Buh Bye.
I just lost my job.
You can even read all about it in the papers, which gives it an extra sprinkling of shame.
On the other hand, if you work in TV – unless you work for “America’s Most Wanted” or “60 Minutes,” your show will eventually get cancelled, as did my deep cable pop culture round up show “TV Watercooler,” which I co-hosted for the last two and a half years with comedian John Fugelsang. It wasn’t the most prestigious job (our show was featured on the top half of the screen while the bottom half scrolled through other, better shows you could be watching elsewhere) but it was a job. And though the show was only on half the screen, they paid us a whole check.
So look, I’m grateful to have had that TV Guide Network job as long as I did, and they were especially nice to me through my first six months of pregnancy. The wardrobe girls dolled me up to work the red carpet for the Oscar’s at two months pregnant, and though I was up 12 pounds, you could barely tell. Our studio crew always laughed when I made stupid mistakes due to pregnancy brain instead of getting annoyed, and the makeup team can shade the hell out of a puffy face and widening nose.
While this notion is totally at odds with all of my core personality traits, I’m kind of at peace with being cancelled, and I know it’s nothing personal, the network changed hands, it was time for a new direction, bla, bla, bla.
Still, while being unemployed is nothing new for me, being six months pregnant and unemployed is a bit of an ass kicker.
I mean, I know America has a fetish for fertility, but right now, I truly look like I eat my prey whole, like I just enjoyed a lunch of live jackrabbit and it hasn’t begun digesting.
In the last few months, I have had a few promising nibbles on hosting jobs, but c’mon, like the creators of “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” want to drop a pregnant girl in the jungles of Costa Rica? It’s not only incongruent with the tone of the show; it’s also an insurance nightmare. Same with a basic cable show about bad drivers that would crisscross the country, traveling constantly. I also went in for a clip show similar to “The Soup,” which would require a certain kind of snark that might not sound right coming from someone all “with child” and shit. Or maybe they just wanted a blonde. Who knows? I’ve been lucky so far, making a living in this business most of the last ten years, so I’m trying not to freak out.
I’ve supported myself since I was a teenager, but I’m not sure there’s enough hustle to overcome the fact that I’m hugely pregnant, and no tunic or monochromatic outfit is going to hide it anymore. America has been pretty amazing about embracing pregnant TV personalities, (Samantha Harris from “Dancing With the Stars” and that lady from “The Biggest Loser”) but they got knocked up after the audience was already used to them.
My dad once didn’t take a vacation for 17 years when he was an auto mechanic, and he worked six days a week, scrubbing his hands with that sandy white paste mechanics use to melt the motor oil from the cracks in their palms and knuckles. So, my model for how to be a worker is a solid one. However, my options might be limited for the next five or six months. Maybe the universe just conspired to give me some forced maternity leave, and I should trust that when this boy arrives, we’ll be able to provide for him. And mommy isn’t really all washed up.
Every single time a show ends, I always think that gig will be my last, and so far, that has never been true.
My husband is encouraging me to look on the bright side, as not everyone makes the “news” when they lose their job, so there’s that. Our final show airs next Monday.
Farewell, deep cable. Thanks for the memories. And the maternity clothes you’re going to sell me at half price. It really was a good – though deeply obscure – ride.
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Tags: Pregnancy
Sorry to hear about the cancellation of TV Watercooler. The chemistry between you and John was fun to watch and you both reported the entertainment news with the sarcastic sense of humor it deserves. It is just entertainment after all. You’re both very talented and I’m sure you’ll go on to better things. Best of luck to you. I look forward to hearing you on the Adam Carolla podcast.
T -
Let me just say that I can totally empathise with you. I’m 5 months pregnant and I just got laid off as well. Another victim of the economy, but still so difficult to comprehend. I am eager to get back to work quickly, but then I look down at my sprouting belly and reality sets in….Really, who is going to hire me when I’ll be on maternity leave in 4 months? I wake up each morning wondering what the day will bring me and I am slowly accepting my fate. I’ve always been so independent, so it is very difficult to see my husband dress each morning in a suit and go off to work while I lay in bed in my pj’s. I know this happened for a reason and I hope to learn what that reason is soon. Until then, I’ll try to enjoy my time and prepare for my little boy to arrive.
You will find a new gig soon….”as one door closes, another opens!”
T:
You have been noticeable and interesting in everything you have done but that TV Guide gig was just that – a gig – and you outgrew it the first day you took it. Given that I’m sure it was decent money, you probably would never have left – so – someone did you a a favor. It might be a little strange to be without a job – baby arriving or not – but as they say: “Necessity is the Mother of Invention.” Accordingly, you will now be pressed into using your fertile imagination and wit to come up with a vehicle that better demonstrates your talents. Or, you will have a great opportunity to bond with your little boy – when he needs you most. Either way – it’s all good and you will shine in the end.
I’m a few days late to the party, but it made for an interesting addition to this story. When I followed the Reuters link, the story of you being laid off was followed by a highlighted “Also on Reuters” article link titled, “Blog: Worried about losing your job? Have a baby!”
I thought you’d appreciate the irony.
I used to watch “While You Were Out” solely because of you (an early 20’s male with an apartment didn’t do much home makeover, but I love witty commentary) and was thrilled when you showed up on TACS. I’ll enjoy whatever your next project is too.
T
probably dont read this, but I’ll keep you 3 in my prayers. I’m sure everything will work out for the best.
You hang in there, T. You’re a seriously talented lady, and I’m sure your next gig is on its way.
