CVS: Order Now and Get Six Months of Worry Free Pregnancy!
I don’t want to say I got the hard sell on having a CVS test, but when I went to my mandatory pre-test genetic counseling session, it felt a little like being on a used car lot on the last day of the month taking a recession test drive with a salesman one vehicle short of his quota.
In essence, he was asking, “What’s it going to take to get you into these stirrups?” And he wasn’t going to let us walk without closing.
I’m sure the information was medically sound, responsible, factual, bla, bla, bla, but this is pretty much how I heard it.
Mrs. Strasser, this CVS is top of the line. It’s the Cadillac of invasive prenatal diagnostic tests, and we give you a lifetime no chromosomal defects guarantee!
On the other hand, if you like “uncertainty,” perhaps this test isn’t for you. I guess you don’t mind the idea of visiting your child in an institution because it’s severely impaired and you just didn’t feel like getting the CVS. I guess you are one of those people who don’t mind Fragile X Syndrome or Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Look, the CVS test is not for everyone, just customers who appreciate our 99 percent accuracy rate in diagnosing chromosomal abnormalities.
We offer easy financing through your insurance company.
But really, how can you put a price on peace of mind? Our model of CVS practitioner, Dr. Everyone Goes to Him, is the best on the market. Best safety record around. Again, like I said, some folks don’t care about safety, and if that’s you, I guess the CVS isn’t an investment worth making right now.
Let me show you some of the other CVS features.
We can test for several hundred genetic disorders. Tay-Sachs Disease? Cystic fibrosis? We got you covered. Did you say you were Ashkenazi? Yikes, that’s bad. What? Nothing.
The first trimester screening test you already had, that nice little sonogram and blood screen combo, that’s cute and all, but if you want a real test, that’s a waste of your time. Sure, that checks for a few mutations, but this is the bad boy. We check all 23 chromosomes. Order now, and we’ll even throw in free gender identification.
You can think about it, but at 12 weeks, you don’t have much time. Dr. Everyone Goes to Him books up and your window for this test shuts at 13 weeks. No pressure. You can have an amniocentesis at 15 weeks if you like. Up to you. I sure wouldn’t want to run into any defects that late in the game.
Sold.
That’s exactly what we went through with our 3rd kid. We paniced when the news came that something is iffy. But once we sat at the genetic counselor’s office and they went from down sydrome to some other possible genetic defect we knew we couldn’t take these quakes serious. Sure enough everything looked okay on the super expensive ultra sound and they still tried to sell some more ultra sound “follow up sessions”. Sometimes it’s as a dirty business as used car sales dealerships.
I like the way you write! Nice blog.
Yay! Theresa! Happy to hear all is well with you and your family. My morning’s miss the sound of your voice.
Peaceout, wh
Congratulations on your new family.
Not to worry you shall be an excellent mother.
You, your husband and your child together you shall figure this family life thing out.
All good thoughts,
Ken & Nancy
Hi Theresa,
I feel your pain! I was perhaps not ‘pressured’ to do the CVS, but a doctor did recommend it and acted like it was no big deal, no risk involved – when as you know, there is a risk. I am 39, and I had three prior partial molar pregnancies (you can Google what those are, it’s a weird chromosonal anamoly that results in a fake pregnancy of sorts – a D&C is needed to remove the tissue and malignant cells, and it can cause a kind of cancer if not monitored – joy!) Anyway – I went to Cedars and the genetic counselor was very nice. I started crying during the appointment – after three partial molar pregnancies I just could not bring myself to endanger my first (and perhaps ONLY) real pregnancy – and so she did not give me the hard sell. Then our initial scan and blood work came back so positive, that the new doctor said he didn’t find it necessary to do the CVS. I so agree about the whole ‘Doctor That Everyone Goes To’ and the window of time you have to do it, and how an amnio is too late in the game – it IS a lot of pressure.
Still, the peace of mind a CVS gives is undeniable I’m sure. But here I am at 29 weeks pregnant and all is still going very normal and well. I was even told I don’t need to see a perionatologist (as many women over 35 are instructed to do, along with seeing their OB/GYN), so I have had NO ultrasounds (4D or otherwise) since that 18 week anatomy scan. Sometimes I get very worried/anxious – not knowing what the hell is going on in my womb – but I guess what I am learning is this whole creation of a life thing is such a mystery, that sometimes you have to just give in to the mystery and have a bit of faith and hope that you and the baby make it through. It’s definitely a lesson in letting go of things you can’t control – and that’s probably good training for being a parent!
I just left the State program that did all the Birth Defects Research. Can’t say much about the 5D ultrasound (when did we find the 4th AND 5th dimensions?!) but the Quadruple AFP screen test is a better birth defects check. California is about to take possession of a HUGE birth defects registry, so in a few years hopefully the doctors will do less lumpy picture/video sales and more work to make pregnant life easier for women.
T, we all miss hearing you every morning on the radio. I just now found this blog, and will check regularly! Don’t forget your folic acid & other vitamins
LOVE this! I’m 17/18 weeks along and I felt the same pressure. When I passed on it, they looked at me like I did the unthinkable. My ONLY risk factor was that I had just turned 35 a couple weeks before. I wonder if it’s just a money-making scam. From what I was being told the statistics were low as far as accuracy. It was as good as saying you had a 50/50 chance and get 100% chance of stressing either way. No thank you. Glad to know others felt the same way.
You say it just how I think it…I love you. Im 26 weeks and I went thru that CVS bs and boy did it stress me out. Apparently Im a CF carrier, so eventho I dont have CF, I carry the “mutated gene”. So we HAD to have my hubby tested, and luckily he doesnt carry it, but that was about the most stressful point of the pregnancy so far.
Also, and Im sure you know this, but theres a down syndrome test in like week 18-22. Its not accurate. I did it anyways, cuz Im a sucker, but it came back negative so thats good. And when we did the anatomy ultrasound, we found out the sex, (which I thought we wouldnt be able to really tell, but it sure was obvious) but they also look at the nose bone, which I guess in down syndrome kids look different. And they said it looked normal.
Sometimes I wish it was like caveman days, and you just had the damn baby and what you got was what you got, y’know what I mean?!
I have missed you soooooooooooooo much! I have been an Adam Carolla fan forever and thought that when you joined the ACS, it was the best decision that show ever made. Now that the show is gone, I’ve been waiting to hear an update from you. I am so glad that you’re blogging about your pregnancy experience. Best wishes with everything, I am confident that everything will work out perfectly!!! My kids are 10 and 11 now, so it seems like so long ago that I went through all of that ‘stuff’-but one thing is for sure, it always works out!
Take care and keep up the blog! I also hope that you get a chance to make an appearance on Adam’s podcast soon.
Yay! You have a blog!
Teresa,
That’s some funny shit, but now you have to think about, and be sold on, not the 2D ultrasound, not the 3D, but the 5D!
Hell, I’m not sure any go that high, and if they do, it will tell if your child will be the proud owner of mental telepathy!
I didn’t fall for it, but was pressured into it by my girl. She just HAD to have one, cause all the girls are getting them (of course). So we went in. The damn baby didn’t let us see her, cause she had her hands in her face. Reschedule. SAME THING! I’m paying how much, and getting a picture, and video, of my unborn child playing peek-a-boo? Fuck that.
I can have my two year old do that with me till I tell him to stop, for FREE!
Anyway, miss your comments on the air, and hope you’re happy, cause you should be. Seeya.
Jesse.