Jon & Kate + 8 = schadengosselinfreude
Look at me, look at me, look at me.
Dr. Drew says Kate Gosselin is nuuuuts.
Ok, he has no comment on Kate, but it’s fun to connect the dots. More on that later.
At first I thought our communal obsession with Jon & Kate was just a simple case of schadenfreude. They put their lives on display and now it’s “Ha, ha. Little Miss post your husband’s favorite biblical verses on your website is in a little imbroglio.” She wanted us to watch her every move, she needed us to soak up her lectures on raising a brood of baby miracles, she craved our gaze, needed us to validate and celebrate her gauzy, TLC-ified daily life of maternal heroism. And now we get to watch her fall. Sweet.
Because we are human, I theorized, we simply delight in her pain. Now I’m thinking all of this probably hurts so good.We may relish the suffering of others and thus embrace Jon and Kate hate, but that doesn’t mean that where Kate is concerned, there is any actual suffering. I’m starting to wonder if in the bang-covered eyes of Kate Gosselin, Jon’s alleged cheating and the country’s newly intensified obsession with her, just turns up the heat on the saucepan of spotlight to which she probably feels she is entitled. And the bubbling feels just about right.
In their 2006 study on narcissism, Drew Pinsky and Mark Young found that celebrities from reality television score the highest on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). Pinsky posits that reality show producers purposely select subjects with psychological problems, because they will bring extra crazy to the proceedings. You combine a possible pre-existing mental condition with multiples, and you’ve got a massive cable hit that mingles the thrill of observing someone with a personality disorder with American’s new favorite genre, fertility porn.
So, based on Dr. Drew’s findings about reality stars, it’s likely that Kate entered her reality TV life as a full-fledged narcissist, a state not so much characterized by self-love, he says, as by self-loathing and emptiness (wait, remind me to take that NPI thingy). And in that context, being on the cover of every tabloid and weekly magazine is probably not as jarring for her as it might be for say, Elizabeth Edwards.
To see one frame of Kate is to recognize that attention is her oxygen, and that as unpleasant as this infidelity scandal may be, it is filling her lungs with a full breath of the good shit.
Teresa,
I hope you don’t mind an extra plug for the blog, as I felt compelled to include a link to this entry on the TV site I contribute to, Give Me My Remote. I assure you that I am not using this forum to promote the web site. Instead, I have grown very concerned that J&K have become the symbol for our society’s disjointed standards for decency and family.
http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/jon-kate-plus-8-season-premiere-this-could-be-our-last-family-picture/#comment-220842
The conclusion to your piece was poignant, and a thoughtful red flag to alert us all that we could all do a little less “looking” at Mrs. Gosselin. As the audience for her adventures shrinks, her children will benefit.
Wonderful work,
Erik
i too have some how or another gotten sucked into the jon and kate plus 8 sickness. i travel a lot for work and spend many a night in a hotel room . and though at first when i saw the show i thought, ‘who would watch this crap? a bunch of screaming kids – yikes!’…i have since found myself wrapped into the marathons as well.
it’s such good background tv while i’m returning emails and then 4 hours have passed and i have followed the gosselins to the dentist and back, skiing and back, etc., etc. i try not to judge relationships or parenting b/c i have learned that there’s always more to it than an outsider can see. i have no doubt that kate loves her kids. but she is very attention hungry.
i just watched the premiere last night and you can just tell that she is eating up the attention and that is sad. she is commenting on the paparazzi chasing her. she claims that her kids are not allowed to use the word, paparazzi, but she uses it in front of them. i think the paparazzi is sick and it’s sad that they are photographing the kids. but through the episode, she continues to comment on the paparazzi and brings attention to them. she reminds me of dina lohan, which is frightening. good luck kids!
All I can say Teresa is that if we had teachers that were as intelligent and insightful as you are in your writings, the United States would have the best education system in the world….
Can I get a Hallelujah brother ! Wouldn’t you love it if your kid has Ms. Strasser or Mrs. Batman for Comparative American Lit ? Heck, I’d love it if my kids would have had her for Health class. Teaching kids to actually THINK is waaay more important than when the Magna Carta was signed. Though I went to school when learning such scintillating facts were a requirement and make me lethal at “Trivial Pursuit” … I refer them now as “facts occupying the space that “where are my car keys” should be stored. I am desperately reaching an age when I’ll be found wandering the streets in my boyfriends underwear ranting about the Fertile Crescent of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers because “FIRST put your clothes on THEN leave the house, your car keys are on the hook by the front door” … will have been lost forever. Go ahead and laugh you twenty somethings… aging ain’t for sissies.
