Julia Roberts Has a New Tattoo
I do whatever Julia Roberts does. Except, you know, succeed and stuff.
Here is a photo of her latest tattoo featuring the names of her three kids, which just made the cover of the New York Post. The cover. Slow news day or important new cultural trend?
I don’t have any tattoos, mainly because I naturally look a bit trashy and I don’t have the skank wiggle room unless I want to give up short dresses and black eyeliner, which I don’t. Still, just because I can’t really pull it off, I’m not mad at the idea of maternal ink.
When Angelina Jolie did it (you’ve probably seen the tattoo on her bicep with the coordinates of the birthplaces of her children), it seemed like she was giving motherhood something it desperately needed: an image overhaul. I know moms are rock stars and superheroes, but they really needed the positive PR. With one tat, Angie made motherhood less Ziploc baggies of animal crackers, slow-moving minivans and stain-resistant slacks and more … badass.
badass
When she’s the fucking “snack mom,” those juice boxes might just be filled with frosty cold plasma. I know, scary, but not as scary as the prospect of losing one’s right to be, or at least to look, subversive. When I think “mom,” I don’t want to think haggard, beleaguered “mom bloggers” telling Oprah about their crappy, sit-com sex lives and zany diaper mishaps, I want to think of women being exactly who they were before kids, only better. Is that just magical thinking and totally unrealistic without movie star money? I don’t know. Real world moms probably want to punch Angelina and Julia in the face sometimes.
That being said, sitting here 18 weeks pregnant, it heartens me to see that loyalty to your kids can be communicated in many ways, some of them downright butch. I met poker player Annie Duke last week, and when she showed me the tattoo on her inner forearm of the names of her four kids, I went from thinking she was an insufferable braggart (“I’m superwoman. I raise my kids, I cook and I give a good blowjob,” she announced last week on “Celebrity Apprentice”) to thinking maybe she’s alright. Maybe she’s even the shit.
Pamela Anderson turned her “Tommy” tattoo into a “Mommy” tattoo, and that seems to say it all, or say nothing, I can’t figure out which because when you’re pregnant, everything seems both painfully poignant and confoundingly meaningless at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong. I know tattoos aren’t just for Marines and rebels anymore. I get it. Paris Hilton has ink and she isn’t exactly in a motorcycle gang, though if you watch the sex tape she does qualify as an “Easy Rider.” Paris isn’t cool anymore, and maybe tats aren’t either. After all, Octomom recently got an angel tattoo with fourteen hearts and an infinity symbol to signify her meal tickets brood, so that might ruin mom ink for everyone.
It all comes back to Julia and her backside. As Erin Brockovich says, “I don’t know shit about shit,” and I tend to agree, but I know I would trade the frightful notion of Ann Taylor knits covered in crumbs for even the illusion of ass-kicking motherhood in the form of skin and ink.
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Tags: Celebrity Moms, motherhood, Pregnancy
I have opted to go tat-free since the presence of one would pressure me to make the rest of myself cool. My not-so Angie physique would look weird wrapped in leather. So it’s Ann Taylor for me, on a good day. Good for you that you can resist, because time and Ann Taylor happen to a lot of us, even when Oprah does not.
So you think it’s a good idea to tattoo your kids’ names on your ass? I’m sure they’ll be very happy when they grow up and see where their mom thinks was the best spot to put their names.
I think it would be a little disconcerting to be having sex with your wife and look down and see the names of your children. If I’m married to a woman that believes this to be a good idea I’m going to threaten her with a portrait of her mother on my chest.
Hmmmm. Kind of over the whole tattoo thing, even on Julia Roberts. I know this isnt quite on the topic of “redefining motherhood”, but I think tattoos have about run their course in my book. To me something loses its appeal or edge when it is no longer different or special and gets co-opted by the masses.
Think back when you first saw Wayne’s World in the early 90s. For about a week it was really clever and funny to say “NOT” when ending a sarcastic sentence. Then everyone caught on. The idea was adopted by everyone, was no longer an in-joke, and your High School Biology teacher was using it. I guess the point is that at some point everything cool or clever or new gets absorbed by the masses, oversaturated, and watered down.
