Ding dong. The wicked witch is dead.
A few years ago, my evil stepmother died. Almost every single day, it dawns on me that she is still dead, and I find that delightful.
Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Or maybe it is.
After she shuffled off her mortal coils, I wrote an essay about my confusing, guilt-inducing glee at her demise. Here is an excerpt:
“My stepmother never worked at a paying job a day in her life, and had the tawny, crinkled skin of a woman who gardens a lot. As mean and squinty as her eyes were when directed my way, they were green and pretty, homecoming-queen eyes. Although my stepmother was always gaining and losing the same 40 pounds, to me she was all beefy shoulders and sinister stockiness. I have no idea how tall she really was, because in my mind, she was as fearful and looming as a defensive tackle, leaning her elbow in my doorway, impassable.
My stepmonster may be incinerated, but she still gives me the stone-cold willies.”
In honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day holiday, I revisit the story in full.
Read it here.
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Tags: Moms, Mother's Day, stepmother
What an essay! Good for you Teresa! My real mother who is still married to my father is a piece of work too. We have never gotten along, for as long as I can remember. I don’t really think much of either of them at times but man I feel the same way.
Thanks for sharing such a powerful piece!
I was 30 when my evil step mother arrived in my life. She reminds me of a shark- In that dull eyed, cold-hearted kind of way.
There is not adequate room in these comments for me to pour out the buckets of angst and unhappiness her presence brings to my sisters and I.
I rue the day she set her sights on my dad. I wonder if he does too, now.
Isn’t this is all too sad… and why oh why didn’t the pills work?
I recently learned that after years of abuse from this stupid b–ch, she tryed to committ suicide a few weeks ago, when my father was dying. Who stopped her is my question?
Why oh why do I have to wait for her to die to own a piece of property that has been in my family for half a century.
Die b–ch die!
Great article! I love Mother’s Day because it’s a day to give appreciation to all the hard working mothers out there.
If you’re a mother, go to the link below for your free Mother’s Day gift!
http://bit.ly/free-mothers-day-gift
Teresa,
Danny Bonaduce and Dave Dameshek just got hit by a PATH train. They were holding hands. I hope this news improves your day.
Your buddy,
SR
TERESAAAAAA glad you have a blog! oh man the comments are so catty.
I, too, have an evil stepmother! It’s so wonderful to read this article because even though mine is not as bad as yours was, she’s evil enough to me. When we are children, we are, as you noted, unable to make sense of what miserable people they must be.
I admire your work as a writer so much; your candid commentary is priceless. Please write a book!
By the way…I have 6 normal-guyish brothers most of whom visit and/or speak with my mom regularly. She’s understanding, thoughtful and has a great sense of humor. You won’t have a problem getting your son to speak to you.
I let out a squeel of delight when I hooked on my mp3 player as I was getting ready to walk the dogs. Teresa and Bald Bryan!! My walks are far longer, at least they appear to be, without you two. I really enjoy Adam, but like ice cream, it’s so much better with the extra goodies.
I love your writing. It’s honest, insightful and funny. Are you considering writing a book? When I read your articles I think of David Sedaris, one of my favorites. You’ve got a perfect family for storytelling. Maybe not so much for living.
Love the new website too! Very
I have seen this before and I think it is wonderfully sad–keep in mind that you are just one year away from your own Mother’s Day memories.
I caught the AC podcast this morning (I miss you and Brian) and I feel you on stupid women who pretend they love being pregnant. I am a featured blogger for the Sacramento Bee’s mom’s networking site (yes, a networking site for moms which is nauseating in itself). Check it out sometime (http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/AmandaS/10005) another good podcast and blog is Manic Mommies http://www.manicmommies.com/.
All the best,
amanda
Hey T, I caught you on the podcast today. It was really good to hear you guys back together again. I’m a little paranoid like you, so when you and BB went several weeks w/o being on the podcast I assumed Ace forgot all about you two, haha. Any way I heard you talk about being afraid your son wont want anything to do with you when he grows up. I could think of no better way to show you what it will be like then this episode from the wonder years. I hope its reassuring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CGIgSITzAs&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?=OWe8P3kYDqk&feature=channel_page
Hello Teresa, You can’t imagine my delight when this morning I got to work, selected Adam’s podcast (as I do each morning,) and learned that I would be hearing from you and Bryan.
A person more clever than I (or more observant) would have found your blog already but I had to hear it from you. It is now in my “favorites” and a always a mouse click away.
hey T, do you think it’s fair to publish an article about someone who’s dead and doesn’t have the chance to defend herself? if she were a public figure, then fair enough. but as far as i know, she never sought publicity. so why do you choose to give her publicity when she isn’t around to give her side of the story. that’s pretty damned unfair. i hope no one besmirches your name after you’re gone.
Unfortunate….
Your the best T
Wow, your step-mom sounds like something out of a Roald Dahl book. I am glad you’ve become something great, or at least someone whose chatter is incredibly pleasant to listen to. No, we’ll go with great. What the hell.
thanks for helping her out l.a.rag mag guys. she looks hot on T.V. watercooler too. Remember that you’re eating for two!!
Teresa-I miss hearing you every weekday morning! I love your blog and hope you keep writing!
Sorry you had to deal with such a horrible person, glad she is out of your life!
Wow, yeah I don’t feel as bad about my stepmother now! Did you ever feel resentfull to your dad for staying with her? I’m sorry that she was such a hose beast but I can tell that these things became part of the fuel that sparks the creative gal we fans of yours so enjoy, after all gas does often start out as a dead rotting carcass!
Oh Teresa…I am so happy I found you again. Miss hearing you every morning, but reading your blog will be a good compromise. Hope to hear on Adam’s show again soon!
Teresa, I greatly miss your voice every morning! Will you be on Adam’s podcast again any time soon?
Would love an update on the hemorrhoids… oh yeah and an update on your life after the radio show would be nice too.
I love Adam’s podcast but just isn’t the same without you! Although I think he’s a smart guy, you were a great buffer to his somewhat ignorant and “old man view” on certain subjects.
Good luck!
I enjoyed that article when you published and when you spoke of it on the radio show.
But I was sad that she came to mind again this Mother’s Day. My wish for you is that this is the last Mother’s Day that brings her to mind. Next year is all about YOU chick!
brought tears to my eyes – what a waste of energy on your stepmother’s part. Though, I liked the rabbi’s final response [as hard as it may be; though, make's life easier since sarcasm/meanness is rampant].
I’m glad I paid closer attention to AC’s podcast/site to view your link.
One another note – [some years back] it took me a long while to get use to the new host on the TLC show…[which I now miss regardless of the host]
thank you for sharing/take care
T- I am so happy I found this blog! I know it sounds straight-up-crazy, but I’ve really missed you since the radio show went off the air. I can’t believe what a huge impact you & Adam & BB had on my daily life. SUCKS that it’s gone. (for now.) Anyway, keep the updates coming… I love reading all of your hilariousness! (is that a word?… Whatever.) Will we ever hear you on Adam’s Podcast again??? PLEASE!?!?
Much love to you!
Troy,
woo hoo. T & B and Adam on today’s podcast!
That is such a heartbreaking story.
You are such an amazing writer. I am truly in awe of your ability to live through such a thing and then be able to recall and write it all down so that I am there in that pink hallway with you, wondering what the hell is the deal with the lollipop canister.