I can’t get enough of the scandal. I’ll definitely be watching the sugar coated season premier on Monday.
yeah…kate is an evil wench…lol.
the kids are the ones that will suffer from his cheating…
morons
Hey Christine !
Nah … I’ll bash CA with the best of them. Lotus land leaves much to be desired in soooo many ways – my point albeit poorly articulated was that those “pay-attention-to-me-because-I-can’t-figure-out-human-reproduction” shows are filmed in states where it is entirely permissible to whore out your kids for fun and profit. It isn’t saying much about Col-i-for-nia as the governator says that one of the only ways we can hold our head up is that we require whored out children to be paid in parent protected accounts. I’m not a native, so I’ve lived other places in the US and have lived with Southerners, Midwesteners and a minion of sensible others. We are absolutely plastic people central, and we have no shortage of disgusting family anihilators and crazy teen or crack Mom’s claiming someone abducted their precious toddler only to find out they themselves killed them and left them in the desert. We probably shouldn’t forget the children victims of the meth factories across the state, if the toxic poison doesn’t kill them Daddy’s psychotic “business partners” can kidnap and kill them. Yep Christine – people who should be forcibly sterilized live in every US zip code
“plastic people central” I love it! great phrase.
AAAhhhh I follow and agree….Let’s not even get started about the South..bless their hearts.
Shelia, I now want to read your blog too.
I feel like we could all go out for lunch and have a great time. (Can you tell I don’t get much girl time out lately?) Teresa, you will love having a baby and raising him. It’s an amazing experience. My kids are amazing but wow sometimes you need to remind yourself (like I am doing now) to take yourself out with your girlfriends for some much needed time off from being a mommy.
AMEN!
Hi Christine,
I’ve been really giddy over the fact that pretty much everyone who loves T is someone I’d go for a Latte with
. All the guys who post on her blog remind me sooo much of my favorite brothers (I have a lot but two are diamonds) and the women for the most part remind my of my friends. I have a small group of friends (known as The Ladies who Lunch) because we all met 25 years ago at a job (were we did go to lunch and the name was spawned), but we’ve stayed friends all these years, through marriage, the birth of our kids, sadly a few divorces, and now we gather for dinner and talk several times a year.
I wish I were smart enough or funny enough to have a blog ! I am in awe of T. and those like her who are so outrageously funny – but so blisteringly honest that you just MUST think about the topic she’s offered up.
It is hard to maintain your identity beyond “Mom” …. but now that my kids are getting older (one in college, one entering HS) it is getting easier, they would prefer you become a vapor Mom (one capable of filling the fridge and their gas tanks) but otherwise invisible unless “summoned” to an emotional crisis. It was a weird downshift from having to do everything, to realizing that everyone is waiting for you to leave the room LOL …. It’s been a long strange trip indeed.
T I can say that now after reading your article and these comments. I’m not only in love with this website but I’m in love with the other website repliers’ (is that a word?)!! However, Sheila, are you really saying California is a great place to live??? Yes, you have the ocean but c’mon, have you seen what most celebrities look like??? (http://famousplastic.com/) Please don’t be one of those people who think the midwest is just filled with Duggars and Gosselins. I love my home in the midwest and it’s not full of these nuts…yet Good DAY
Christine and Sheila,
The plastic people live in a very small area of the very large state of California. Please do not stereotype the millions of normal Californians as the many freaks in LA. California is not only full of normal families and non-plastic people, its a huge agriculture state that has more in common with the Midwest than you may realize. We all don’t live by the beach, and most of us also make fun of the psycho-land called LA. I am so sick of ignorant comments about Californians and being lumped in with Hollywood. Look at a map lately? Most of us do not live in LA.