To me tattoos have reached that level of saturation. Maybe its because I live in a Southern California beach town, but when I look around everyone I see has ink. Its no longer a daring move for a girl to get a tattoo on her lower back. It used to be a cool statement that only the hardcore would have the balls to do, now its a rite of passage in your 20s. I like when the earlier poster said that they can really put a date on you as a person. In 20 years someone will look at the barbed wire on your lower back and say “so, you turned 18 in 2002?”. The problem with tattoos is that they’re permanent. Eventually everyone just stopped quoting Wayne’s World (well most people anyway). Its more difficult to quit having a tattoo.
If, and when, you decide to get a tattoo (which i’m fairly certain you will, as you do indeed rock) PLEASE avoid a picture of your childs face. names are awesome. dates are cool. animal representations are even sweet. but portraits are down-right SCARY. they rarely come out well and always make the hot mom look like trailor trash.
oh, and due to the location of JR’s ink, it is in the stereotypical Tramp Stamp spot, but given the fact that its not: a flower, a “tribal” design, a butter fly, or all three of those combined then it doesnt qualify as a true tramp stamp. “Might as well be a bullseye.”
I didn’t realize how much i missed you until i discovered your blog. You are awesome Teresa, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You need your own show. Congrats on your baby!
she does qualify as an “Easy Rider.”
Nice…
“I want to think of women being exactly who they were before kids, only better”
thank you thank you for that sentiment!!! I’m 11 weeks in and actively worried about the prevalence of beige maternity wear
My first, second and third tattoos were my kids initials. I love tats and I love my kids, so…. I don’t see anything wrong with putting your kids’ names, initials, nicknames on your body in permanent ink. But then again, I also believe the body is just a vessel to get us through this life and why not decorate it????
Really?
When Julia Roberts is 80yrs old & incontinent, does she really want to be explaining that tattoo to the poor sap that’s changing her diapers?
T – Glad to see your latest entry.
I must admit after seeing Julia Robert’s tattoo I somehow lost my interest to go get a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. The photographer must have captured her ink markings at a bad angle. Regretfully, I fall into the statics of thinking “tramp stamp” when I see tattoo regardless of the pride she exudes of her children. By the way, who do we thank for coining the phrase “tramp stamp”?
As with all your other minions, I agree there is a need for a PR overhaul on parents. I’m just not sure who is up for such a labor intensive task. Clearly, the infamous Octomom is out for providing referrals.
In terms of if/when/where you entertain possessing said ink, my two cents is to wait until you can smoke a pack of cigarettes and go back on the Xanax. I might be confusing the blogs I read, but I could swear you mentioned missing taking a drag.
You must be on drugs.
Am I the only one disturbed byt the fact that she put her kids’ names above her ass crack?
I’m so excited to hear you talk about motherhood and kids. I’m not a mother nor do I intend to be for a very long time. I do however, enjoy hearing about the long, crazy, stressful process of carrying belly fruit, for the time when I may be ready. I couple of my friends have tattoos of their kids names and I think it’s cute on them but I wouldn’t do it quite the way of putting their names or faces on me. I do think that it is a little tacky but my mom said one day she’d like to get a tattoo representing all 5 of her kids. When I asked her what she had in mind she responded ” I’d do it like the footprints in the sand, all 5 of my kids little feet and have a pink one for you (myself being the only girl)”. I thought that was a cute idea also a little different than banners and not tacky like a tramp stamp (not dissing Julia I love her!). I guess it depends on who you are and what you want inked onto your body. If you have never had a tattoo and you would like to represent your kids in a way that’s “badass” why not create a pretty, girly, mom-like tat. Plus I think you’d pull off a tat well T!
I’m due in 5 weeks and was sooooooo excited to learn that you were pregnant too! Unfortunately, the timing was such that you were off the air as soon as we all learned the glorious news, but I’ve enjoyed your two podcasts with Adam and your blog is simply amazing!
I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but was never sure what to get. Maybe this little kid will inspire me.
The sweetest tattoo I can remember to date, was a soccer coach of mine who had his kid’s infant footprint and birth date tattooed on the back of his shoulder. However, I’m not sure this tattoo makes the same impression for both men and women.
