Bad Move: Calling Nancy O’Dell a “C-Word”
Almost every idiotic thing I do can be traced back to one basic flaw: trying too hard. This explains how I ended up calling Nancy O’Dell a “stupid c-word.”
That’s right. I called America’s sweetheart a “c-word” on the Adam Carolla Podcast and I may have done it more than once, although it’s all a bit of a blur now, except on iTunes, where it screeches out at you with perfect clarity. I guess I got caught up in the moment, trying to be funny, trying to fit in with the guys, trying to be so bracingly honest that pregnant women everywhere would embrace me as their new truth-teller and anti-O’Dell.
I was doing Adam’s hugely successful daily podcast when I decided to discuss Nancy’s pregnancy book, “Full of Life.” Let’s face it, after three years of not cursing on FM radio I might have been a little “fuck,” and “asshole” happy, but there was no need to go “c-word” on Nancy and I was way, way out of line, trying to make a point and of course, as is always the case when I am trying too hard, saying something lame.
After recording the podcast, I woke up in a panic in the middle of the night, wracked with guilt. Nancy will probably never even hear the podcast and wouldn’t care if she did, because she has a life, but it doesn’t matter, because I know I said it and it came out all wrong, as only the “c-word” can.
Nancy, if you happen to read this, I am so sorry.
I know you can’t relate, because according to your book your worst pregnancy symptom was frightfully lustrous hair, but I’m kind of unhinged right now.
And reading about your pregnancy skin (“I swear it actually glowed. It was luminous and smooth”) while I sat in a bathtub nauseated, eating a bowl of cereal to stave off throwing up, and covered with horrible cystic acne, made me lose my shit with jealousy.
“I’d read that an increase in hormones could sometimes cause the opposite reaction, aggravating skin and causing breakouts. Phew, I had dodged a bullet there!” writes Nancy. And guess what? That bullet you dodged hit me right in the face, and anywhere else one might find a sebaceous gland.
What’s more, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth was so richly rewarding that your husband diagnosed you with your one serious baby-related disorder: “postpartum elation.” You couldn’t stop crying because having a daughter made you think of your own beloved mother and the goddamn circle of goddamn life. Meanwhile, my mom got a job driving a public school bus through the smog-choked San Fernando Valley to avoid taking care of me when I was a baby. She hates babies and will leave a restaurant crossing her arms in a huff if one even makes a peep. I haven’t talked to her since I found out I was pregnant. And in some ways, I want my mommy, but in every fundamental way that you had and are a mother, I got nothing.
Whereas Nancy, you are perfect. You have everything. You scrapbook.
Both you and your newborn little girl are gorgeous. So you might not understand saying something you regret.
Let me just say that at the time it was really hot in Adam Carolla’s podcast studio in a garage in Glendale, and my bottled water was just out of reach and I was too self-conscious to break the mood and reach for it and one piece of my bangs kept getting in my eye and I couldn’t focus because Adam was making fun of Jenny McCarthy for her idiotic, high-maintenance hair-do while I agreed but couldn’t stop tucking my stupid hair back. I knew my tone was wrong, that while I was trying to make myself the butt of the joke, it misfired. When I tried to correct it, I went to that file in my brain labeled “how to fix it when you say something crappy about someone and you are really just trying to point out how bitter and jealous you are,” but the file was empty. Instead, there was just a post-it reading “peanut butter sounds nummy.”
Your little lime green and lavender dissertation on maternal euphoria shouldn’t try my patience with advice on how to laminate ultrasound photos and tips like “Pants with an elastic waistband are great for the first trimester.”
You are happy and productive and not broken. You had a kid and wrote a book, two things I have yet to do. You don’t second-guess every single thing you do, where as I am already second-guessing writing this sentence about second-guessing. So next time I call you a “c-word,” even if it’s completely in jest, it should be “content,” the best and most enviable c-word of all.
I just found your blog. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading it and how much I miss your contribution to Adam’s show. You were far and away the best thing about it. Your writing about your neuroses reminds me so much of the special lady in my life. I hope you keep it up.
It was really nice to hear you on Adam’s podcast, I hope you two stay in touch!
Thanks for being honest!
T – No worries ‘babydoll’! I did laugh out loud when I heard it – forgetting for a second that the podcasts are not FCC regulated. It was hilarious! I have (3) boys, 24, 17 and 14 – sometimes they dig me – sometimes they don’t..sometimes I dig them, sometimes I don’t but there is no doubt that there is a special mother and son bond that will always be there. There may be some truth to what Adam says about sons not wanting to see their mothers often but if that’s the case by the time that comes around chances are the feeling is mutual.
Best of luck to you and stop by the podcast more often. Glad you are doing this so your fans can keep up with you. Take Care !!
