anyone lie to you….its gets worse BEFORE it gets better!!! HAHAHAHAH Love ya, keep laughing…..its the only thing that helps. :-)

  17. matt
    June 5, 2009 at 10:36 pm #

    it sounds strange but its really nice to see a candid face to go with the voice ive been hearing the past 3+ years.
    great video!

  18. Dirk
    June 5, 2009 at 6:55 pm #

    T.

    Very funny. Thanks for blogging. I miss you on the Adam Carolla Show. Have you picked a name yet?

  19. Carrie
    June 5, 2009 at 5:00 pm #

    I love this blog!!!! I’ve checked it like 5 times today because I read all of the content yesterday, when I discovered it. You’re funny as hell, and as a twenty-something woman I need a little pregnancy porn now and then :) Keep writing!

  20. Clint
    June 5, 2009 at 4:51 pm #

    Hi T,

    Just listened to your latest podcast with Adam Carolla. Just wanted to give you a name suggestion. Clearly, the best name for a boy is Clint.
    It’s also a manly name he can grow into and stacks well with any middle name. Unique, virile, and cool.

  21. jodi
    June 5, 2009 at 2:44 pm #

    Ahhhh…. the first trimester crazies- I remember them well!

    In an argument about well, I cannot even remember now, I made my husband pull over along the side of the highway so that I could get out of the car. He kept telling me how dangerous it was and to stay in the car. I got out, slammed the door, and walked my hinder the 3 miles home. Whew…. estrogen surge is an understatement!

    You look fabulous, sweets… hang in there! : )

  22. v8grrl
    June 5, 2009 at 1:33 pm #

    hahahahaha…
    I had the Zit the size of Montana on my STOMACH, T.!!!!!!
    I do not have a single picture of my “beautiful baby belly” because of it.

    I’m glad to hear I was not alone.
    and it’s NOT trivial…
    It’s damn Irritating isn’t it?

    Ps.. I haven’t gotten a break between zits and wrinkles…

    xo
    v8grrl

  23. Katherine
    June 5, 2009 at 1:26 pm #

    Oh My God! As if I couldn’t idolize you enough already, funny, smart as hell, pretty, and now this! you are AWESOOME!!!!!!!!! Seriously Effing AAAAAAAAAAweSOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

    you cutie thing you. sigh.

    • Katherine
      June 5, 2009 at 1:27 pm #

      I made a spleen and some bone marrow today… HA!! I am sitting in my office grinning like an idiot. Thanks. tons.

  24. Amanda
    June 5, 2009 at 1:20 pm #

    T, we love you. This was definitely the highlight of my day so far… I loved the t-shirt used as a tissue.

    Perfect. You will treasure this later.

    When I was pregnant I threw a crying fit similar to that when shopping for baby stuff in Target. My four-year old kept asking if I needed a hug, and I think my husband had NO IDEA what to do in the middle of baby-ville.

    Good time.

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let us see more of these videos!!!

  25. sugar mama
    June 5, 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    TUHresa.
    i laughed. i cried. i flashed-back. (and not in a good way.)
    you are awesome for sharing. awesome.
    xo

  26. Janet
    June 5, 2009 at 12:56 pm #

    Hilarious! Sorry you were miserable, but you were cracking me up

    (15 weeks pregnant myself)

  27. CCGL
    June 5, 2009 at 12:51 pm #

    hahahahah!!!! hilarious. so true. can’t believe you documented this shit! love it.

  28. Shauna
    June 5, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    Thank you for being so willing to share the horrors of the first trimester! I went through the same things and thought I was freak because no one warns you about the emotional rollercoaster of first trimester pregnancy.
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  29. Maria
    June 5, 2009 at 11:38 am #

    Teresa, I have never been more in love with you than I am now after having seen that. Glad to know you’re feeling better now. Thank you for sharing all this (exploiting all this?) with the world.

  30. Laura
    June 5, 2009 at 11:17 am #

    I died when I saw this. I have been a huge fan of yours and have been reading your blog since the Carolla show went off the air. I cracked up watching this and I have to say, it almost made me want to be preggers, so i could be freaking out and going through this with you. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I watched my friend go through the whole preggers thing our last year of grad school and it was eye-opening. Much love, T!!

  31. summertime
    June 5, 2009 at 11:06 am #

    Oh man, having zero control over your emotions and tears sucks. I’ve tried to explain it to people that haven’t been pregnant or, well, any guy, and it’s impossible to do so. It’s technically not going crazy if you realize it while it’s happening, right?

  32. Just Me
    June 5, 2009 at 10:23 am #

    Teresa, Teresa, Teresa. I love this. I had tears in my eyes when you started melting down, and then laughed through the tears when you reported the unfortunate event of your dermatologist vomiting even before your diagnosis.

    You still have that beauty (inside AND out) and can still keep your sense of humor, even during your tirade.

    I’m due with my 2nd boy on 09/29/09 and am having a lot of fun keeping up with your journey here. I also look forward to your exploitation continuing as your boy is born and grows. Love ya!

    P.S. I love the lavender t-shirt you’re wearing in the intro. I have three of them in different colors and could wear one every day.

    • T
      June 7, 2009 at 3:05 am #

      She was joking about her derm vomiting…Unless her derm is pregnant, too.

      • Just Me
        June 8, 2009 at 9:59 am #

        Yeah, I got that. Thanks though!

