Exploiting My Baby : A Blog by Teresa Strasser

  I order a smoothie and the man doesn’t offer me a free boost. “Can I get a Vitabek?” I ask. “Umm. Those aren’t good for pregnant girls.” And this is the first time someone, totally unprovoked, alludes to the baby. Just from looking at me. Which makes today one of those times I know [...]

I gained 16 pounds my first trimester. To put that in perspective, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” the so-called “pregnancy bible” read by 90% of pregnant women in America, suggests gaining between two and four pounds in the first trimester. Oops. I see your two pounds and raise you 14. Author Heidi Murkoff delivers [...]

  Not buying maternity clothes is like refusing a Xanax on an airplane. Don’t be a hero. A couple of weeks ago, when I was 18 weeks pregnant, a woman I barely know, but who must now in retrospect be considered a saint, gave me a stack of hand-me-down maternity clothes. I never would have [...]

When it comes to moms, I don’t really have much to brag about. My stepmother was evil and my mother’s style was characterized mainly by benign neglect. For that reason, I fantasize about women I wish were my mommy, and sometimes I get psyched when I realize some crazy bitch wasn’t my mommy. Here is [...]