T,
Loved hearing parts 1&2 of the Aceman’s podcast with you and Bald Brian. As much as I love Adam’s humor and intelligence, I will always be convinced that you took him to a higher level. You make a great team.
I’m so glad to find your blog so I can keep in touch with your pregnancy! Wow, a boy! You will be a great mom. Everyone loves to give advice. Don’t sweat it.
Mary
PS your blog design is awesome!
Hey T, you got a mention on the Howard Stern Show today. Bengie mentioned your writing for Usweekly is impressive. Keep up the nauseous good work! Ps. my wife is prego and feeling the same way. She eats crackers every morning before she sits up and that helps. Good luck.
Teresa,
I miss you! I really can’t think of anything else to say but that! I hope to hear you back on the podcast soon!
Dear Teresa,
You work in comedy so when you call someone a c-word on a comedy show meant for adults, it is not shocking and she should probably take it (if she hears it) with a grain of salt. Also, you are awesome and like 10,000x better (prettier, smarter, funnier) than Nancy O’Dell.
Good luck with your pregnancy,
Phil
Ditto to what summertime said. P.S. don’t take up sudoku or crosswords right now….sigh. baby brain is sad.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. You and Bryan were fantastic on the podcast and I hope you will be back often.
Teresa,
It was great to hear you on the podcast again… I still haven’t quite recovered from the loss of my morning drive time ritual… Now NPR is my morning drive, and I swore I would never be one of “those” people… But there isn’t much to listen to out there right now… I think its great that you called Nancy o Dell a c-word, and even greater that you felt so bad about it, and greatest that you shared your entire thought process about the entire situation. Your honesty and openness about your feelings and experiences are at the crux of your writing and your personality… One of the reasons I tuned in every day… One of the reasons I just subscribed to your RSS feed… Thanks for keeping it real yo… And whenever you get a chance head over to Adam’s warehouse you guys have a great charisma… Always brightens my day.
Hi, T. I heard the podcast and it was super funny. I miss your humor, even when it comes from that self-conscious, “I have to say something funny” place you describe. I wouldn’t sweat the C-word comment. I think I spit diet coke all over my car’s dashboard when you said it. I also liked how, a few times, you commented on one of Adam’s stories to the effect that it would make a great scene in his new sitcom. You can bet none of those will make it into the show, however. I think you should be one of his writers. You GET what sets him off, and not because you necessarily agree with his point of view, but because you understand what makes him tick. His sitcom will need that if it’s going to be successful. Anyway, take care.
No sweat T. She can take it.
I thought it was hilarious and don’t think you should worry about it.
Hey T! Just thought that I’d let you know that Benjy Bronk (writer on the Stern show) gave you props on the show today. He mentioned that you were very funny and talented. He spoke of your work in In Touch Weekly, he also writes for them from time to time. Loved hearing you on the AC Podcast again. Keep well.
Theresa, it was so good to hear you back with Adam and Brian. The three of you are so great together.
You look fantastic! You’re normally too thin, and I would have never guessed you are pregnant from the photo.
I just wanted to let you know that when Adam told you about boys being indifferent or worse to their mothers, keep in mind the phrase “me and all my friends,” or “all the guys I know” – which is how Adam related it.
I love my mother very much. We were never unusually close, but my father left very early, and her confidence in me was a great source of strength. She taught me to think for myself, encouraged my talent, and made sacrifices for her children that I’ll never forget.
Maybe it does have something to do with her being a single parent. Maybe it’s more about how much she loved me. Either way, I’m a fan of Adam, but let’s face it – this is not the only way in which he and his friends are, um… unsophisticated. You’ve met them, right? They do represent a certain portion of our society, but if you love your son, and he can look back and see that – he will love you.
Happy Mothers Day.
T-
No apology necessary. I am a stupid cunt. A cunt with shiny, lustrous hair made only the more so by my adorable daughter. Aren’t we cute together in this picture?
Don’t be too hard on yourself Teresa. If folks listen to the entire podcast, they’ll understand the context in which the word was used. The only ones that will have a problem with it will be those that don’t/won’t listen to the podcast. P.S. Congrats on everything. You look amazing in the photo with Bryan and Adam. Take care
T,
Don’t sweat it!
Take Care
JohnE
I’m not the first here to recommend dooce.com. I think it will make you feel much better about your own pregnancy experiences.
I absolutely understood and laughed when you said that. Loved hearing you and BB on the podcast. You look beautiful. I have a friend who is always telling me she doesn’t understand why I had such a hard labor when both her total labor and deliveries lasted only two hours and she was out of the hospital in less than a day. I so want to call her the C word, but I love her all the same.