Good luck in your musings!
A noble tramp stamp is still the mark of trampery.
Indeed.
“Mommyhood” totally needs an image overhaul. It pains me to see people lose their identity when/because they have children. I think one of the most important things I can do as a mom is to retain my own sense of self, so that I can teach my kid how important it is to be a good human, part of society, etc. Because I am more than just a parent and he will be someday too! The more mothers that make themselves visible as the alternative to Lee jeans wearing minivan moms, the easier it will be for new moms to think that they, too, maybe, can avoid losing themselves when they have their super awesome kid.
Oh, and on the tattoo thing specifically– I had a few tattoos before I had my son anyway, but his name did make a pretty sweet chest piece.
…”When I think “mom,” I don’t want to think haggard, beleaguered “mom bloggers” telling Oprah about their crappy, sit-com sex lives and zany diaper mishaps, I want to think of women being exactly who they were before kids, only better. Is that just magical thinking and totally unrealistic without movie star money? I don’t know. Real world moms probably want to punch Angelina and Julia in the face sometimes.”
…when you area Mom, you will talk of diaper mishaps, it’s sad…it happens to the best of us…It even happened to me …I tried to fight it, it jsut come out…
v8
Gotta wonder how many times Julia Roberts made the tatoo artist spell check “Phinnaeus.” Nothing quite like tatoo fail. I’d pass.
Just read my post. Oh the irony of me misspelling “tattoo.” I suppose I proved my own point.
my six-year-old wrote and illustrated a poem in class for mother’s day. Under “I painted a little box and put in a teddy bear because it shows how much we love to bear hug,” is a picture of me trying to grab him and him vomiting blood and guts all over the floor. why I’d want to tattoo HIS name on my ass, eludes me. but if yours comes out half as nice, he gets a cheek.
Teresa, you should definitely do whatever you feel like. Maybe be more original, instead of getting the actual name tattooed get a symbol. =) I don’t know what thay may be, but you’re smart, you’ll come up with something awesome. Miss you on the radio!!!
i’m an untatood dad, and i think i’m probably better for it. tatoos generally are kinda cool for awhile, but then they date you. that chinese symbol for peace, or tribal armband, or tough-guy saying, really says “i was cool in 1998″ more than anything else.
as for tatoos for my kids, whats the point? if i need a tatoo to say “i’m a proud dedicated parent,” then maybe i’m not doing such a bang-up job of actual parenting. i’m not some kind of tatoo hater, my wife has one from her younger days, she’s very ambiguous (sp?) about it now, mostly forgets its there, just an ankle peace sign. i just don’t see a real good reason for it.
Teraysa, (sorry, I can’t help myself, I love your father’s voice and how he says your name) you will be a kick-ass mom. If you think a little ink would make you feel kick-ass, go for it. In my humble opinion, for the sake of your son, if you want his name on you somewhere I’d put it somewhere discrete. Think of how intimidating it might be to a future girlfriend/boyfriend to meet her/his lover’s mom and see his name tattooed on her. Heck, even picking the kid up at school he could be embarrassed for his friends to see his name tattooed on his mom. (“What, was she afraid she wouldn’t remember your name?) In the case of octomom I’m surprised she didn’t have the names of the fourteen kids inked on her so that she COULD remember them all. I wonder if all 8 of the new babies still have the names they started with or if she has mixed them up a few times. (Okay, I know I’m being mean.) Worry not my friend, you’ll love being a mom. I really don’t know why so many people like to complain about it and allow themselves to feel/look haggard.
add a letter to your necklace…skip the tats
i sooo miss you and Adam..what wonderful chemistry…where can we hear your voice again? archive of you on air anywherE?
JUST 22 MORE WEEKS TILL BABY. its a BOY.
You can find the Adam Carolla Radio Show KLSX archives in Zune’s podcasts, so I’m pretty sure that means iTunes has them, too.
“Octomom recently got an angel tattoo with fourteen hearts and an infinity symbol to signify her meal tickets brood, so that might ruin mom ink for everyone.” – LOL ! Made my day, Teresa !
It was great hearing you and Bald on Adam’s podcast last week. Hope you’ll be on again soon.
Yeah T……………