Hiya N-hater,
Strange choice for a stage name … but whatever. I don’t “lump” all Californians in with the crazy folks that fill the tabloids. But you must come to terms with the fact that most stereotypes have some fiber in fact. While sweet loving normal families live everywhere and narcissistic plastic surgery addicted pseudo-people live everywhere too … CA DOES provide a huge stage and industry to draw them and pay them. There’s also a little bit of information that seems to have escaped you n-hater – not all people who live in Los Angeles are plastic tabloid fodder. We are normal Mom’s and Dad’s – buying groceries, fixing dinner, starting Theater Arts programs at our children’s schools, cheering them on at their Dance Guard competitions, trying *really* hard not to cry at their high school graduations. Just because I live among the plastic people doesn’t mean I’m a zombie unable to avoid plastic surgery, trendy nightclub misdeeds and fad of the week behavior. For what it may be worth, though I’ve lived in my plastic paradise for more than 30 years I grew up in a place where there were more cows than people and that fact was so intriguing to the locals that it made the front page of the paper. I guess the difference between those of us who live here and those who live other places, is that we know that the world is a very, very big place, filled with all kinds of people and it would be much sadder if that weren’t true.
Hey Sheila, Yes I know many people in LA are normal family lovin suburbanites like me, which was exactly my point. Theresa is a prime example of non shallow intelligent strong minded types that DO exist in LA. I am quite aware not all So-cal folks are lip injected and shallow freakazoids.
California does not provide the industry, the greater Los Angeles area does. People and industries in central and nor-cal are not part of the draw. I always enjoy the time I spend in so cal but I get so sick of being stereotyped and lumped in with an area that does not represent where I am from.
Hiya Molly,
What makes someone a good mother ? Kate is waaay beyond a little OCD… she flies into rages over minor stuff that caused her all her original film crews to quit (public record), and her family helper to fade into the background. She has shut out her entire family, including her father for the egregious crime of offering donated cribs and baby items when the tups were first born (she told him no deal, she wanted only new matching cribs and cash). How could you put your minister father in the position of telling his congregation that their generosity and good wishes weren’t good enough. She talks about her “struggles” to become pregnant ? Oh please .. they hadn’t even been married two years when they had their twins via fertility treatments. By her own words, Jon wasn’t ready for more kids yet, but she decided that it was going to happen and that … was that. Who does this to their supposed partner ? I don’t think infidelity of any kind can be explained away, but what kind of a narcissistc shrew do you have to be that when the story broke that your hubby may have dangled his dilly in the sorority .. that your YOUR OWN BROTHER and his wife, race to his defense and let the world know that he wasn’t the first one to bale on the marriage vows. Neither of them are acting in a way which makes them deserving of those kids. Kate is gone more than she is home, speaking and touring with her book. I’m a single Mom that’s worked everyday of my kids lives – but I DID make a choice to take less money / travel to be with my kids while they were young. The thing that sickens me the most is that Kate continues to sell herself on the Christian market. Nothing what so ever is christian about her, her marriage or her mothering. Just a big sham. Again, I wouldn’t care less if she wanted to start turning tricks on Santa Monica … I ONLY care that there are 8 lives that NEVER asked for any of this who are being packaged and sole as commodity to feed their mothers bottomless narcissism or BPD.
I find that most spokepeople on the Christian market as you call it are not terribly christian when shown in a bright light.
The people I find that are the most Christian in their ways, rarely ever desire to have themselves set up as an example. They just go about their lives giving of themselves happily and quietly.
Whew Shelia, you sure do know more than I do on this subject. Truth be told, Im not a mother. I certainly have no experience as you do, I only watch the show. But I don’t follow the tabloid stuff (while it might be entertaining, I wouldn’t believe everything I read) I just watch the sugar coated version on their show. I think i like that type of Gosselin family more. I do agree with you about the whole Christianity bull, that does make me a little nauseous. But I don’t see how she is a narcissist. Being on a television show automatically make her a horrible person? That I don’t agree with.
Hi Molly,
I don’t claim expertise on this family, and I’ve never bought a tabloid in my life (not saying that is good or bad). What makes her a
with being TV fodder and that doesn’t make her think “is this rihght for my kids” If you watch the show as you say you do, then you clearly know sh shows complete favoritism on natrional TV. Instead of seeing Mady ‘s pain, she strikes it up to “typical Mady behavior”. Her husband has told her MANY times he doesn’t want to do this anymore. Again, only Kate’s wants and desires are considered, all you little people should shut up and let me have my stage. By Katie’s own words, she was gone 21 of 30 days leading up to the taping of the season opener. “Good mothers” do their jobs 7 days a month ?? I dunno … maybe I was just stupid to consider it my primary responsibility and now I’m just jealous because I could have had three week away from my kids every month and held myself up as some parenting guru. The way she’s talked to Jon on camera for three years can not be excused in any way – and there’s no “maybe the kids misremembered” to use a phrase from a certain former leader of the free world – it’s on tape – forever, forever in cyberspace on youtube. They can never ever deny that their mother was a venamous shrew. They will also see over and over her clearly favoritism, it’s inexcusable. Above and beyond all the things which this woman had in her control – unfortunately … TLC has to bear some responsibilty for the octo-mom disaster by cannonizing these abomjination of nature
note to self, never text while in a moving vehicle even if you aren’t driving.