Ps: Not trying to scare you with the hard labor comment, every labor is different. I just learned you have to ask for drugs immediately upon entrance to the hospital and never stop demanding them. For me anyway. Nurses can be bitches, ha. And if anyone on this board wants to call me out for saying that, they can kiss my a**. I’ve never met so many nurses that really shouldn’t have been put into that profession. Of course there are some good ones, but there are somes you want to report to management immediately for their uncaring attitude. I’m not saying this just based on my deliveries, but also for the treatment I saw my parents receive when they were very ill in the hospital.
Well…I like both you Nancy (who I’m 100% sure will understand) and I hope you will be a regular guest on the Adam Carolla podcast. Your blog is great.
Hi T!
I’m a speech language pathologist so I’ve taken tons of child development courses. I would trade every child rearing book for one book.
“How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Maizlish. My kids are now 17 (daughter) and 19 (son) and we have a beautiful relationship as a result of that book.
P.S. My 19 year old son communicates with me on a regular, healthy basis.
Great to hear you on the podcast. I miss hearing you every day!
FIrst of all, I thought it was hi-larious what you said! But I get the buyer’s remorse. Anyway, regarding baby stuff – awesome that you have found a place to put your thoughts and feelings about it all. It’s so scary. My son is 18 months, and it has been a wild ride. What I learned during pregnancy: NEVER rub a pregnant mom’s belly without permission, and Never, EVER tell people to “sleep while they can!” That drove me nuts! Obviously, we all have different experiences – mine is no different. As a mom who is turning 36, I was questioning the whole “mom” thing, and interviewed everyone! I would ask, No really, is it REALLY that great? And yes, everyone told me Yes, it’s great. This is what I would’ve loved to of heard, “Sometimes yes, sometimes no.” Since that is MY truth. You are totally fun, and great to listen to. Thanks for your honesty, I look forward to reading more. Take care!
I loved the podcast, then come here to read that you are beating yourself up over the comment about Nancy O’Dell. I have done stuff like that, getting on a roll, good audience & then got to far. Love that you write about the whole thing so honestly.
Great to get an update on your pregnancy.
Having the 3 of you reunited again was great to listen to.
I have a new favorite blog!
You would probably find a kindred spirit in Heather Armstong at dooce.com. All she ever hears is how she’s exploiting her baby/child, and she responds in pretty much the same way, ie a punch to the facebook.
T – Your podcast yesterday and today with Adam was awesome. It was so cool to hear you uncensored and you just being yourself.
Glad to know the pregnancy is going well and good luck with the rest of it!!! Love the blog.
Nancy O’Dell will probably catch wind of this over tea and scones later this week and ask her darling and devoted husband who the F*** Teresa Strasser is.
Teresa,
I wouldn’t worry about it. Apology noted.
-America
Good news for Teresa and my pregnant wife: Morning sickness linked to smarter babies.
http://www.babycenter.com/204_morning-sickness-linked-to-smarter-babies_10312743.bc?scid=momspreg_20090428:2&pe=2UwDwGE
Hi T!!
Welcome the world of blogging. I heard you on the podcast and I was thrilled to find out that you are pregnant! Congratulations. I look forward to the day when you, Ace and Bald Brian are all together again. I will add your blog to my list of links and I’ll be checking back daily!!
Congratulations!!!!!
Two books about motherhood really worth reading – Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott, and, as has already been mentioned, Vicki Iovine’s Girlfriends Guides. These books are funny and truthful and will become your bedside reading for the next few years. Teresa, you are too smart to fill your head with a bunch of TMZesque parenting books. Stop it already!
I don’t know what’s more amusing – the fact that you called her the C word or that you feel guilty and need to apologize.
T-
check out you tube sensation ‘Pregnant women are smug’ v. funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8
I thought the comment was funny and used in the correct context for making a joke.
Enjoyed the podcast.
CC
I think I can speak for a vast majority of Adam’s audience when I say:
“Who the hell is Nancy O’Dell?”
Call her whatever you like, I’m inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt.
T
I just heard your Adam Corolla podcast and I loved it! Couldn’t wait to checkout your blog. Hope you and Brian stop by more often.
schmopi
Hello Teresa,
I’ve never written to a celebrity in my life (and growing up as I did in media saturated America – anyone I see or hear on the TV or Radio is ipso facto a celebrity). I was a HUGE fan of the entire gang whilst you were ‘on the air’, and have been hopefully helping Adam to keep his astonishing stats by downloading from iTunes every day – I must confess that I miss you and Brian more and more each week. I think it’s so typical of the Strasser essence that you not only felt the need to apologize to Nancy, but took the extra time and effort to do it, when really … what did you say that half the sane women in America haven’t already said about Ms. Soft-focused-well-lit-lobotomized-smile O’Dell. She MAY be a delightful person who walks old ladies across the street, but she pretty much does whatever can be done to distance herself from those of us poor girls who shove their legs into panties they hope won’t be seen by some paramedic at the scene of a bloody accident, one leg at at time.