  33. Michela
    June 5, 2009 at 10:03 am #

    haha! This is awesome, and I’m bookmarking it for one day (in the very far off future) when I throw my own similar tantrum.

  34. Heather from MD
    June 5, 2009 at 8:51 am #

    Awww! You made me get all teary-eyed when you started crying. You are beautiful, even with acne breakouts. I don’t think you could ever cease to be gorgeous, Teresa. And just like Sarapdx, I thought your eyebrows and makeup looked AWESOME in that video, even with the tears and face-wiping.

    I was so happy to hear you on Adam’s podcast again the other day. I miss hearing you daily on the ACRS. I used to download the podcasts of the radio show every day and listen at work. Thanks for creating this blog so I can get Teresa updates. You rock! Your baby boy is so lucky to have such an amazing mommy.

  35. Anne
    June 5, 2009 at 1:47 am #

    I would kill to look like you, “fat” “acne” and all

  36. michael rutt
    June 5, 2009 at 12:03 am #

    oh teresa..
    even with acne you are sweet and funny. it is great that you would share that with people, i am sure it must help many. and it made me laugh..your hubby seems lovely. the fact that he let you rant was very loving…
    i wish you and your baby a love bubble to protect you forever.
    oh, and i heard the adam podcast…your line about ‘despair lovers pizza’ and
    ‘not crazy bread, sad bread’ had me rolling. i quote it to everyone..
    hubby was right … you are beautiful…big hug…

  37. Rxyl81
    June 4, 2009 at 11:40 pm #

    Rub a porkchop on her face! That was hilarious. I get the feeling that I will feel the same way when I become pregnant some day. It’s ok T. You are sane. Funny stuff and I’m sure another girl will feel better knowing they are not alone.

  38. Ant
    June 4, 2009 at 10:58 pm #

    Haha, I love this! I mean, I don’t love that you were miserable but you articulate your misery in such a funny way! On the bright side, at least you’re not one of those animals that stays pregnant for eighteen months :o )

  39. Brandon
    June 4, 2009 at 9:12 pm #

    Greetings, I heard you on Carolla’s webcast and you sounded sane there so I thought I’d check out your blog. This video was hilarious and demonstates the Number 1 reason why I got a vasectomy when I landed my first decent job with insurance after I graduated college. I was 25 at the time, I am 39 now, and have no regrets about getting snipped at such a young age. Granted, I have lost several great relationships when I finally told the women I was with about the vasectomy. I usually wait 6-12 months before I tell them (yep, I’m an ass). Keep up the blogging and videos I find them very entertaining and amusing.

  40. Jenny
    June 4, 2009 at 7:43 pm #

    You are my anxiety-ridden hero. And as a former acne sufferer, eat whatever you want, that’s an old wives tale, food doesn’t cause acne. You rock.

  41. Bucky Wheat
    June 4, 2009 at 5:51 pm #

    You need to get out of your own way. What I hope you take from this episode is how much your husband loves you. When our wives are pregnant there is no greater feeling, she is destroying her body (hopefully temporarily) for you. You are awesome and still very beautiful. If you were still single I would ask you out even though your 5 months pregnant. So keep your eye on the end, when you sit and stare at the little boy in your arms. It is all worth it. BTW – don’t think that the worrying and stress ends. It gets a lot worse. The worrying is just beginning. And it is harder when you are older because you actually think about what you are doing.

  42. Sarah
    June 4, 2009 at 5:42 pm #

    I loved this. All I have to say is that you have a wonderful husband. He is such a keeper!

  43. lainey
    June 4, 2009 at 5:39 pm #

    I am so glad I am not alone in not LOVING pregnancy. Thank you!

  44. chris-T
    June 4, 2009 at 5:16 pm #

    I was trying to sneak watch this at work (in between epsiodes of The real Housewives of course) and I started laughing and couldn’t stop. I pretended that I was having a coughing fit. Off to get cheez fries!

  45. desiree
    June 4, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    i’m sorry t…but i have to say it, you’re just so adorable!

  46. louisasmom
    June 4, 2009 at 3:48 pm #

    Oh. My. God. I thought I was the only one who felt super depressed when I was in my early pregnancy! I had wanted to be pregnant for so long, and there I was, FREAKING out cuz I felt so shitty. This video rules, it should be part of pre-natal classes so that other chicks can see that it’s ok to feel like crap, and that it passes.

    Meanwhile, hello gorgeous!!! Even in the midst of a breakdown, you’re just lovely!
    :D

  47. susanInLA
    June 4, 2009 at 3:19 pm #

    (WAY) more importantly, you’re still funny! I’ve shared “Despair Lover’s Pizza” at every chance since Ace’s podcast.

  48. Mary
    June 4, 2009 at 3:04 pm #

    T I adore you! You are absolutely gorgeous, and you have a very sweet husband, thanks for being such an open book!

  49. sara
    June 4, 2009 at 2:46 pm #

    aww theresa, you’re the cutest. thanks for always being true to yourself and allowing others to share your experiences. you’re the real reason why i listened to the carolla show every morning. :)

  50. Sarapdx
    June 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm #

    Thanks for your honesty. I feel this way on an almost daily basis—and I’m not even pregnant! I think you are beautiful. I wasn’t looking at your zits, I was checking out your awesome eyebrows and eye makeup application. WAY easier to say it than believe it though. This much I know is true.

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