Sorry for the typos.
=S
I think the first statement you made in response to my comment was very insightful, “What makes someone a good mother?” I think that is a very good question. No one is perfect. In all honesty I don’t know why we are debating this subject. I guess I just feel bad for her. All the horrible comments people are making, no one deserves that. Especially for a person who is raising 8 children, and in my opinion does it well (NOT perfect or to all of YOUR standards). I guess when I first started watching the show I admired how she was so organized, and how much she loved her children. I don’t really see what you see in regards to the favoritism she shows her kids (I think that both Jon and Kate handle Mady in the same way, ignoring her tantrums and trying to show her praise when she is positive), but then again we have to realize that we don’t know these people. I mean they could be totally different when the camera is off. Personally, I don’t think I would agree to having a reality show if I had 8 children, I can’t imagine how hard that must be and because of that I cannot judge her. I think that she is having a good day everyday she doesn’t go insane. But I guess most of you think she is already there. And I don’t see what you mean when you say she is a “parenting guru”, I haven’t read every book she’s ever written but from what I have read it’s about her experiences. I don’t think (and like I said I’m not a expert on her life) she has ever claimed to be a guru on anything. And I do know what you mean about her sometimes nagging on Jon (ok she does it quite a lot) but he does it quite often too. I admit that I fight with my partner a lot too, an if a camera crew where following us around our daily lives it would be a little embarrassing to see some of those squabbles. But I think that it only shows the truth of every relationship. Everyone fights, everyone nitpicks. Unfortunately I didn’t even watch the season premiere, which it sounds like you did Sheila. Maybe I should catch up on the “tv fodder” and get back to you on it. Oh and did anyone think that maybe all this drama is so that we will do just that, watch the season premiere???
For once I disagree with you. I do not think Kate is a narcissist at all. Sure she might be a little OCD with things, but I think that for having 8 kids, she is a really good mother. I think its extremely sad about all the controversory surrounding them….but I have a sad feeling that he is cheating.
Yeah this latest curfuffle is just that the latest and maybe more national. I have family and friends that live in the same area as these two “parents”, and ever since that show went on the air (I have gratefully avoided viewing it) they have been talking about what a sham it is, what a horrible person this woman was even before she had those kids, and what a nightmare she has become since getting them.
All second-hand chatter, and I chalked it up to just that, but now that all this has come around, the consistency of it tends to make it ring loud and true. And I think Dr. Drew has it right, the very willingness to have one of these shows come into your life I think demonstrates a character flaw.
I love to read your thoughts.
I’ve now bookmarked you under my “Entertainment” folder.
You’re dead on. I’m just concerned for the kids. Between this hot mess and Octo-mom I can see 16 young adults in the future working this chaos out in therapy or self medication.
Hi T,
I totally agree with your assessment that Americans love to tackle “heros” we discover to have clay feet. From the first episode I ever watched of this debacle, I cringed that sociopathic family dynamics are now served up as entertainment rather than treated as illnesses that should be healed. Honestly, back in the day, whaddya think the chances that your step-monsters abuse of you and your sibs would have been sought after from prime time entertainment – hell … the members of your own FAMILY looked the other way to avoid vomiting in their mouths. Ditto the lovely DNA cesspool I fortunately escaped from. I cannot understand how as a society we can encourage these parents from financially exploiting their kids. It may be of interest that almost all the litters-of-kids shows are filmed in states like PA or OK … because here in CA they COULD NOT DO IT (see Octomom’s next court date for the exploitation of her kids). These children are their parents ONLY source of income. They will also have a legacy that will NEVER go away of their mother verbally abusing and castrating their father – ON NATIONAL TV. Tell me THAT won’t result in 10 years on a therapist couch for the three boys at least. It seems clear (not because it’s tabloid speculation, but because their own family members have come forward) that BOTH Kate and Jon have been unfaithful to their marriage, that they have not shared a bedroom in years and that the whole charade has been for profit. But already two of their kids are in school – how would you have liked your personal hell to have been lunchroom conversation “So T, I hear your stepmonster thinks your a lazy klepto” … my motherly heart bleeds for these kids. All the fantastic trips they’ve taken for the show CAN NEVER replace sincere love from a parent and seeing a healthy, loving example of a relationship from your parents. I want TLC to stop already with the Duggars, the J&K plus 8, Table for 12. Even if we are a market for this, we shouldn’t be, and we should be ashamed that we are destroying children for fun, profit and entertainment. This is absolutely no different than circus sideshow freak displays. We all need a giant national mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
Thank G-d we have rules in CA that prevent this – and thank G-d for the tireless efforts of such groups as A Minor Consideration for always, always, always putting the children first.