Pregancy cannot be described in a paragraph, a book or even in a seven volume tome that would do JK Rowlings proud. My first pregnancy left me ending every day thinking “ok…so it seems clear they’re never going to actually trust me with any newborn who makes it through this gestation” … but as it turns out, the measuring stick they use is made of overcooked pasta and my spawn and I escaped before any questions could be lodged into sanity or suitability. She’s almost 20 now and still makes me giddy every time I look at her (or her little sister – I even did it again ??!). Of course any parent of teens who doesn’t tell you that they’ve seriously considered getting in their car and merging onto the 10 freeway and driving until they run out of gas and taking a job at the 7-11 is again full of bullshit. You will the mother all your kids friends will wish THEY had.
Good Luck and Mazeltov !!!
Teresa!
I have a two year old – I hated being pregnant, I hated the advice, I hated baby showers and I hated maternity clothes. The only thing that made me feel better was my husband said I was beautiful. What a guy!
Then the baby came…I’ll spare you the labor story, that was the other thing I hated, everybody’s ‘graphic’ labor stories! I didn’t bond with the baby..she freaked me out.
Here’s the bright side, she’s two, she’s healthy, I got over it, and I love being a mommy. You’ll be FINE! eff NancyO, maybe you should write a pregnancy book for women like me, btw I delivered 16 days after my 40th birthday. Congratulations!
T, I’m so glad there is a forum we can hear from you! Ever since the show went of the air I’ve wished I knew how the pregnancy was going and how you were doing. I listen to the podcast but it isn’t the same without you.
T
I do not know what you are talking about. Of course you can call another women a cunt because you are in misery and she is making women everywhere feel like shit! You are beautiful, but no woman wants to hear an already vivacious blond talk about how mush more ravishing she is. It is like she is rubbing it in. It is like the captain of the football team being amazed at just how good at sports he is! Plus, she should be able to realize you were calling her a name tongue in cheek!
I think you will make a great MOM and I love hearing mothers talk about their children. I dearly love my son. You sound like you and your husband will be very thoughtful parents.
Oh yea…Ace is right about your son, but a daughter would hate you.
T I think you should just open up the floodgates of anger that regular women have for celebrities that are pregnant. Wow I’m so impressed your back to your pre-pregnancy weight after only 2 weeks since you have unlimited time and funds. You should be the one writing the pregnancy tips, like how to get through the day without vomiting in public. I could have used that book! You’re the best T !!
it was so weird hearing you say the “F-word” so many times…..but very nice to hear you do the news again. Ah the good ole days!!
It’s nice that you are apologizing but it’s not necessary. In context its obvious that you have no real malice against her, you were raging against the situation. Only some douche-nozzle would take this or anything anybody said out of context for the purpose of creating strife.
I’m just so happy to hear your on the podcast! I’m about a week behind…gotta get caught up! I’m so excited!
I like your blog. Sorry you can’t take a chill pill and stop obsessing over possibly saying something inapropriate while playing with the boys at Carolla’s frathouse/garage gig.
Keep writing.
You know – the fact that your apology is NOT in response to any sort of backlash or reaction to what you said is awesome. It means it’s honest and sincere.
That being said, I LOVED hearing you say that – it was so fun to hear you swear up a storm on that podcast.
My wife’s favorite word is the c-word, by the way. It’s why I married her.
Love listening to you guys and find you hilarious.
Have you heard this song — Pregnant Women Are Smug
Thought you’d get a chuckle.
http://vimeo.com/4085920
That podcast was the best! I miss hearing your voice T. Looking forward to part 2 today.
hahahaha. Oh lady, you are so pregnant. Hormones are AWESOME. What you said was fine (seriously, books about comfortable all the time, worry free, painless, wonderful-skin pregnancies should be banned because such things do. not. exist.). The whole beating yourself up and then regretting the regretting and then second guessing everything you’ve said/though/done… have I mentioned how awesome hormones are yet? Your brain will continue to go in circles but then you’ll get to look back in a few months and go ahhhhh pregnancy brain is rad. And funny!
Wow. Just listened to the podcast and was very happy to hear the gang back together. It’s good to hear someone say what they’re feeling and refreshing to read the honest feelings of dealing with the self imposed aftermath.
Mark
Yes, you shouldn’t have said it.
It doesn’t mean she isn’t one. Celebrity pregnancy/childrearing books are self indulgent garbage.