How to Make Your Newborn Want to Kill Himself
No.
You can buy these clever onesies at a kiosk at a giant upscale outdoor mall called The Grove in Los Angeles. You could. But that would make your taste in onesies a lot like NUMBER TWO.
My friend Christy Lemire (also pregnant, see the new C cups in above photo), pointed these out to me while we were on a maternity clothes shopping mission at The Gap yesterday.
Punsy onesie. Not so funsie.
Just because the tyke can’t read, doesn’t mean that on some level, he can’t feel his dignity being snatched away.
If you think these are bad stay away from the store in the mall called ‘Spencers’ .the worst onesie I ever saw said “All daddy wanted was a blow-job’
I generally hate this type of shirt too, but I couldn’t resist buying our baby a shirt reading “Babies for Obama: We Need a Change”
My son’s name is Cooper. The song at daycare (my aunt’s house plus 5 other children) is “Cooper, Cooper needs a Pooper.” I need the Pooper onesie.
Think about what your child’s name will rhyme with.
No internet evidence of it remains, but my friend saw a tiny shirt on St. Marks Place once that said: “Now that I’m safe, I’m pro-life.”
Always liked that.
I once saw a onesie that read “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” I don’t think that would be too humiliating for a newborn, though the reference might not be so timely.
Really enjoy your blog.
Love this story,T! Stop humiliating your babies women, they’re pooping fashion victims everywhere.
You might as well just tattoo “I’m an eating, sleeping crap machine” on his chest! Who said that? Was that Adam? You? I heard it somewhere…
haha.now these are the true definition of exploiting your baby.
more photos of the c-cup, please!
Haha, it says ‘Pooper’.
No, seriously, how is a kid meant to have any self esteem when wearing that stuff?
Love your blog, Teresa <3
I’m with you. I hate that (ummm) NUMBER TWO.