Wow … Ok … so maybe this hit a bit of a nerve SOOOO sorry for the rant.
I have only seen clips of that show on the Soup and even those were enough for me to handle. However you are so spot on & I am sure we will hear more about here, unfortunately. Thanks T!
Dude Kates a b*tch.
You’re awesome T!
You know . . .I doubt either one set out to be reality stars hoping to one day be on PDiddy’s guest list.
I believe they lost sight of what got them there – - love for each other and love for their family.
Challenges and arguments arose under the pressure of the camera crews and screaming kids. Like Nick & Jessica, the show was tearing them apart before our eyes. Wishing it could end, they fell victim to the lure of money and gradually increasing fame. – both chose to sell their soul to the devil and stay on the ride they knew would eventually hit a brick wall.
They simply lost sight of what mattered most – their family.
I dont find it funny at all – i find it very sad. And right now, i bet they wish they could do it all over again without TLC in their grill.
Keep in mind, Jon was only 27 by the time he had EIGHT children. Talk about zooming straight out of one’s “wild and crazy” years instantly into “raising an enormous family” years. I actually feel for the guy. Something in him is attracted to the strong woman Kate is, and whatever it is, it’s the same thing that prevents him from barking at her when she gets carried away. But I wonder if he had the chance to mature a bit more before diving straight into getting married if he would have made the same choices.
Okay you have to forgive…i really have no idea who jon and kate are because you guys went off the air and i have no tolerance for any other show…I drive a mini van with a cassette player, no access to you until i have the time to down load adam corolla off itunes…but you caught my ear when on Adam itunes you said you were dissapointed that youfound out your baby was a boy …SAME hERE…so I gotta tell ya how i had my girl : no acidity (orange juice coffee lemonade tomato sauce) and no orgasm (they raise the acidityt level
….) and you have to have sex about four day safter you ovulate (it seems girl sperm last longer) best of luck!!!!
Your observations are dead on. Kate also seems to have a massive case of OCD with her NPD. I am always glad to see sick Narcissists reap what they sew because they cause so much destruction in the lives of others and often come out unscathed. People don’t realize they are in the same cluster as psychopaths in the DSMR. I am boycotting the show this season, I really can’t stomach any more of her crap and I hope more people do the same.
I’ve tried to watch the show (Jon and Kate Plus
but Kate annoys me so much with her B*****ness that I could stomach any more of her. I couldn’t stand the way she would speak to Jon. I’m married and have been with my husband for 10 years and I would never speak to him like she does to Jon. And she has admitted that she does like the spot light and that she doesn’t want to end the show (Jon and Kate Plus 
but jon does. That right there shows her narcissism. And yes I am laughing at her now with all the S*** that is going on. I hope jon leaves her A**.
I just found your blog last week and I am really enjoying it. Fertility Porn. Good one .. lol.
I heart you Teresa.
Kate is SICK. I feel so sorry for her children. She is so attention drunk that she does not even realize she is a laughing stock and that people loathe her. Those poor kids.
I hope she will quit taking advantage of churches and well wishers. What a fraud.
Ouch… stomach hurting from laughter…
Thanks Teresa,
You know. I have to admit. TLC has a way of sucking me into “John & Kate Plus 8″ so hard, that I don’t even realize what’s hit me until I’m hours into a marathon. I used to enjoy Kate and her incredible ability to immaculate her husband in public places, but I agree. At this point, I think she’s getting what’s coming to her.