—–Original Message—–
From: Dennis O’Rorke
To: TVWatercooler@tvguide.com
Cc: Dennis O’Rorke
Sent: Wed, Jun 17, 2009 2:40 pm
Subject: Teresa Strasser
To Teresa Strasser,
Well, I can’t say the cancellation came as much of a surprise, but that doesn’t make it any less depressing. When I noticed that the TV Guide Channel went from being listed right at the top of the page in TV “Guide” to alphabetical and then to not being listed AT ALL, that kinda gave me a clue.
I had previously noticed that there did not seem to be much activity at your personal website. So I am hoping that will be revitalized and can serve as a resource for tracking the next stage of your career.
What is wrong with those network executives? TV Watercooler. Great chemistry between hosts. In the”eye candy” department they had two hosts who were bright as all get out and one who was even prettier than Sara Silverman and without the cringe factor. { The one with the expectant mother glow. } Hope you continue to work with John F. The show was/is funnier than most comedies.
Lots of luck in the future and, if possible, keep me informed of your future appearances on television. Thank you for many enjoyable months.
Dennis O’Rorke
DAORorke@aol.com
the timing actually works out for you and thats good. but after listening to you and Adam for the past 3 years i cant help but get angry (like Adam) that you aren’t D-cup chest deep in job offers all the time!
smart, funny, cute and pregnant. the quad-fecta for tv awesomeness.
Damnit T, that is terrible. You will land back on your neurotic feet, enjoy your time off with your baby. Got to get it on! More podcast time, yes yes?
I’m so sorry, Teresa. Welcome back to the freelance writers club!
Teresa -
I’m so sorry about this. This really sucks and I hope that this door closing will lead you down a new hallway where you will find better opportunities knocking (did I mix up enough metaphors there?). best wishes on finding a new gig!
Valerie
T,
I know the name game has been going on. I had one I wanted to suggest.
Brian. It’s not “Bryan”, but it makes the reference clearly enough. And he’s a good guy.
And don’t hit your FAT ASS on the door on the way out!
kinda jerky
I think Frank needs to get a life and worry about his own fat ass.
it’s that whole half-full, half-empty screen metaphor again, isn’t it?
but, you’re right – probably a sign for better (and fuller) things to come.:)
let me know when you want me to send my fat photo again. always cheers ME up. xo sugar
Q$^$&^($&^($@^&$(^&^!%#%!$^$^
that sucks.
However, you are preggers! You should be thrilled!!!!
My husband has been out of work for over a year now. Lovely I know.
I’m so excited for your baby though. Now you can devote extra time to decorating the baby’s room.
enjoy this time off! can’t wait to see what is next for you.
I am so very sorry to hear about the job loss sister.
I am always AMAZING at telling people to look at the bright side (even though I don’t usually do it myself, I know what it looks like) so here we go.
There are so many people that would love the opportunity not to HAVE to work while they are nesting. To be able to spend the time preparing the nursery, in between veggie and pesto sandwich binges.
Just think about the bonding time you willl get with your baby and Batman while you are in between. I see this as an amazing opportunity for you and think you will actually be very thankful for the break in time that God gave you at one of the most amazing points in your life.
I am thrilled and scared for you all at the same time.
ENJOY
Bummer news T. With your talent and good looks, you’ll have another gig in no time. Keep us updated of course.
As a side note, Major Strasser was the ‘question’ to an ‘answer’ yesterday on Jeopardy. Thanks to you I yelled it out and got it before my smarty pants husband did. Nice!
How come you can’t get a gig on The Today Show or ET but people like Mary Hart, Kathie Lee Gifford and now (as temporary sidekicks on the 6th hour of the Today Show) the Real Housewives/Narcissists of ________ City/Season get to work? For that matter, how does Tucker Carlson have a job? I’m starting to really buy into those HULU commercials. There really are aliens running the networks that are trying to make me so stupid from TV watching that my brain turns to soup! If the real network news could be done the way you used to read through the news on the AC Show, I would actually be able to bear watching it. If you were the host of The Today Show and completely belittling a head of state you were interviewing, I would be okay with that because you have depth and are capable of writing your own cue cards and would even (gasp!) understand the issue being discussed. Matt Lauer, not so much. I feel ripped off because you are unemployed!
WOW, T! I know you will be fine and everything will work out. You’re having a year so far of ups and downs, though. Keep your head up. Your charisma and intelligence will land you something.
Sorry about the loss of the gig, but you’re an incredibly talented woman and I know that something else will turn up soon. Maybe hosting a show that takes up the entire screen! =)
Teresa, You are far too talented, beautiful, Smart and funny to be out for long. I look forward to following your work were ever you go!
Hey T-
Sorry to hear about the gigacide!
The journey continues.
Enjoy the respite and clarity.
Best,
Mark
Hey Teresa, sorry to hear you lost your job. My totally unprofessional advice would be to enjoy the time off while you’re “with child” and try to relax a bit. I know you’ll get back into it when the time comes!
that sux, you’re the best, good luck
Sorry to hear you lost your gig at TVGuide, Teresa. I will be more than happy to write a part for you in my (and associates’) series of shorts about a crimefighting Koala Bear. On the upside, we’ll work around you and let you play any kind of part you like. On the downside, we dont have a budget (as is reflected by the quality of the show), so you’ll have to pay for your own plane ticket to the most isolated capital city in the world.
Not much of a salesman am I?
Anywho, I hope you’re well for now. You’re witty and beautiful, so you’ll find a new gig easily enough.